What's Bothering You?

Hate myself for being clumsy all the time (im fed up with it), I spilled something hot on my hands earlier, but i cleaned it up.

After writing that vent, i feel better now
 
I gotta stop doom scrolling on Facebook, it just makes me angry. Latest thing I saw was a post saying "stop blaming your parents for how you turned out. You're grown now. The mistakes are your own. Grow up."

Oh yeah?? How else do I explain my crippling anxiety, trauma responses, lack of emotional intelligence other than being in an abusive household? Yeah that's what I thought boomers lmao
you dont just automatically unlearn all the pain and trauma you dealt with from your parents. it would be amazing if we could, but that's not how it works. the way that's worded above makes the person sound like they're basically saying younger people today like being depressed and don't want to take responsibility (which is ironic bc it seems like a lot of Gen X/Boomers themselves hate taking responsibility for stuff they did wrong).

it's unbelievable how easy it is to say stuff like that, which has no substance at all, and people will just be like "yeah exactly!" they're disgraceful.

edit: also just realized, "the mistakes are your own"??? so basically parents are the most perfect and genuine people and kids are just brats. that's some fine logic there





I was having really bad anxiety last night for some reason, and I'm kinda feeling it this morning so hopefully it stops soon. there are also some things that are really bothering me but I won't mention it here, luckily I have an appy with my therapist at 10 so I can talk to her abt it.
 
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They take our phones at school now, So now I can't talk to my s/o, we live in different states so we can only talk on the phone. It sucked and I wish they wouldn't take our phones, also I got my knee problems where my knee can go to the side whenever it pleases. What will they do if I'm in the bathroom and can't get help?
 
adopting another cat has not gone well, and unfortunately i don’t think i’ll be able to keep her. she is the sweetest angel on the planet, and i adore her so much, but my first cat will not stop terrorizing her. we’ve gone from hissing and growling to my first cat pouncing at and chasing my new cat around every single time she sees her. my mom’s injured herself trying to keep them separate, and no one is sleeping. i’ve barely eaten since we brought her home, and i am physically unwell. i haven’t had anxiety attacks so intense since i was 14! things have been so so bad and i’m devastated. i feel so guilty. my poor cats.
I had cats like that. Is one a male? They are sometimes like that. But you can cut down on that by giving them more stimulation. Are you able to take the aggressor cat outside? You can get them a harness/leash. Sometimes being cooped up in a small building where neither of them have enough room to roam freely can do that. So giving them outdoor time can sometimes help. Or stimulating them with toys and the such so they can get rid of that extra pent up energy so it doesn't end up coming out in the form of anger on your new cat.

Sorry to hear this Xara, I hope it works out for you!
 
adopting another cat has not gone well, and unfortunately i don’t think i’ll be able to keep her. she is the sweetest angel on the planet, and i adore her so much, but my first cat will not stop terrorizing her. we’ve gone from hissing and growling to my first cat pouncing at and chasing my new cat around every single time she sees her. my mom’s injured herself trying to keep them separate, and no one is sleeping. i’ve barely eaten since we brought her home, and i am physically unwell. i haven’t had anxiety attacks so intense since i was 14! things have been so so bad and i’m devastated. i feel so guilty. my poor cats.
idk if this is too late or not, but have you tried the Jackson Galaxy method of introducing cats? I only have one cat but when I first adopted her I did this to introduce her to my dogs. Her fosters told me she was afraid of dogs when I first got her, but after doing this she is now obsessed with the both of them. It might be worth a shot if you still have her, but it can take some time. I think my cat stayed in my room about a month and a half before she was allowed out in the rest of the house.
 
The jehovahs witnesses keep coming back to my door. They loved knocking on all the doors of our poor ass neighbourhood. I asked her for proof of jesus and the lady tried, but I told her I wasn't conviced. She was like "I'll be back with proof Noah, you'll see". You keep on trying Miriam.
 
Oh course my parents are quick to give me crap for every little thing I do wrong, but the moment I open my mouth to point out something they did wrong, they flip out and counter it with something I've done wrong. Tried telling my step-mom to stop leaving her cigarette buds in the cups because I have to wash them, and she full-on berates me in return.
"Well you didn't do jack-**** yesterday and you never do a good job cleaning and I had to pick up your period blood when you took a shower yesterday." Honestly such a stupid argument because my period ended days before my shower. And wouldn't the water wash it away anyways?
I was so pissed off I locked myself in the bathroom and cried. I'm so ******* frustrated with them. It's like I'm in no position to tell them anything 'cause they're perfect in any way and can't do wrong in their eyes.
My parents want me to be transparent and open-minded, but they can't seem to return the favor. It's not like I ever get a "Oh I'm sorry, I'll try not to do that next time." Nonono, I get lectured or yelled at instead.
I feel like I'm over-reacting like usual, but I just don't know what to do anymore.
 
