What's Bothering You?

I'm getting so freaking sick and tired of my mom invalidating my feelings and making me feel like I can't do anything right. At this point, I'm past my breaking point; I'm nearing my shatter-into-a-million-pieces point. I'm so FREAKING done.
 
I’m contemplating if I should just tell my mom I’m trans because I have a feeling she knows but I wanted to wear my pronoun pin on our trip to Disney World. I know it’s Florida but the park itself is way more trans-friendly. I don’t think I can just come out of nowhere with the pin without confusing my mom, so I don’t know what to do, lol.
 
A few days ago, I decided to come out to my mom and I texted this to her:

Welp, it seems that Shang from Mulan has successfully made a man out of me 🏳️‍⚧️

SHE DIDN'T GET THE JOKE SO NOW I HAVE TO COME UP WITH SMTH ELSE
 
Woke up at 5am cause of cramps and the same headache from last night not going away. Couldn't go back to sleep, got up at 8am to go eat food cause I got hungry. Didn't even finish the muffin, went neck to sleep after taking NSAIDS or whatever they are called.

I have been wanting to paint my nails for days now but somethin seems to come up and prevent me from doing it. Painting my nails takes time and they take literal hours to fully dry so they don't get smudged, and I seem to not be able to get the time. Other things keep popping up that I have to get to first and then I no longer have time to sit down and paint them.

Also the other day I bought a 5$ tanktop and didn't see it had a red alarm tag on it. I went throu self checkout so no one took the tag off and now I have a tanktop I can't wear cause it has the damn tag on it. I can't drive myself so now I have to wait for my parents to take me back or my sis to happen to go back even thou we were just there.
Who in their right mind puts an alarm tag on somethin so cheap😑
 
My mom is going through a sad/angry phase from her stroke. I know she's going through the different levels of grief from becoming disabled and now needing a wheelchair, but I just wish I could give her some hope. My dad is getting a chairlift put on the stairs in the house so my mom won't be house bound, but she still feels like her life is over. Shes still stuck in the hospital right now so it's hard to have hope in that place. Hopefully once she's home she will start to feel like her self again, at least partially.
 
I'm thinking of leaving a groupchat I'm in. One of my online friends invited me a week ago, but I feel like an outsider because everyone else in the group is her IRL friends and I'm just kinda there.
Plus, some of the members send a ton of really hurtful and explicit 'memes', comments, GIFs, etc. There's one person in particular who likes to tell me things like "non-binary isn't a gender" and "just pick a gender". Not to mention some... Explicit comments from them as well. And as weird as it sounds, I can't tell if they're joking/trolling or being serious half the time.
I don't wanna leave 'cause my friend and I don't talk much in DMs, nor do I wanna make her feel bad. But at the same time, there's just some people in the group who are really rude and I can't stand. The logical thing would to leave, but I feel like I can't or shouldn't.
 
It felt good getting it out of my system but now this comment has to go.
 
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I lost my left AirPod. I hope it’ll turn up soon. I can’t even use the Find My feature since it’s dead. I know it’s somewhere in the house, hopefully. I don’t remember having it when I left the house.
 
I hate how I have no idea how to be friendly to people I don't know irl. All I can do is be politely distant. When people have approached me and were friendly I didn't know what to say other than a direct answer to their question. I wasn't able to keep a conversation going or anything. I'm sure it gave off the impression that I wasn't interested in talking to them. If anyone has any tips I'd really appreciate it.
 
The smoke is getting really bad here. The air quality in Montreal has dropped significantly, and we're pretty much in the vicinity of it. It's definitely a lot easier to see the smoke now and we're advised to wear masks when we go outside. Just hope that everyone all across Canada will be safe and that the forest fires will stop eventually...

Edit: I went outside with my dog shortly after making this post, and the smoke is worse than I thought.
 
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oh my god this is why i hate processing government papers i hate how unclear and inconsistent the instructions are

like im renewing my driving permit and they tell me i need have my files verified and im like ?? i didnt need that last year and the official website never said anything like that? i was able to upload my files without problems last year and when i did it online this year it was the same process on the website, if you guys changed the rules then why didnt you reflect it on the official website? i wish i had done this days before and not waste my money and time commuting back and forth trying

also im applying for a govt ID that i have waited almost TWO YEARS for, my mom who applied months after me got her ID first, and my dad who also applied later than me got a temporary ID. I asked the office and they said there was a problem with my temporary ID and that they'd surely get back to me the next day. It has been 4 days and I haven't received a text so I'm just going to the office myself 😭
 
I have to be awake in literally less than five hours. 🥲 On a more positive note, I’m off work on Tuesday so I guess it’s not a huge deal.
 
I forgot my eyebrow pen at the house and I was too tired to do them before going to work. Now I have to work with spotty eyebrows. At least I will be done working at 2:00 PM and I’ll be able to fix them. I hope it’s just laying on the couch or whatever and I didn’t misplace it like my left Airpod.
 
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