What's Bothering You?

tbh I hate school so much but I know I'll make more money if I go into a graduate program. It's getting to that time where I have to decide, but I'm just so tired and I don't know what to do. It's difficult being the first one in your entire family to graduate uni. I can't get advice from them.
 
The trauma from my treatment during and after that relationship has come back. I’d take a walk to lessen my anxiety, but it’s 99 degrees and my toe still hurts.

I know that person doesn’t deserve a second of my energy. It’s just painful to know that I’m the bad guy in their eyes and that they’re apathetic to what they did to me. I just want a genuine apology and my old personality back. Of course I’ll never get those things.
 
I think I’ve conditioned myself to fall asleep whenever I read. I can only manage a couple of chapters now before I get really drowsy 😢
 
My mom was lecturing me about stupid things such as what kind of photos I should or shouldn’t send to people close to me. A whole photo album got shared to my family and my mom criticizes me for sending “bad” and “unflattering” photos and that it’s the end of the world. Like, who are you to judge if I send a photo of a silly double chin 🙄
 
I went to a baby shower today, that was presented to me like it was going to be a safe event being mindful of covid restrictions still in effect. Instead it was completely not, they just had everyone sitting together at one big table no separation amongst households. I felt so unsafe the entire time, I was hesitant about going and I feel regret for giving in to pressure to go.

I know that in all likelihood it's going to turn out fine but I'm home now and still feeling sort of uncomfortable about the whole thing. I honestly don't know how I'm supposed to go back to normal life when I'm terrified of being a carrier and unknowingly infecting someone.
 
Woke-up with sunburn, bloodied toes, and the annoying reminder that one of my shoes is damaged beyond repair.

Whatever you're imagining in your head is far more exciting than what really happened.
 
They're waiting way too long to let the next age groups on here for the jab tbh, it's like they always get stuck on some no matter how many people there actually are born this or that year. :(
 
The new variation(s) of Covid are starting to bring my panic attacks back.. not the best timing, as it's also the 3rd trimester of my pregnancy U.U
 
My bad stomachaches are accompanied by my absolutely terrible migraine.
All I just want to do is lie down all day. I feel sick and I don’t feel like eating.
 
Okay now they messed up real bad... They expect me to be home 8-5, thinks I'm a company and aside from that name mess-up they won't allow me to change pick-up method. Sigh.
 
xara said:
mom’s back at the hospital again. :/
Click to expand...
im so sorry xara. 🖤 sending you virtual hugs. i hope she recovers quickly and that you are okay. feel free to pm me if you ever want to talk



cant sleep bc im anxious for seeing my partners family this weekend for more than a few reasons, but i dont want to complain. it would be great if they could just be nice to me though. no matter what, i need to be supportive and not so self focused; not every weekend has to be something i want to do.

also now that weve decided we want to move soon, i am so ready to go lol get me outta here. i have that last week of work feeling even though i have about two more months most likely
 
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