The out of context quotes thread

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“When your online profile says, ‘Passionate Bear looking for love,’ you get a lot of wrong responses. Uh, not ‘wrong.’ Uh, just wrong for me.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Dr. Eggman has a Dreamcast. I think that makes him based.

 

[SkyKnight03]

All bubble blowing babies will be beaten senseless by every able bodied patron in the bar.​

 

[QueenCobra]

“I didn't know you were gonna be here today and, judging by your outfit, you didn't either."

 

[Yoshi155]

So… uh… do we just leave or…

Yes. Why don’t you go BLJ out of here?

 

[Yoshi155]

Professor, sprinkle us with wisdom from your mighty brain. How scared should we be?

Somewhere between “not at all” and “entirely.”

 

[Suguri]

And you think it's possible to morph the static electricity to bend water at will?

I can, being God and all. AND I DON'T EVEN NEED THE STATIC ELECTRICITY!!

Plus Moses did with just a staff I gave him. Shame he sold it for cheap prostitutes. -another TBTer (found in an old thread)

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Quick, what's six times, uh... Twelve?"

*Nathan punches Murderface on the arm*

"Ow! Hey, what the ****!"

*Toki starts laughing and Murderface punches him*

"I gets punched for laughing?"

"Laughing hurts more."

 

[Yoshi155]

Hi, everyone. Sorry I’ve been taking up so much of Fry’s time. He’s just so interesting. Have you seen how much cotton candy he can eat?

5.1 pounds. That’s why his blood is so good on pancakes.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Nathan, I have your test results."

"Oh, you open it, I... I can't stand the pressure."

"Let's see here, okay... It's a, uh, zero. No questions were answered."

"Aw! DAMN! Seriously?!"

 

[Yoshi155]

I beg you, Calculon. Don’t ring that door chime.

I have no choice, Monique. Whoever the blackmailer is, he lives behind this hideous, yet strangely familiar door. *rings doorbell*

Calculon residence. Oh, hello, Mr. Calculon.

Son of a bit! This is my house! But that means I’m… blackmailing myself! Why didn’t you tell me, Monique?

I tried to, but I couldn’t. Oh, Calculon, I’m afraid you have a fourth personality the other three don’t know about. And it and I are… lovers!

 

[QueenCobra]

"I am one of those few people who looks hot eating a cupcake."

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Doesn't he knows there's no such things as religion?"

"You mean you don't believe in God. There is such thing as religion."

"Oh, then proves it! Show me, uh, miracles that religion exists!"

"Well, uhm... Y'know, there's a Bible right there."

"Welllll... Maybe I reevaluates my life..."

 

[Midoriya]

"Now watch me be Tracer Tracer, now watch me be King Kong King Kong..."

"Bro."

"What?"

"You JUST turned from a 120 lb woman to a 20-60 ton gorilla in a matter of SECONDS!"

"So, was it better this time?"

"...Why do you always disappoint me?"

 

[Suguri]

What Does The Cow Say?
Moo

What Does The Cat Say?
Meow

What Does The Dog Say?
AOBA.

 

[QueenCobra]

"I feel like I'm watching a clown at a birthday party, and I mean that in the best way. I mean that in the best way, because that's what she's going for…I think."

 

[Yoshi155]

Wow, you even look beautiful in 2D!

I do? But from your perspective, I’m just a line segment.

A really hot line segment!

 

[Suguri]

(Music fades in) Tabun sonnan ja dame desho Oh yea Mr Krabs oh yea oh yea Mr Krabs oh yea Mr Krabs oh yea oh yea Mr Krabs oh yea Mr Krabs oh yea oh yea Mr Krabs oh yea Mr Krabs oh yea oh yea Mr Krabs Krab Krab AHH AHH AHH Krab Krab AHH Krab AHH Krab Krab Krab Krab AHH AHH AHH Krab Krab AHH Krab AHH Krab Krab Krab Krab AHH AHH AHH Krab Krab AHH Krab AHH Krab Krab Oh yea Mr Krabs (Music slowly fades out)

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Sally and I have always wanted an imaginary friend but we could never make one. No creativity.”
“Really? It certainly took creativity to think you could pull off those tacky sweaters!”
*Family laughs obviously to Dutchess’ insult*
“Oh my she’s a quick one! We just moved into town and saw the billboard advertising you.”
“Really? I’m surprised you can read!”
*Family laughs obliviously even more*
“Oh my, what a charmer.”
“Oh Daddy, can we keep her? Can we? I’ll feed her and care for her and she’ll sleep at the foot of my bed with Mr Woof Woof!”
“Oh goodie. I get to sleep with you mangy flea ridden mutt and your sweaty fungal feet?! SOUNDS WONDERFUL!”
“Terrific! We’ll take her!”
“What?!”
“What?!”
“What?!”
“We’ll take her! She’s so full of spirit and a sense of humor to boot!”
“But I’m not joking! I really mean all those horrible things! You dress terribly, you’re uneducated, and your feet do smell!”
*Family gasp and are silent for a second before laughing obliviously again*
“You almost had us there! You’re a regular wisenhiemer!”

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Pray now the prayer of revenge. For whom do you seek revenge?"

"I seek revenge on Rachel from the Food Network. Can't you make her eyes fall out or something?"

*Staring blankly*

"**** fall off?"

*More blank staring*

"...Satan, grant this man the gift of revenge against his foes at the Food Network."

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

"S-seriously?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"That's cool."