What's Bothering You?

I thought that “Where is Gnome” event was a task requiring New Horizons because I saw pictures of the game. I wasn’t reading closely enough and just found out an hour ago you literally just have to post captions. I missed out on that event because I wasn’t paying attention to the rules.
 
I was supposed to return to uni next week but something went wrong and now idk if I can even take any classes. Feeling helpless. Hope everything sorts itself out somehow...
 
losing my mind over duty work. i really want to be decked at the operating room but things just keep on preventing me from that and i keep on getting assigned to the wards 🥲 is this a sign telling me i'm never meant to be a surgeon...............
 
I saw a homeless lady with no shoes on and some seriously messed up feet so I offered her my sandals. She tried them on and they were way too big for her feet, like 4 sizes too big so she had to give them back. I had to put them back on after she had her feet in them as to not offend her but I think imma throw them out now lmao.
 
Is it bad that I’m kind of relieved that they didn’t call me in for the interview? Last night I had trouble sleeping because I kept going over possible interview questions.
 
bad sinus headache again, I really want to do some stuff tonight (including watching the TBT gaming livestream at 10pm) but more so I just want to go to bed. going to sleep is one of the few things that can for sure get rid of a headache for me. I just hate going to bed so early.
 
Dearest random person on the internet who added American Idiot by Green Day to a Spotify sleep songs playlist, immediately following Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 21… I hope karma gets you back at 3:04 A.M. sometime soon.
 
I’m tired of having a messy social life. I’m too quiet to meet people in person, so I exclusively reach out online. The friendships always start out great. We talk at least once a day and the conversations are deep and not superficial. Then I either forget to send messages or they quit reaching out themselves. If the former happens I feel guilty and either send yet another apology, act like nothing happened in my response, or ghost them because I find it too awkward. If it’s the latter then I either desperately reach out to no avail or I hear back after weeks or months (this isn’t their fault of course. Life happens).

For the times where it’s my responsibility I have gotten somewhat better. Thanks to my ADHD medication I find it easier to keep track of everyone I message. That fear of another awkward apology still happens though.

I guess I just wish this cycle would end because it’s so predictable. I wish keeping online friends was easier. If anyone has advice on this I would appreciate it.
 
Istg if one of them says some passive-agressive comment about how I'm not doing enough work in my department (again, which I am doing alot) at the meeting today...
 
I haven't been here consistently since before I came out as nb/trans and since atm I'm here by myself I feel really uncomfortable lol 😶
 
Woke up this morning with a nosebleed. Then I coughed out blood in the sink. I didn't know if I was gonna throw up or faint. Great start to my morning. :,)
 
my anxiety is god awful rn and I know I haven't taken my meds yet today (and won't be able to til I get home) but like this is a ridiculous level of anxiety lol
 
My anxiety is a bit high right now but I don’t have anything going on, so I should be able to calm down.
 
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