What's Bothering You?

Suguri said:
What happened? I don't think you're horrible.
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I’m just so painfully tactless and I don’t know how to communicate. I feel like I say things without thinking sometimes. I don’t mean any harm but I find things too funny and then worry that’s upset people afterwards. I don’t know when to be serious, and I don’t notice people are upset until it’s too late. I’m just clueless and I hate it 😭
 
Edit: All good now. But... I guess I'm still miffed with how my ceremony went. It basically sapped me of all my energy because I was so emotional, so I stayed in bed and did nothing for the rest of the day. I didn't even want to eat, even though I had barely eaten. I'm just conflicted with some emotions, I guess. Definitely need to sleep it off.
 
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Doo said:
I’m just so painfully tactless and I don’t know how to communicate. I feel like I say things without thinking sometimes. I don’t mean any harm but I find things too funny and then worry that’s upset people afterwards. I don’t know when to be serious, and I don’t notice people are upset until it’s too late. I’m just clueless and I hate it 😭
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I can relate to situations like this. My communication skills are a dumpster fire.
 
Doo said:
How do I always manage to be horrible to people? I’m genuinely so sorry to all of you
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this has actually been me lately, I've been acting more arrogant and insensitive and not mindful since I started dealing with mania again. and it sucks because obviously it's not intentional and I'm/you're just doing my/your best, but people always want to assume things and take it personally instead of saying something in the moment to get clarification. 🥲



I feel like I've been a buzzkill lately, a broken record. like I have this innate desire to isolate myself (which is ironic because I already feel very isolated) because I don't want to bring down the people around me. I don't even actually want to do that, but I also don't want to make people around me feel worse because I'm not exactly a positive and cheery person right now. life is very difficult and stressful for me right now, and it's hard to radiate positive energy when there are so many awful draining things happening around me every single day. I'm just exhausted, I'm trying to survive and protect my sanity (I've already had a mental breakdown a few times in the last two weeks).

maybe I need to leave this forum for a bit longer, at least a semi-hiatus where I don't post/talk much, if at all.
 
I feel like everything I do is wrong, or that I always mess something up. For starters, I've had some of my posts removed within the past few days; I'm not mad about it, but it's more like I'm disappointed in myself for not being careful. I'm honestly kind of scared to post again in case I say something wrong and get in trouble for it, but I'm probably overthinking this.

Even with the posts that aren't necessarily rule-breaking, I've been worrying a lot that some users find me annoying, because I definitely can be. Even though it's inevitable and I can't logically have every single person like me, it's still something that makes me anxious. ("Have I been posting too often in this thread? Do people think I'm annoying when I talk about this topic a lot?")

I can't say for sure, but I think my current mental state has been affecting how I think and act. I'm significantly more pessimistic and careless, and I think it shows in what I post. I'm obviously not going to be inactive, but I honestly believe I'm better off not posting (or at least a lot less) until I'm better. I don't want to risk saying something stupid, annoying, or wrong here.

Edit: I understand that I made a mistake, so I'm going to learn from it instead of beating myself up for it. I just gotta be gentle with myself. 💜 I'm not really having a good day, so I'm a little on edge right now.
 
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ZeldaCrossing64 said:
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Hey, you're not annoying at all. You're still a great friend to me and I still enjoy every interaction with you. About your posts getting removed, I've had something similar happen to me a few times on another website when I was young. I was more irritated than disappointed in myself, but either way I learned something from this experience. Mod alerts (assuming you got one) and stuff like that are intended for people to learn from their mistakes so they can participate in the website safely, and they shouldn't let you down, even though it's hard to not avoid that feeling. I don't think TBT would be the same without you, so please don't go too hard on yourself just because you got alerted a few times. You gotta believe! 💜
 
Very silly and minor thing; sorry for being a broken record again.

I’m bummed about not getting that many shinies so far. I really was hoping to get to the cap. I’m having fun shiny hunting and that is what is most important and I shouldn’t feel pressure, but I really was hoping to get more points since a good amount of sessions I signed up for, I didn’t get the spot since the need to balance teams and make sure everyone gets a chance. I can’t help feeling a bit jealous of everyone who had been able to find a lot. I’m really happy for everyone too at the same time since I am sure everyone was frustrated too at some point with their luck. I really wish I had the shiny charm in either Pokemon Arceus or Violet; maybe I’d have had better luck then, but I just got Pokemon Violet and I didn’t want to rush (don’t think I’d have enough time anyways between my sessions).

Also feeling a bit of burnout and fatigue. I’m going to miss the event but at the same time I am looking forward to having time to work on my second island (might reset since I haven’t touched it in awhile), and progressing in Pokemon Violet (once I get the team I want to beat the game with).

Also bummed about my amiibo cards and that each pack only had three cards; only got one new card out of the cards i got from three packs.

And still feeling butt hurt about a couple things — my best friend, something that happened a year or two ago. I’m glad I made friends that totally get why I’d need to take a hiatus or keep to myself to take care of mental health or personal problems or that when they say they’re busy, I’m the type to give them space rather bother them, understand that I’m not good at socializing or day to day idle chit chat. :/ I want to move on and let things go but when told I’m an incompatible friend, it’s hard to let it go. i get so anxious now and paranoid when I need to take mental health breaks and don’t post or chat for awhile, here, and cat twitter.
 
