The out of context quotes thread

[frogslime]

like if aphrodite was an autistic guy

 

[Shawna]

“Maybe I’ll go check out the lights Kiki put up. I hear they’re not too pathetic, unlike you.”

 

[rocketspruggs]

"My turn. "Kwyjibo", "K-W-Y-J-I-B-O". 22 points, plus triple word score, plus 50 points for using all my letters. Game's over, I'm out of here."

"Wait a minute, you little cheater, you're not going anywhere until you tell me what a, "kwyjibo", is."

""Kwyjibo", uh...a big, dumb, balding North American ape, with no chin."

"And a short temper."

"I'll show you a big, dumb, balding ape!"

"Uh-oh, kwyjibo on the loose!"

 

[Yoshi155]

Congratulations, Fry. You snagged the perfect girlfriend. Amy’s rich, she’s probably got other characteristics.

Bender! Romance isn’t about money!

Oh, so it’s just coincidence that Zoidberg here is desperately poor and miserably lonely? Puh-lease.

For your information, it’s because he’s hideous.

*Zoidberg groans sadly*

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Stay back or I’ll cut your little friend!” “What do I care? That’s a yellow pumpkin.”
“Gasp! You’re a racist!”
“All pumpkins are racist. I choose to admit it.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Now, how about a rose for the lady? Five bucks a pop.

I’ll take one.

Oh, yeah? Well, I want one, too.

Eight bucks.

But you just said-

Demand suddenly skyrocketed.

 

[QueenCobra]

"If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis!"

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Huh, tutorials written on a tombstone. Nintendo's really aiming for that senior market."

 

[Mr.Fox]

"If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis!"

‘I’ll tell you who took those lunches, that damn sasquatch.’

 

[Yoshi155]

How’s that robot I ran over?

We did all we could.

*gasps* You mean he’s-

Good as new? Yes.

 

[Midoriya]

*snoring while Jimmy sleeps in bed*

"JIMMMMMMMMYYYYYY, I'M THE GHOST OF ST. PATRICK'S DAY FUTURE......"

"H-huh, wha? A ghost? What do you want???"

"I WANT YOU TO GUESS ONE THING FOR ME, JIMMMMMYYYYY...."

"Huh, alright, sure... what is it?"

"WHAT IS THE PRICE OF A NEW TESLA MODEL X, JIMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYY??????"

"Uh-uh, oh gosh, I don't know.... $10,000?"

*all of a sudden the room shifts into a stage with props everywhere and a live audience*

"Just kidding, Jimmy! You're on THE PRICE IS RIGHT!" *audience claps*

"H-huh, wha? For real?? That's awesome!"

"I know right?!"

"So did I win??"

"Unfortunately you lost. Badly. You weren't in the top ten percentage, heck, you scored in the bottom of the percentiles, slightly better than those guys who lost over there."

*camera shifts to another section of the stage where the League Of Super Evil (LOSE) members are currently trying to avoid falling into shark-infested waters*

"HELP USSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!"

"Oh..."

 

[Yoshi155]

Superintendent Chalmers! …how are you going?

Why is it when I heard the word “school” and the word “exploded,” I immediately thought of the word “Skinner!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I’m starting a new diet where I only eat grapefruit.”
“But all of the grapefruit are covered by hot fudge!”
“Shhh! Not so loud! My stomach might hear you!”

 

[Yoshi155]

Burns was rushed to a nearby hospital where he was pronounced dead. He was then transferred to a better hospital where doctors updated his condition to “Alive.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Leela, you’ve gotta train me to win.

No way! If you wouldn’t take my help when you didn’t need it, why should I give it to you now when you do need it?

What the HELL are you talking about?

I don’t know, but I’m not helping.

 

[Yoshi155]

You loved him as Bender the Offender. Now, get ready to hate him as he threatens your sexuality in his new persona: the Gender Bender.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“How was school, Penny?”
“Oh we didn’t have school today. You see they ran out of books and somebody stabbed my teacher.”

 

[QueenCobra]

“I feel good! Papa’s got a brand new bag! It’s a man’s world!”

 

[Ananas Dragon]

"How do I get a screen recorder that doesn't mine my data?"

 

[Mr.Fox]

‘You gave me that candy, now I’ll do you a favor in return…a magical favor…
A mystical magical favooor…for yoooou!

*turns half of Finn’s body into a giant ankle*