(Mario Kart 8)
I was in a battle and a gold digger with 99K. infiltrated my low room between 2.5K and 5K (I have about 5K BR). I ended up beating him on the first battle in which I got first and he came in second… and I only got +7 for winning. 🙄 Makes no sense how gold diggers can get +17 for first in the same rooms and I’m getting +7.
 
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thank you guys for taking the time to reply. i unfortunately had to take my new kitty back to the shelter this morning. she’s an angel, but the situation just kept getting worse, and neither cat was happy. the stress was making everyone sick and tearing the household apart, and i didn’t want to subject my cats to it anymore. i feel like crap about it, but i know this is probably what’s best for everyone long-term.

thank you again for replying and for the advice. i appreciate it ♥️
I'm sorry to hear that, but I agree it was probably the best thing for everyone. I'm sure she'll get adopted out soon and be happy in her new home! Even though you couldn't provide the life for her that you wanted, you still took good care of her and placed her wellbeing first, and that's really great of you.
 
(Mario Kart 8)
I was in a battle and a gold digger with 99K. infiltrated my low room between 2.5K and 5K (I have about 5K BR). I ended up beating him on the first battle in which I got first and he came in second… and I only got +7 for winning. 🙄 Makes no sense how gold diggers can get +17 for first in the same rooms and I’m getting +7.
It's stupid. It's like the whole atrocious gsp system they have in place for Smash online. You can win several matches and lose all of those points in just one single match that you lose.

Or if someone ragequits then no one gets points despite the fact that you may end up taking 1st place. So someone can get butthurt and ragequit at the last second.

thank you guys for taking the time to reply. i unfortunately had to take my new kitty back to the shelter this morning. she’s an angel, but the situation just kept getting worse, and neither cat was happy. the stress was making everyone sick and tearing the household apart, and i didn’t want to subject my cats to it anymore. i feel like crap about it, but i know this is probably what’s best for everyone long-term.

thank you again for replying and for the advice. i appreciate it
I'm sorry to hear about that. You never know how things will work out. So my suggestion (or others) could've not made any difference. It's hard to make that kind of call, but you stuck with it and did the responsible and right thing. For everyone's well-being as well as both cats. I am sure that she will be adopted again in no time.
 
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My mom is such a liar. She gaslights me so much that she didn’t move this or that. Before I would excuse it due to her being a senior. However, now I know that she clearly snooped through my wardrobe.
 
I just have lots of things on my mind right now I don’t feel up to writing about. I’ll probably post about it tomorrow since I just want to sleep, lol. The one thing keeping me sane is knowing my favorite person loves me. It feels nice having someone who says that to me.. and at the same time I’m not doubting it one bit in my head. Even more so since she said it first. We were talking about how bad I was at double battles in Pokémon (jokingly of course) and she said “yes you do [suck at double battles] but I love you anyway.”

I’m also tired so I’ll probably get to sleep before that changes.
 
I'm just demotivated and in a rut right now regarding work. I just can't be bothered doing anything. I think it's because what I'm doing isn't challenging enough for me; like I'm not working on a big project or anything. I've got small stuff to carry on with but it's not enough. Meanwhile I've pretty much got a job offer sitting there for me, and it's tempting to take right now just to get out of where I am now, but I don't think that'll be challenging enough for me either.

I actually kinda hate challenge and change as it brings along a lot of stress and anxiety, but once I'm confident I love it. I just want something to work on consistently. The cyclone has kinda screwed me over big time as we had projects lined up that are now on hold due to lack of resources and lack of funding.

Tl;dr I'm just kinda over life rn lol
 
I have his horribly notorious track record of having bad things happen to me all at once and then just as I recover from the bad things it happens again.. and today is no different.

Im just getting to grips with my 2 dental infections last month that went alongside a small mental breakdown and having to move across the country while doing coursework. yeah it sucked but i was getting better! Then today after having another mini breakdown because I feel overwhelmed by my family I have another dental infection and have asked for help but I'm being ignored by doctors - even worse is that this infection has appeared the day I'm due to begin a 7 day crackdown of the coursework I NEED an A in. I already had to take weeks out last month due to 2 infections in 2 weeks AND I had to defer a year last year due to illness so Im already playing the catch up game without now dealing with this.
Also I accidentally gave myself a contact allergy reaction trying to soothe the dental pain and i feel sick. cant even eat a crumpet without wincing. ugh.
 
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