What's Bothering You?

I don’t understand “sketchbook tours” as I’ve seen them. It seems like they’re perfect with no mistakes, when that’s literally against the point of a sketchbook. I’m impressed at those who are able to make theirs into perfect art galleries, BUT HOW!!!!!!!!! HOW THE FRICK DO YOU DO IT????? Though, I believe we should normalize messy sketchbooks with scribbled out and erased crap and lazy mediocre doodles!
 
Found out some pretty disturbing information about my biological father and stepmom last night and it’s still on my mind. I’m not sure if I’m more shocked, angry, or upset about it.
 
Do i like my new haircut or does it look like princess dianas hmmm. Maybe its cause the hairdresser lady blowdried it with a curl brush so my hairs got some volume to it
 
A raccoon killed and ate a squirrel. I didn’t know they could do that…it makes me see raccoons on a different light now wow.
 
A friend got their first tattoo and I think it looks awful (the outline is blotchy) and overall very generic design wise. Plus it clearly has no personal meaning to them whatsoever and looks like something you'd find on a well curated Pinterest board. Whilst I've not said anything to them about it, keeping my true feelings about it silent is proving hard knowing that that tattoo will be on their body for the rest of their lives and I can see them regretting it later on in life.
 
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spent £35 on the new story of seasons game and really wish i hadn't because imo it super sucks, and you can't get refunds from the eshop :/ one game that really could've done with a demo, because i would've realized pretty quickly that i didn't want it in that case. ugh.
 
I was casually talking to one of my online friends about how I thought it was odd that every time I made a post in a fun channel on a Discord server, some people wouldn't respond for over a day - They replied with "maybe there's certain people they don't like, and you're one of them". I got pretty upset hearing that, then they said "I meant that in the nicest way possible" and "please don't be offended".
I don't even know why I got so upset, I knew they weren't trying to be rude about it. But I just wish they'd apologize instead of saying things like "I wish I could sew my mouth shut so I wouldn't be able to speak and hurt the ones close to me" (then delete the messages afterwards and ask if I could just "forget about the whole thing"). I don't know what to do about them...
 
I ****ing suck at bomb battles, lol. I play like I should have 50 BR. But everything else? I’m good at those. I should just drop out of those every time they appear.
 
I lost my consecutive daily streak in my Duolingo language learning app because I assumed (incorrectly) without internet for a week that there was no way to save it. I reached over 900 days straight… could’ve been 1000. Alas.
Also, it’s so dang hot. Why is summer so painfully hot here? I worry about the homeless population in this 103 F / 39 C degree weather.
 
Very minor bother, but my back hurts. Don't know if it's trapped gas or what. Regardless, I'm sitting with good posture now and drank lots of water, and I also took some Tums and Advil. I hope the pain goes away soon.
 
My job exam tomorrow. I didn't prepare as much as I would've liked due to my babysitting schedule. What make this even more stressful is that I took this exam before in 2019, but failed it.

I should focus on the positive that it's only going to be one hour of hell.😄😅😭
 
A raccoon killed and ate a squirrel. I didn’t know they could do that…it makes me see raccoons on a different light now wow.
Raccoons are omnivores so they eat meat and greens. They normally don't eat such big game unless their system has been interrupted/their original sources are scarce. At the end of the day, they have to eat to live. Just like the birds and rabbits that try to eat my vegetable gardens. I wouldn't mind if they actually ate one whole piece of fruit/vegetable, but they graze on every single piece and it makes it all where I can't salvage what I had grown lol. It's such a pain.
 
I don’t understand “sketchbook tours” as I’ve seen them. It seems like they’re perfect with no mistakes, when that’s literally against the point of a sketchbook. I’m impressed at those who are able to make theirs into perfect art galleries, BUT HOW!!!!!!!!! HOW THE FRICK DO YOU DO IT????? Though, I believe we should normalize messy sketchbooks with scribbled out and erased crap and lazy mediocre doodles!
I won't even lie sometimes it's really satisfying to just scribble down ideas on paper. I hate when art influencers perpetuate the idea that all art needs to be perfect and look stunning. not it doesn't, having art that is scribbly and messy shows that you're willing to make mistakes and grow as an artist. having everything be perfect is pretty boring anyways, I love looking back at my older mediocre sketches and drawings bc they often have funny backstories. 😄




It's no surprise to me to wake up feeling unwell, it's something I've dealt with for a long time. but waking up today I really just don't feel well. I'm wondering if it has something to do with the air quality, it's really bad today and my weather app is telling me to basically avoid going outside. hopefully after an hour or so I'll feel a little better, I have some things I'd like to get done around the house today.
 
I won't even lie sometimes it's really satisfying to just scribble down ideas on paper. I hate when art influencers perpetuate the idea that all art needs to be perfect and look stunning. not it doesn't, having art that is scribbly and messy shows that you're willing to make mistakes and grow as an artist. having everything be perfect is pretty boring anyways, I love looking back at my older mediocre sketches and drawings bc they often have funny backstories. 😄
Right? I just scribbled down some character design ideas and notes at 3 AM the other night and I’m really proud of what I made!
 
Raccoons are omnivores so they eat meat and greens. They normally don't eat such big game unless their system has been interrupted/their original sources are scarce. At the end of the day, they have to eat to live. Just like the birds and rabbits that try to eat my vegetable gardens. I wouldn't mind if they actually ate one whole piece of fruit/vegetable, but they graze on every single piece and it makes it all where I can't salvage what I had grown lol. It's such a pain.
Oh I know...I just kind of shocked by it.
 
My job exam tomorrow. I didn't prepare as much as I would've liked due to my babysitting schedule. What make this even more stressful is that I took this exam before in 2019, but failed it.

I should focus on the positive that it's only going to be one hour of hell.😄😅😭
Nevermind. I didn’t stand a chance. The what-if customer service section stumped me good. You can’t actually prepare for those situations unless you’ve been in a similar situation. Which, I haven’t because I never had a customer service job.🙃
 
i really wanna talk to some of my old friends again but i'm kinda scared to do so. i don't wanna make things awkward!
 
The person who used to be my favorite person said some really nasty, transphobic things about me and refused to use my new name. On top of that he’s just been treating me like ****. I think I might have to end things between us, which sucks, but it’s for the best. Really sad when he’s the one who wanted this in the first place. Oh well.
 
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