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My grandparents are bringing their dog over again tomorrow. This may not seem like a big deal to you guys, considering some of you probably like dogs (and I respect that), but I am just really uncomfortable around them when they are clingy, energetic, etc. At least it's only one day this time, rather than the three long-ass weeks that happened from May 2nd to May 23rd, but the thought of them leaving their dog with us regularly now is honestly frustrating as hell.

Plus, I do feel like my dad and my brother are very insensitive to the fact about me being uncomfortable around dogs. Back on April 30th, my dad lectured me for expressing mild distress about the aforementioned three-week visit. And my brother tries to get dogs (yes, this has been a thing for years and with a dog we one owned) spun up and tell them to "get" (go after) me. I get that they love dogs, but is it too much for them to at least be a little considerate to the matter? I am NOT saying my dad and my brother are bad people, but due to how much I clash with them, it is a massive struggle to for me to see things from their perspectives and vice-versa. I am probably just gonna hide in my room most of the day tomorrow, then.

This is one of the many reasons why I am looking forward to eventually getting my own place: I can set my own rules, boundaries, etc., and I can make my environment as comfortable and ideal for me as possible. I won't have to deal with other people's problems like this. I am not saying I want to cut off my dad and my brother, but I do believe it will do us all some good once we are all living separately.
 
I have to go to dinner with my grandma and she's going to deadname me the whole time and emphasize feminine pronouns, so fun. Also, last time we had dinner the entire conversation topic was about how trans are gross and she made a joke about the whole thing. It felt almost targeted, like she knew? Fun.
 
So the issues with my bloods continue. I spoke with Rheumatology last week and they said they would probably issue some steroids as those would help with my flare up and increase my bloods. However, there is a GP at my Surgery who keeps phoning and getting other members of staff to phone me on her behalf to find out what’s going on. I have never even met this GP. I’ve had 2 phone calls again today, asking why I didn’t phone to find out about my bloods. Firstly, she never asked me to phone my GP surgery, she said deal with Rheumatology. Secondly, I was to wait until a prescription was issued before anymore bloods were taken. This afternoon, someone from my surgery rang me telling me I had to come back in for more bloods. I tried to explain Rheumatology didn’t request anymore bloods now. I took the appointment but didn’t see the point. A few hours later, this GP was back on the phone to discuss it with me. Eventually, she decided to cancel the blood test. Now, she is emailing my Rheumatology Nurse, even though I have already phoned them! I didn’t mind the GP phoning the very first time as if they don’t know the situation, I usually get a courtesy call to let me know then when I explain I attend Rheumatology they are happy to let them deal with it. I feel as if she is trying to go above their heads, as she knows nothing about my conditions and how they are treated! She even admitted she had never even heard of one of my medications!
 
i failed my driver’s test AGAIN (for the second time)

i know how to drive but i get anxious during tests and when the instructor gets into the car so i make stupid mistakes. embarrassing because im almost 19 and i don’t have an actual drivers license + my learners permit expires in september. i’m going to retest next week on my birthday, keep me in your thoughts ya’ll 😔
 
Beanz said:
i failed my driver’s test AGAIN (for the second time)

i know how to drive but i get anxious during tests and when the instructor gets into the car so i make stupid mistakes. embarrassing because im almost 19 and i don’t have an actual drivers license + my learners permit expires in september. i’m going to retest next week on my birthday, keep me in your thoughts ya’ll 😔
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I didn't get my license until I was 21 because I was not feeling confident at all before then. heck, I was still incredibly nervous taking the test. I know you will be able to do it when the time is right. 💕
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themysterybidder said:
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been keeping you in my thoughts Jenny 🫂💜
 
I was helping my uncle move some boxes and gardening stuff.

Either it was too hot outside or I have no cardio anymore. A few years ago I would physically help set up events at the local fairgrounds and could endure for hours. After a few minutes today of helping my uncle I felt like falling over. I needed to go inside his house and grab water twice.

I'm going to take it as a lesson that I need to incorporate some form of exercise back into my life. Dealing with depression made me quite sedentary. (While I am doing better these days), it felt like my body was not functioning.

I'm a little sad about it. But I also know I can better myself and get these things back. hopefully :')
 
My social life, mainly. It doesn't help that I'm socially awkward and anxious, so it's hard to make friends or even talk to some of my colleagues.

Oh, and my job. It's been getting on my nerves, (I work in retail), we keep letting these bizarre customers stay and we get complaints about them, as well as management pushing me to always be the one at the cash register. Their argument is I'm good at getting people signed up for our membership programs, but it takes away my ability to help out on the floor.
 
I got logged out of TV Tropes for no reason at all, even though I've only had the account for 3 months, and I can't reset my password. Now it's no longer my favorite trope-browsing website anymore. I don't feel like even visiting the website without an account, because of this. I just go to a similar, but different enough trope-browsing website instead from now on, called, "All the Tropes", but I'm not making an account, in case it's going to log me out months later, and I forget the password again.

On another note, I'm kind of excited, yet anxious at the same time, as I want to be on camera for the first time while participating my women's group meeting via Zoom, even though it's not required, because I'm camera-shy. Due to this, I have some kind of stage fright, while not being actually on a stage, but I want my friends to see me on camera via Zoom.
I can't attend my usual women's group meeting at a friend's house on Monday nights like I always do, because my mom has a stomach bug.
 
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