What's Bothering You?

Two things. The temporary problem is that I'm tired after not getting any sleep last night. Yesterday I took a nap in the evening and that messed up sleep schedule. So now I'm fighting the urge to go to sleep already.

I don't think that October/Halloween will be my new favorite time of the year. Every time that I look for Halloween decorations or aesthetic, images of spiders (clipart and decorations) pop up in the results. I hate spiders. It also doesn't help that lately I keep remembering the incident from last December. I was expecting to feel rage on the days leading up to Christmas, but not this early.
 
So, I'm not going to delete this post this time, but...

The mild bell's palsy that I got was most likely caused by lack of sleep, which makes sense. Ever since my mom passed in 2020, my sleep schedule has spiraled out of control, in part due to that and in part due to not having the structure in my life from university anymore. It's gotten so bad that I've taken too many all-nighters.

Well with this happening now, I believe it's a warning sign, and I absolutely have to start getting consistent sleep, or it's going to spiral out of control. It's been to the point where I crashed in the morning on some days and woke up feeling like someone took a sledgehammer to my head. And on other days I would think to myself, this is really the battle of my life.

I've been doing so much for others and sacrificing so much for others that in the end I've been sacrificing my health for others as well, and that uh... needs to stop. Even if I'm not exercising every day, at the very least I do need to get some amount of sleep every night.

This isn't so much a vent as a realization, but thank you to whoever reads this. 💚
 
oddbear said:
https://twitter.com/x/status/1709418623566020975

THIS.
NOW I DON'T GET TO SEND SWAPDOODLES TO PEOPLE AND I CAN'T VISIT MY SISTER'S NEW LEAF TOWN.
ALSO WHAT THE HECK IS TBT GOING TO DO??

(btw, it says that online play functions on the 3ds and wii u are shutting down in april 2024 if you can't see the tweet)
Click to expand...
Ugh. I know that they were intending on doing this eventually, but I expected it to happen when the Switch 2 was released.

Guess I gotta hurry up and get those ribbons on my Pokemon and transfer them over, since I'm doubtful they'll help us find another way to get them across. Sad to know that compatibility will likely be lost entirely.
 
Got into a very heated argument with my mom. She was on the phone with someone who was about to scam her and I told her to hang it up but she was not listening. I took the phone and turned it off and she lashed out at me. She tried to argue that there people working as "Government agents" that would help but I told her that they are scam because as soon as I heard them mentioned "Gift Cards" thats when I know its a scam. So now she and I are no longer on good terms and she doesn't want to speak to me after this. I saved her from a scam and this is the thanks I get?
 
without oversharing, just financial and personal things happening in my life. i dont think ive ever felt this depressed/sad/defeated in my life.
 
You can kinda guess what happened if you saw some of my recent posts in this topic but there’s more.

My grand dad passed away a bit ago. He had a full life and he had his kids with him so it doesn’t make me too sad in itself, but something else has made me angry.

Of course my mom and a lot of my family are grieving so I’m letting them be but my dad is actually just… awful. the other day a hose leading into the sink slid out and my mom asked for help cleaning it, and he was angry at her going like “WHAT” and he does his usual schpiel of saying he’s not angry. I actually have a recording of part of this argument but he made it about him, and he did the same thing as always of bringing up her ex from 40 years ago. (He has a list of a few topics and phrases he pulls out ad nauseam for arguments. He just wants to argue, not make any points.) My mom said that if he’s going to be like that he shouldn’t come to the funeral (and frankly I agree), but he spun it like she insulted his entire family.

I just don’t understand how somebody can be so motivated by hate. To be honest I don’t like either of my parents because of what they’ve put me through, but it’s not an excuse to act like he did. None of my other family have tried at all to reach out to or pass a message to me either, I’m not trying to make it about me but that kinda feels negligent to me.

Anyway, with my dad though, I stood up for my mom because it was really not the time. And so I asked him about the truth I’ve wondered for a long time, and I asked if he just doesn’t wanna look bad in front of me. “Well, no,” “well you do, you look like [explitives]” I can’t take this guy. I’ve been in this position of being the one to shut down arguments literally since I was a kid. He just made it about himself unprovoked. He should be ashamed of himself.
My dad doesn’t even seem to treat anyone else like a human considering he just seems to communicate in buying stuff nobody asked for and how he makes everything transactional, I think he’s only lighter on me because he looks down on me as his kid or part of his family by default (assumption), I wouldn’t be surprised if he was actually a psychopath. Why is it us man… why is it us… my mom should never have let things get to the point she did and tossed her problems on me when I was growing up but nobody I know deserves to be stuck with this guy.

I really really tried to focus, I went out and worked with turps in 90 degree weather (at the start of spring) and this is what I get, how can I not lose focus. Dear god, I actually feel like I’m 17 again. This feels like the year of negative reinforcement. I still want to focus on offline but I absolutely had to get this off my chest.
 
Ooblets released on Steam today, which I was really looking forward to, but it's just another example of a game that doesn't have acceptable accessibility features top of mind. I'm having the hardest time reading the menus and dialogue, rendering it unplayable for me. There is an increase UI setting, but the improvement after selecting it is slim and doesn't even account for all menus.

I find a lot of cute, cozy games have text that is difficult to read for those with vision impairments. It's a shame because it makes little sense (IMO) not to have more accessible games, especially in a genre like this one.
 
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I turn 30 in less then a month and the friend group I've had for the last decade is changing and my family changed a bunch this year. Everyone is aging and moving forward and im scared lmao. *the song landslide slowly starts to play in the background*

Also my friend turned into a full blown terf and yet i still miss her
 
work drama, bleh. i'm also starting to get panicky about my work situation. i turn 26 next year & get booted out of my parents' health insurance coverage, so i really need a full-time opportunity w/ benefits to come my way soon...! :( i've been looking for months and haven't really seen anything. every time i think about it, i get really nervous.
 
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