The out of context quotes thread

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"You gotta bring us back to reality!"

"Butterflies have no concern for such things."

 

[Yoshi155]

She’s committed 30 felonies in 12 star systems. If no one stops her, she’ll break my record for longest rap sheet.

 

[Suguri]

Dear Diary,
Today I played with my Dinoblazer action figures again. It was Mecharex vs. Triceraclops and Mecharex bited Triceraclops in the tail. And then Triceraclops turned around and said oh yeah well how do you like that and he shot Mecharex right in the heinie.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Of course, if that's the case, I expect he'd be worshipped as a kind of God by a medieval-level society of his least-delicious children."

 

[Yoshi155]

You sure you know how to fly this thing?

I invented it, didn’t I? You wouldn’t ask Thomas Edison whether he knew how to use a sexmatron.

 

[Suguri]

One two free four five. Five named Clive.

 

[Yoshi155]

^ I love all of these Diary of a Wimpy Kid quotes

We’re in Mars, in a forgotten cavern abandoned by the native Martians a million years ago.

Actually, it was five years ago. I remember ‘cause I washed my socks.

 

[Yoshi155]

I can’t believe you ratted me out, Fry!

I’m not a rat, I swear! If I’m any rodent, it’s the loyal capybara, king of the rats. No, wait.

 

[Suguri]

Mom says I need to hug you guys.

 

[Yoshi155]

Sir, at our present speed, the computer predicts a 100% chance we’ll be sliced in half. We’ll never make it.

Not with that attitude, we won’t!

 

[QueenCobra]

“I’m right on top of that, Rose!”

 

[ShadowLelouch97]

"You hear that, Noah? Lanz wants something a bit meatier!"

 

[Yoshi155]

My arms are broken! I’ll never paint again! *sobs*

You can’t sue the military.

Oh, I’m okay then.

 

[Suguri]

Do zombies fart? Like, what if you're trying to be all sneaky-like, and then you hear a fart. Then you realize it's a zombie.

-a TBTer
(my sense of humor is stupid.)

 

[Yoshi155]

Hey, aren’t you the robot who robbed me at gunpoint last year?

No further answers, Your Honor.

 

[Yoshi155]

Lisa, knock off that racket!

But, Dad, I’m supposed to practice an hour a day.

I’ll practice you!

You’ll practice me? What does that mean? Is it supposed to be some sort of threat?

*Homer growls angrily*

 

[Yoshi155]

Now, son, on your first day of school, I’d like to pass along the words of advice my father gave me.

“Homer, you’re dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. If a strange man offers you a ride, I say take it!”

Lousy, traumatic childhood!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Moi will play the petite mermaid.”
“Mermaids aren’t fat!”
*Baby Piggy gets angry and Kermit gets in between Skeeter and her*
“Skeeter! If you take my advice for once in your natural life, walk away.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Homer, I can’t get the baby to burp. Can you try it for a while?

No problem. I’ll just give her a sip of beer. Come on, Maggie. It’s Miller time! Yes, it’s Miller time!

Homer!

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Boys! Boys, have you seen my *****?"

(confused) "...What?"

"My ***** is on the loose! If you see it, just try to catch it with some cheese." *runs away*

"Ow... That hurt my brains."