The out of context quotes thread

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"I'm Mr. Crowbar, and this is my friend, who is also a crowbar."

"That's... Stupid."

*Jerry beats him up to death with the crowbar*

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*Spud goes crazy hitting the mob hit men with a shovel*
“Spud! SPUD!”
*Spud stops*
“Don’t forget your safety glasses!”
“Thanks Bob!”
*Spud puts on glasses and continues hitting away with the shovel*

 

[Yoshi155]

That’s what you get for having no friends. Loser.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Oh my God, Rick! The whole world is infected!"

"Yeah, it's pretty wild how fast that spread. I've really outdone myself."

"Outdone yourself?! Are you kidding me, Rick?! This is not okay! Not only do they all want to have sex with me, but now they want to eat me afterwards!"

"I don't know what I was thinking. Mantises are the opposite of voles? Obviously DNA is a bit more complicated than that."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Are you bitter because your husband plays with his trains more than he plays with you?”

 

[frogslime]

"Potion of liver failure"

 

[QueenCobra]

“That Vizzini, he can *fuss*.”

“Fuss, fuss... I think he like to scream at *us*.”

“Probably he means no *harm*.”

“He's really very short on *charm*.”

“You have a great gift for rhyme.”

“Yes, yes, some of the time.”

“Enough of that.”

“Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?

“If there are, we all be dead.”

“No more rhymes now, I mean it.”

“Anybody want a peanut?”

“DYYYYEEEAAHH!”

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Morty, do you know what "wubba lubba dub dub" means?

Uh, that's just Rick's stupid nonsense catchphrase.

It's not nonsense at all. In my people's tongue, it means, "I am in great pain. Please help me."

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Oh boy, here I go killing again!"

 

[Yoshi155]

Look, I know there are no car chases, but this is important. One of these two men will become president of the world.

What do we care? We live in the United States.

The United States is part of the world.

Wow, I have been gone a long time.

 

[Midoriya]

"Mimi

I'm so sorry...

that I killed you by farting.

My fart was so huge and explosive that it just... exploded you.

And you ded."

---

"So man, what are you going to call your new song?"

"I call it, Death of a Pineapple. The album is called TBT's Intense Hatred Towards Pineapple on Pizza."

"Oh..."

from messaging friends on Discord

 

[Yoshi155]

What party do you belong to, Bender?

I’m not allowed to vote.

‘Cause you’re a robot?

No. Convicted felon.

 

[frogslime]

"What I'm trying to say is- cuz I know you turned me into a vampire- maybe don't do that to him. He's, uh, vegetarian. The last thing he'd wanna do is eat, uh, live being, or eat blood or eat meat."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“So the Beast let some people starve to death and three of them are now stuck as ghosts that must help the guy that killed them get a girlfriend? What kind of f@#$&d up karma is that?!”

 

[Yoshi155]

Leela, I’ve got a plan.

I’ve got a better plan.

 

[Psydye]

Dante: "These fireworks are dangerous! Are you crazy?! These kids can really hurt themselves!!"
Jay: "Hurt themselves? Heck man, they can blow their frickin' hands off."

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Last time I was in Finland, I must've 'you-know-what'ed about, mmm... 500 girls. Ballpark estimate, whatever."

"Not like it's so hard, you're in the biggest band in the world! Guy brags about eating lollipops, he works in a lollipop factory..."

"Women have a faulty attraction to me, you got to deal with it."

"Oh, I'm dealing with it. Believe me, I'm holding back gallons of throw-up as we speak."

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Gentlemen, it's clear that we're in a universally precarious situation. Dethklok has summoned a troll."

"That's impossible, there's no such thing as trolls."

"Then how do you explain the dead unicorns?"

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Yeah, I was at the original Batsfjord Massacre Fest. It was insanely brutal."

"No way. Brutal, man."

"I stole my kid's trust fund to get there. I got frostbite, check it out."

"That's so brutal."

"My little sister didn't really like Dethklok, so I made her drink motor oil and she got real sick."

"Whatever. Call me when you got a real story, you ****ing *****."

 

[Yoshi155]

Dad, by striking, they’re trying to effect a change in management so that they can be happier and more productive.

Lisa, if you don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.