The out of context quotes thread

[Suguri]

Who left this sandwich on my desk? How can you expect me to stay motivated with this kind of distraction, people?!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I’m going to have to search you, ma’am.”
*Winona Ryder puppet gets very upset and starts jumping up and down as random things fall out from beneath her*
“What?! This is a violation of my rights! Do you know who I am?! You can’t do this to me!”
*A very large pile of unpaid for merchandise is now forming a mountain of stuff. Winona looks around nervously*
“Uh heh heh. How did all that stuff get in there?”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Freeze, has been!”
“Has been? Don’t you guys get TV Land?”
“You have the right to remain silent!”
*Cockatoo on Puppet Robert Blake’s shoulders starts squawking and flapping its wings*
“Alibi!”
“Yeah! I got this great alibi! You see I forgot my heater and it must have been-”
“The hit man you hired!”
“The hit man I- HEY YOU DIRTY BIRD!”

 

[Suguri]

What're you doing this weekend?

Shreddin' the gnar with steez, gapers!

 

[Yoshi155]

Hey, Dad! I’ve come to spend some time with my favorite father.

Baloney! You came here to put me in a home!

You’re already in a home.

Oh, how could you?

 

[Yoshi155]

Surely you children are aware of your Brahman heritage?

As long as you have absolutely no follow up questions, yes. Yes, we are.

Fully. …we have to go now.

 

[Suguri]

We shall call him "Gregory Bartholomew Poopypants"!

 

[Yoshi155]

Hey! What’s Lucky hooked up to?

A respirator. It breathes for him.

And here I am, using my own lungs like a sucker.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Oink oink! I’m Oinky the Run Around With Scissors Pig! Oinky says it’s fun to run with scissors!”
“I thought you weren’t supposed to run with scissors.”
“That’s why he’s on the Island.”

 

[Yoshi155]

You know what you could do, Apu.

Yeah, shut up.

You could fake your own death.

Oh, would you shut up?

All you need is a car bomb and-

I can’t believe you don’t shut up!

 

[Yoshi155]

What’s a castrati?

I don’t know, but I’m sure it spicy.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“All my friends are Kentucky Fried.”
*Man is seen eating some chicken from a bucket next to living chicken*
“All of your friends are delicious.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Moe, what do you recommend for severe depression?

Booze, booze, and more booze.

 

[Midoriya]

*Black Adam rushes in and takes out a bunch of enemies, and then stands up proud to the onlooker*

"Hi, it's me, Black Adam..."

"Oh, you're not the only Adam."

"Wait, what do you mean?"

*All of a sudden another Adam appears, except he's more nerdy and white*

"H-heya guys, it's me. White Adam."

"Oh..."

"Woah, look over there! It's Purple Adam!"

*The man points to another guy on the ground that's turned purple and looks like he's about to die from choking on food*

"Help me..."

*All of a sudden another muscular guy with colorful sunglasses on, a party hat, and riding a unicorn flies in*

"AWW yeah guys, it's me... Rainbow Adam."

"JUST HOW MANY OF YOU ARE THERE?!?"

 

[Suguri]

Somebody farted farted farted farted farted

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Dinosaur: All my friends are dead
Dodo: All my friends are dead.

 

[Suguri]

Hi Aunt Fwank!

 

[Yoshi155]

Wow, I wish I had an elephant

You did. His name was Stampy. You loved him.

Oh, yeah.

 

[Yoshi155]

Oh, do you think this marriage could really work?

Who knows? We can always get divorced.

Of course! God bless America!

 

[Suguri]

I'll bet I can fit your whole foot in my mouth!