What's Bothering You?

I can’t find my Airpods case, even with the “Find my” feature. I’m going to buy a generic pair from the local gas station until I find them. I just hope the rubber stuff stays in my ear because my ears can’t seem to hold them in. 🙄
 
My family is talking about how there might be a gay cousin and discussing who's one.
They say they'll "accept" who is but you can't be too sure.
Hearing them talk has me filled with anxiety and trying very hard to contain myself and praying they don't suspect anything.
 
barely Christmas day and I'm already feeling so stressed and overwhelmed and overstimulated. somehow all my holiday spirit just kinda... disappeared. I wish the holiday season was over so my life could return to normal.
 
It feels so weird for me to actually have someone that genuinely loves and cares for me. 🥹
 
Someone keeps lighting illegal fireworks. I’m afraid that they’re going to give Dad flashbacks of the incident. If I could find those people I would yell at them for being selfish and tacky.
 
its just so hard seeing my grandparents get old. They've always been so supportive of me and my family. My grandma is in the early stages of dementia...and it's so devastating to see. I just fear the day that one of them pass away.
 
I'm at work and I wish I could go get something to eat bc I didn't have time to eat this morning, but the roads driving over here were already pretty bad (idk for sure but there may still be a level 1 warning here, my car wanted to do some serious drifts and slips on the way here) so I either have to go drive in the nasty weather again or wait til I get home to eat 🥲


edit: I said screw it and just drove to get lunch anyways. snowy roads are no match for a native Ohioan lol
 
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I'm so irritated rn cause I have no idea what to do.

so I switched my cats' litter box (in my room) to wood pellets recently because it's way cheaper than clay litter and it's environmentally safe and biodegradable. however one of my cats absolutely refuses to use it. she just won't and I don't know why. she does fine with clay litter as long as it's cleaned frequently, but I really don't like using clay anymore bc it's not environmentally safe and it's expensive. I've been having to boot her out of my room at night bc if she's in my room with the wood pellet litter she will simply poop on my bathroom floor (and it's extremely difficult to pick up bc atm she's dealing with some health issues which makes her stool really runny and gross). I'm so tired of dealing with it but I would really really prefer to not go back to clay litter. I'm hoping to convert all the litter boxes in the house to wood pellets but i can't do that if one of my cats refuses to use it.

maybe if there's a litter out there that closely resembles clay but it's environmentally safe and biodegradable, as well as affordable (we have six cats so we go through a lot of litter), then I could start using that. but as of right now I just don't know what to do and it's incredibly frustrating.

only other option would be to re-home the cat and I don't want to have to do that bc she's very close/connected to me and if she was suddenly put in a new home she would probably be terrified/depressed. I just don't know what to do anymore.
 
Nothings more fun that catching a cold on Christmas day and the outside being very cold
 
This Christmas would've been better if the weather was warmer and not so cold I'm forced to sleep in the living room. I'm not even getting enough sleep. I spent half the day wishing I could just go sleep in my room.
 
I'm not even gonna lie the more years that go by the less I actually want to celebrate the holiday season. today was pretty underwhelming considering how much people like to hype up Christmas time. I'm just glad it's almost over. I want everything to go back to normal.

also it's been absolutely freezing the last few days, I was miserable going into work today bc it was only abt 8°F all day and despite being bundled up I was froze basically the entire day. and I have to work again tomorrow, when it'll only be about 9-12°F. I wish I could just stay home and stay warm tomorrow. I've been shivering so much it's making my back hurt.
 
Went to the optometrist today; I gotta go see a neuro-ophthalmologist again 😓 I went to one 5 years ago and he told me that I had to get some scan done but I ended up just... not doing that.
Basically my optic nerves in one eye are puffy; the pressure is off the charts. So I gotta find out why. Luckily I don't have any other symptoms that would point to a brain tumor... but who knows 😵‍💫

Really hoping it's something that can just be cleared up with medication and not surgery or a lumbar puncture *shivers*
spine stuff freaks me out

On the bright side I'm getting new glasses and will be trying out daily contacts so thats cool
 
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I really hate the fact that my parents know that I have some sort of anxiety disorder, but they choose to do absolutely nothing about it. However, the second my brother showed symptoms of ADHD, they dropped everything to get him tested, and then accommodations and medication. To be fair, I’m not saying that he shouldn’t have what he needs, or that anyone who’s neurodivergent should have to deal with not having that, I’m just frustrated at my parents’ attitude towards my brother. This kid could probably get away with murder. If he does something it’s “not his fault, he’s young, and he has ADHD,” but if I do something small, I get a two-hour long lecture complete with yelling and a lot of empty threats. I feel so bad that I’m getting so upset about this, especially since today’s my brother’s birthday, and he’s a sweet kid at heart. I just don’t think this is fair.
 
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