What's Bothering You?

I hate when my insurance company forces me to get my medication delivered... and now I will be running out by the time they even ship it. It is a new one too. I can't afford to miss my doses, I have to be consistant with it in order for myself to fully adjust to it.
It JUST shipped but now they're telling me it's going to arrive at a later date than they told me. I've had to decrease my current dose from 2 pills to 1 just to last but I am down to my last one. I tried calling my doctor to see if he can send an emergency perscription to my local pharmacy but oh, of course, his office won't even answer. I'm just so frustrated with this right now.
 
I’m on day 3 of continuous headaches and have had 3 migraines in 60ish hours. Monday evening, Tuesday night and Wednesday morning. Hard to tell whether they are seasonal allergy type (least likely), hormonal (I have endometriosis and get migraines sometimes when my hormone levels drop back doen), or if they’re cervical from my neck. All I know is, it’s getting rather annoying going on this long.
 
I had that weird lump in my throat come back out of no where while driving and then I barfed all over myself. I didn't even get any nausea, just a feeling of something lodged in my throat. This better not continue cause there's no way to make it stop. It's just anxiety induced
 
i’ve been trying not to wait for my friend and even silenced my phone, yet i can’t help by the end of the day or when I look at phone think for a second about him and about when i’ll hear from him again. i miss talking to him. i know he’s busy but even though I am giving him space and wait for him to reply, i feel like he’s pushing me further away. i mean i know why, but why can’t we still talk and be friends even though he has a gf?

I’m so frustrated with myself and wish I was someone else and/or that we never met
 
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I'm back to complain. I woke up and puked my brains out and now I'm here at my mom's physio appointment. It's weird cause I don't feel sick. My uterus feels off though so hopefully that organ of mine is doing well. I have to lift my mom's almost full weight to get her into her wheelchair and it's just too much today. My mom gets hysterical easily so I was pretending I'm feeling fine but she can sense something is off. I was literally like "I feel great, don't even worry lmao". Also I wiped yesterday's barf off my steering wheel but it still smells in my car. I think the pressure of taking care of my mom is getting to me which is terrible to even say.
 
Maybe I should avoid downloading heavily advertised games. They are cash grabs that like to steal money from people.

I know Homescapes already does this. Yeah, they are notorious for false advertising, but they guilt you into buying their coins if your box is full.
 
My appointment being cancelled earlier this week has mattered subtly. Dunno. Just needed to be able to get things out face-to-face.

I miss playing Rev2. I tried playing it again and got so overwhelmed. Not just by the game but memories. The guy who gaslit me years ago, then (not related to the game, but tangentially, losing friends) the guy I cut out. It’s complicated. It’s not something to write out in a public post.

It’s not nice having tangible evidence of my health going down, not being able to play that game right. But hey. Maybe that’ll be better some day. My dust allergy flaring up has changed my life and nobody is helping it.

I found the link to an Australian fighting game server which is great but I feel too emotionally overwhelmed to join right now. I even tried playing Strive (which is way more basic) with the bestie and got overwhelmed and I dunno. I’m in a mood where I desperately wanna play these games but I feel stupid doing it. They were formative for me, I love them, but man.

Also, god, it highlights how this country makes me feel isolated. A “dead” game in the USA would be absolutely thriving here. I’m so bored here. I wish it were only games I was complaining about, but in saying this every hobby here feels so dead.
 
it’s kinda petty but it sucks when you’ve been posting abt how excited you are for ur bday yet when the day comes no one is in sight to wish u a happy bday :,,) not even the ones you considered closest to you ! i wish i wasn’t so sensitive and i hate that i get sad abt this every year
 
when ur company buys u donuts they never get filled ones. like it’s always glazed, chocolate frosted, or pink sprinkle. where’s the bavarian cream? jelly donut? it’s like, thx for the gesture but i’m tired of the monotony
 
Update: I went to the doctor and he told me it's definitely just anxiety and to come back in 3 months if it doesn't go away and he will up my ocd meds. I'm really hoping he's right. I asked him for a blood test to check some stuff cause I'm on cholesterol meds and he declined. If the symptoms continue I'll just get a second opinion.

Also thank you to anyone who has hugged any of my posts, I appreciate yall listen to my rambles
 
I’m anxious about the Zine tarot set I had ordered. They didn’t give me a tracking number so no way to know when it comes. I know they shipped it since i talked to them and they had found my order got missed. i should’ve asked them when i should expect it to arrive.

Had a dream about my ex again and it just is weighing my mood down. started thinking about my friend and what i asked him that he never gave me a real answer to (just his opinion on something in a game on how i decorated it).

Maybe eating something later will help; i had a snack but not a meal. My dad was using the microwave to reheat his coffee and I hate how the hazelnut smells and i really don’t want to use the microwave after he used it for his coffee). I don’t like to go downstairs much when my dad is home anyways or eat downstairs. Also, his and my mom’s ringtones on an app or phone is the same as the whatsapp sound i have for my friend :/.
 
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