The out of context quotes thread

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Oh you’re dating a monster! I dated a monster once. I got tired of picking out fur from my teeth.”
“Well if your teeth are a problem, I could always knock out a few for you!”

 

[PuffyFuzz]

"I have two Microsoft Outlooks and neither one of those are working"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Well girls, it looks like Mr Wednesday taught us all a very important lesson today.”
“That education is the progressive realization of our own ignorance?”
“No. Never turn your back in the middle of a dodgeball game!”