What's Bothering You?

I was trying to get to know a person better that I really liked, and at first I thought she liked me, too. I don’t wanna be the only one to try and keep the friendship alive though, so I thought I‘ll wait and see whether she will text me this week. She hasn’t done it so far.

At work people are assuming I can take calls, but I really can’t. It’s not that I am scared of the call itself, but I just don’t have enough knowledge yet to answer people‘s questions.
 
the job opportunity I talked abt last week is out the window bc they were only hiring a position on Monday from 9am to 3pm with no semi-long breaks (which I can't do 1. because autism and 2. I have a dog and my disabled mom to take care of) so uhhhhhh yeah 🙃


guess all I can do for now is go back to the craft store I applied at a while ago and see if they have any hours available for me to work.
 
I feel so down, depressed and demotivated lately. I cried myself to sleep last night, and it's been a very long time since I've done that. I'm sick of living like this. I want some sense of normality back. I want my old life back.
 
i cant wait to have some space. im really sad, but i know its for the best and should have happened a while ago. i know ill be able to live and be myself and im so happy for that but im sad about letting go of the possibility that things will get better. i know i cant control anyone elses behavior but i really thought things would improve. theyve been going well for the most part, but of course it always goes back to the same thing again. i shouldve called somebody but i never do despite the warnings. idk why i cant love and protect myself more. needed to keep taking melatonin throughout the night just to stay asleep and of course in my dreams everything is wonderful. now its time to start another work week in this house with you. i love you. i hate this. i dont understand why life has to be this way. i know i deserve better though. i just feel really sad
 
guess all I can do for now is go back to the craft store I applied at a while ago and see if they have any hours available for me to work.
update on this, I went to the craft store and they are, in fact, still hiring, so I gave the manager my name and number so when the hiring manager gets there she can give me a call. really hoping that they hire me, I'm only looking for part-time hours so even if I can only work like 10-14 hours per week that's better than not working at all.
 
my life's absolutely spiraling out of control. I don't know what to do anymore things keep happening and tbh I'm terrified, like genuinely scared. I didn't know how good I had it
 
Update on the DPD crap. Apparently I was supposed to pay cause it was a more expensive/larger package... I remember getting a similar before when I ordered a coat and a jacket but I don't believe that they were *that* expensive anyway, whereas the other package went through. Sigh I'll pay I just want my stuff 😔
 
I feel so down, depressed and demotivated lately. I cried myself to sleep last night, and it's been a very long time since I've done that. I'm sick of living like this. I want some sense of normality back. I want my old life back.
Hope things get better for you over there. I also have been demotivated and feeling like this so I want you to know you're not alone. Take some time to breathe and fall apart a little so you can heal :)
I glanced at an old man on the street and he yelled “say one word to me and I’ll hit you.” As I walked away he called me a slur. This isn’t even the first time I’ve been called that word this week. A few days ago I was standing by a wall and a guy in his thirties called me the same thing. Homophobia really is everywhere.
why can't people keep their thoughts to themselves instead of insulting a very swag person like you? smh the fact that people can't act mature just because they see someone that isn't like them makes me question humanity. you deserve better :>
 
I can’t find my drawing pen. And I didn’t show up to class yesterday because of my migraine and didn’t call in so idk if I’m going to get into trouble. Also didn’t eat breakfast this morning.
 
really difficult day today and i don’t know if i can take having the two jobs i have right now any longer haha. sounds kind of dumb to consider leaving one of them (both in the line of work i want to be doing) to work at a cafe or as a server, but i’m really just not making enough money between the two of them to justify working every single day of the week. i’m tired.
 
really difficult day today and i don’t know if i can take having the two jobs i have right now any longer haha. sounds kind of dumb to consider leaving one of them (both in the line of work i want to be doing) to work at a cafe or as a server, but i’m really just not making enough money between the two of them to justify working every single day of the week. i’m tired.
A few years back I stepped up in a position for a job I had. It gave me a lot more hours, pay, and the time was perfect. I'd get up admittedly super early, which kind of stinks, but would also get off between 1-3PM. It left me with a lot of hours in the day to fill so I got 3 other jobs.

I made a lot of $ doing that, but honestly those two years were a blur because of the amount of work I was putting in. I don't know if I would ever do that again. I can totally relate to what you're saying. Maybe you should consider stepping down from one of the jobs for a bit to recharge? That's what I had to do with a few of mine.
 
people really out here thinking that executive dysfunction is simply another word for laziness, but I've been pacing the house for like an hour now because I know I need to eat something but my exec dysfunction is so horrible today that my mind just won't let me eat :,,,,,)
 
I’m too harsh on myself when it comes to foreign languages. I got a 98 on my final and yet there’s still this part of my mind that thinks I’m bad at it. Some of the reason why I feel this way is because Japanese has so many components to keep track of. It’s also because I keep watching people on YouTube who have near perfect speaking and reading skills. I need to find a way to focus purely on my own progress. If I do that I could notice my skills improving without constantly comparing myself to people who have spent over a decade on the language.
 
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