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What's bothering you?

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I wish I could go back to the times where I was young and never worried about my future.
It's such a stressful thing to think about at this point in my life.
 
Went to a gathering, got drunk on watermelon/lemon and lime fizz and maybe a latte, and now I don't wanna go to sleep :(
 
Somebody brought chocolate chips to school today and I ate way too damn many. I feel like I'm going to puke.

~

Earlier this morning, my friends tried to convince me to dye my hair, but due to my skin tone there's not many colors to work with. And... I just don't see the point in dying my hair a marginally lighter shade when I'm just fine with it as it is, which seems to be either mousy brown or golden brown depending on how I look at it.

And apparently you're supposed to coordinate the color according to season?? I don't understand beauty. I guess that makes me kind of plain?... I didn't mean to digress so much but that's the real problem here. I like being feminine and everything but makeup and hair and fashion, it all just eludes me. It's kind of embarrassing when I'm expected to know all these things but I don't.

(No judgement on those who dye their hair, of course. But it just seems so pointless, for me.)
 
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i feel so emotionless and empty and i want to disappear so i can never burden anyone again
 
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The fact that my father is a single parent that has no job whatsoever and has 4 children to take care of, yet still insists on buying 4 packs of cigarettes and bottles of liquor when he goes to the store without buying any food, or anything important in that matter. I wish I could've been an ******* and tell him that he was disgusting when I moved out, but I decided to be polite. What a terrible, stupid mistake.

Ah - yes, yes. Successful man he is.
 
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Driving..

I'm going for my driving test on Friday and I'm so nervous! ;-; I failed the first time because I got a 'fail item' (in the NSW Australian test) and even if you drive perfectly, if you get even one fail item, it's an automatic fail. The testing officer scared me at a stop-sign merging onto the highway, he screamed at me not to go and I panicked. There was a lot of time to turn because there was a car around 200 meters away, but he panicked and thought I was pulling out in front of someone.:mad:

Now I'm nervous to get him as a testing officer again because he's so quiet and awkward and scared. I've been driving for such a long time and I'm so confident otherwise in the car. I've been to bajillions of legitimate driving lessons and sometimes I wish the driving instructors in the paid lessons could be the testing officers.:(

DRIVING TESTS SUCK.
 
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