What's Bothering You?

They talk about the United States being the best place to live at and that “land of the free home of the brave” **** and everyone talks it up like “you ain’t America you ain’t ****.”

I guess they like NOT having free healthcare and yeah nothing in life is free but when you’re suffering or need a surgery done or whatever you’re not getting it if you don’t pay. You need a life changing surgery done? Congrats you’re in debt the rest of your life. You can be happy but not without being miserable I guess? Screw this country. This country doesn’t give a **** about you. They definitely don’t care about transgender individuals. I guess the “land of the free” part should contain an asterisk because *exclusions apply*
 
I had an appointment this afternoon with an Occupational Therapist to see if they could help with my hand/finger/ wrist pain/swelling.
First of all, she was about 20 minutes late, which I didn't mind, as I know things can happen. However, the appointment felt rushed as a result of that and I didn't get to say everything I wanted. Plus, she was in and out of the room. Basically, there is nothing else they can do apart from make personalised splints for me. She was lovely, but even she said with everything I've tried why did the Rheumatologist refer me? She said does he think there is some magical cure?
I tried to tell her my hands weren't as bad at present as I'm on steroids but it didn't seem to get through. 🙄 I got the usual, 'You seem happy and motivated.' I gave my usual response 'Why should I take it out on other people? It's not your/their fault I have medical conditions.'
 
Why can’t connecting a new printer to a computer ever just be easy!!!!!!!!
I FEEL this. I got a new printer for work (an HP, DO NOT BUY!!) and it won't print from my computer, only my phone. I've spent a total of 2 hours on the phone with IT and no dice. Printers are annoying!
 
i highkey wish i didnt drop out of uni in fall 2022. im grateful the same uni accepted me again, but now i feel like im behind everyone else i graduated with in high school :/ theyre abt to be considered juniors meanwhile im still classified as a freshman :D literally considering taking classes during the winter break, and summer to catch up ....
 
Christmaszilla is back!

I know people that enjoy decorating the house for holidays with family and have fun, but not in my house. At home we have an obsessional Christmaszilla that wants to control everything then complain we are not helping, but when we try to help the Christmaszilla screeches at us. I wanted to put a little Christmas tree on a table and got a NO! Why not? There is space, it will be pretty with candles and snacks, Christmaszilla doesn't want it. Christmaszilla likes to put decorations where me and the cats are going, aka the window, and then yells at us for getting too close of the said decorations. I said "just don't put decoration there" and the Christmaszilla threatened us, and then played the victim saying there won't be any decorations or Christmas next year. (Yeah right) It's always like that, just drama every year, I have witnesses, but Christmaszilla keeps denying it and put the blame on us. The Christmaszilla can be really nasty and rude but it's our fault :rolleyes:


And then, when the TBT Christmas event start, the Christmaszilla will say that everything I do is useless and a waste of time but you know what? The Christmaszilla ate all my TBT cookies and used my TBT ornement for its tree. :sneaky:...
Dress up as the krampus and spank them.
 
Dress up as the krampus and spank them.
Haha! Bad idea... I will have to sleep in the snow after 😞
I need to divert their attention.
I think I will put chocolate in my little tree... like if I decorate it with Lindt and Rocher and put little bags of potato chip with ribbons under the tree.....Oh....I'm pretty sure it will be over for them...Christmaszilla can't resit chocolate and potato chips.
 
Lack of sleep, urgh. Lack of time to myself. And a general feeling of uselessness and listless negativity.
The weather is really nice and my family seems happy, but I am just feeling the pressure and stress of this season. I recently read a poem by Nikita Gill about this legacy of stress that women feel, and one of the lines really struck me:

Every woman I have loved has been Atlas.
Holding the heavens on her shoulders,
giving and giving until she is devoured.
I know it's kind of dark, but it encapsulates what I'm feeling. Sometimes, that's just the way it goes.
 
My tooth hurts and it's not even one on the list waiting for a treatment, I have already 4 treatments waiting because I don't have the money yet, and now that?

I couldn't sleep much because of the pain and the construction site next to our home. (don't get me started on the construction, they cut the little forest next to our house I'm still in shock)

I tried to take a short nap but the phone keeps ringing and then someone loud knocked at the door.
 
I haven't been able to see my dentist in 3 years and I just learned we have a new one who my entire family hates so that's very discouraging and makes me scared of when I'll be going back. I liked the old dentist, she was so nice. This new one sounds like a terrible person you don't want even looking at your teeth...

Edit: Turns out it's so bad that my mom was already going to make sure I don't see that particular dentist. So that's reassuring.
 
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my old charger broke, i was using it until my phone battery was regressing even though it was plugged in. i went to target and got a brand new one for $14 and it doesn’t even work unless i hold it at an angle 🙃 at least my grandma let me use hers because she doesn’t use her phone often.

i sure hope target accepts returns where the box was opened.
 
I have a cold sore in a familiar spot. It’s the exact same spot I had one over a decade ago that got infected and I had to get the infection removed by a doctor. It’s just a regular cold sore, but it being in that exact spot brings back memories I don’t want to remember. Luckily, I have cream for things like this. I always have cream handy for cold sores.
 
My head hurts from all of the on-and-off crying that I’ve been doing these past days.

I can’t wait for this weekend. Not checking my email for updates on my application will mean that I won’t have to think about my future; and the relatives who will move away.
 
hate that my body's natural reaction to a strrssful/difficult situation, even if said situation has been resolved, is lingering anxiety. like why am I still feeling this anxious? I almost feel like I'm trembling and I feel so uncomfortable even though I'm trying to get cozy.

but I sometimes forget that I need to be gentle with myself when this happens. that's just how my mind works, and there's nothing to be ashamed of because you can't just fix an anxiety disorder. you can try to work on it, but it's always there. I don't want to be made to feel like I'm stupid, or simply wallowing in my anxiety because I'm too lazy to do something about it. because I realistically can't, I just have to learn to live with it. sometimes that happens. and sometimes anxiety disorders really suck. I and others need to have some more compassion.
 
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