The out of context quotes thread

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"I'm looking for fresh slug."

"Yellow or purple?"

"Whatever."

"The purple one causes terrible, nightmarish diarrhea."

"Yeah, yeah, either one's fine."

 

[AccfSally]

"Simple minds, simple answers."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Don’t put forks into outlets. (That goes for real life too.)”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“You should have given him to ME!”
*Peppermint Butler slaps Princess Bubblegum*

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"How long has the band been together as Metallica?"

"Uhh, since we started."

 

[-Blue-]

Nobody rejects Debbie Grund!
Well, I did.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Helga (As the Debbies come walking by her and Milo): Hi Debbie! Hi Debbie! Hi Debbie! Hi Debbie! Hi Debbie!
*The Debbie’s all stop walking and stare at Helga and shudder in disgust*
Debbies (In unison): Ewwwww!
*The Debbie’s then resume talking to each other and continue walking as if they were one being*
Helga (Waving): Bye Debbie! Bye Debbie! Bye Debbie! Bye Debbie! Bye Debbie!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Actual conversation I had with another Cashapp scammer

Scammer: Where are you now?
Me: The Earth
Scammer: Did you like to receive check or home delivery
Me: What’s a check?
Scammer: Send me your address
Me: What’s an address? Is it a type of kitty? I like kitties. Especially when they say Woof!
Scammer: Your House address
Me: What’s a house? Is it a type of birdie?

After that, the scammer stopped talking to me.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Male Playmobil Figure: I make fun of you to satisfy my fragile male ego.
Female Playmobil Figure: I put up with you because I have no other options.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Bart: You know Ned remarried.
Ghost Maude (Angrily As she’s floating up to Heaven): He what?!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Agnes (As a mutated Nugget starts eating a brain): Okay. That’s just gross!
*You live in the sewer*
Agnes: I still have standards!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I went through puberty twice just for this?!”

 

[QueenCobra]

“No, mein Fuhrer, I’m from Arizona.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I’m crazy enough to take on Batman but the IRS? No, thank you!”

 

[Beanz]

“hold on, i’m looking up aneurism in our medical dictionary to see if i just had one.”

-gilmore girls (not sure who said it bc i was in a compilation but i have never watched the show before)

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Of course the Super Friends are racist! I originally went by Supervolt but then Aqua Man decides that I should be called Black Vulcan instead. And so I said to him, ‘Yeah? Well how about I call you Whitefish?!’”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“And none of the horses are eating each other….”
“Well, why would they, Stan? It’s taboo.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“The more you love someone
The more you want to kill them!”

 

[rocketspruggs]

"I will now begin explanations for the second main gameーMr. Gin Ibushi, how are you faring?"

"There he is, meowーUncle Crabstache!"

"Uncle Crabstache...?"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Our plane crashed on an ice floe and we were stranded there for over a year but thanks to this melon-headed man child and the query of the internet, we were rescued not only 24 hours ago.”
“We never lost hope that we’d see you again, Helga, even when the food ran out and we were forced to eat the other passengers.”
“That must of been horrible!”
“Oh you have no idea. Here *pulls out a string of teeth* I made you a necklace from their teeth. *Puts it on around Helga’s neck*”
“Uh thanks.”
“Now let’s go home!”
“Helga Fugly, I leave you in the custody of your parents.”
*Everyone but Mrs Hubbard cheer*
“Why Helga! You look good enough to eat!”
*Helga gasps and looks horrified as her parents take her home”