The Official Feedback Thread
- Thread starter Jeremy
- Start date
- Status
Welp. The threads open again.
Time to yap about ****ty mods.
Then what actually happened?
If you actually explained to us what happened in full instead of hiding behind the shield of "the accusation that a member is being singled out is not true", then maybe the whole discussion would be over with by now.
Just… tell us what happened. No lies. No indirect messages. Just... tell us the truth.
I’m frustrated at all of this, and I wish you’d be more direct, but if you tell us what happened, we can at the very least understand your perspective better.
And while it would help for context's sake, if you really can't, you don't have to tell us who specifically it is that was banned
A huge nothingburger of a message. Impressive.
If were actually given info about what happened, this whole discussion wouldn't have happened.
Hell, if things were better handled, I wouldn't be surprised if we'd understand the mods and their process more, but... here we are.
This situation is ****ed, man.
I'm just gonna take a shot in the dark and assume Chris is still a mod.
Welp. That's all I have to say. I will be screenshotting this post in case the mods decide to delete/shadow edit my post, which probably has a 72.4%-93.6% chance of happening.
Time to yap about ****ty mods.
Ok then.
Then what actually happened?
If you actually explained to us what happened in full instead of hiding behind the shield of "the accusation that a member is being singled out is not true", then maybe the whole discussion would be over with by now.
Just… tell us what happened. No lies. No indirect messages. Just... tell us the truth.
I’m frustrated at all of this, and I wish you’d be more direct, but if you tell us what happened, we can at the very least understand your perspective better.
And while it would help for context's sake, if you really can't, you don't have to tell us who specifically it is that was banned
And yet other people who knew this banned member say that you all ****ing with them has been a constant issue.
But you didn't though?????
Yeah, that isn’t ok. I can agree woth you on that.
I genuinely wish I could believe this.
Aaaand you only delayed more criticism. Great.
A huge nothingburger of a message. Impressive.
THIS.
My exact thoughts.
If were actually given info about what happened, this whole discussion wouldn't have happened.
Hell, if things were better handled, I wouldn't be surprised if we'd understand the mods and their process more, but... here we are.
And yet you have't given us any info to make us believe this statement.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The more they try to take it out, the more likely it'll come back out.
This situation is ****ed, man.
This is really gross.hey this is the full ss with names pls dont delete it!! and this was my full response!! both of which got deleted off the forum right after it happened. im not even active on here, havent talked to seliph in probably 4 year, but im very angry!!!! if we can publicly call him out in this thread BY THE OWNER of the forum, we shouldnt have to censor mods names out of posts to avoid them being deleted! for context he was 28 at the time this was posted. thank for not deleting this guys!
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also other uncensored post!
not good if it was bad enough to have to delete later. :c
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Image Screenshot-2025-05-23-162352 hosted on ImgBBibb.co
i know this forum has had issues with stuff like this before, it needs to start being taken seriously. when will you learn
I'm just gonna take a shot in the dark and assume Chris is still a mod.
I really hope so. This is really uncomfortable and gross for you to say, so it'd be nice if there was some explanation to this.
Welp. That's all I have to say. I will be screenshotting this post in case the mods decide to delete/shadow edit my post, which probably has a 72.4%-93.6% chance of happening.
gonna be blunt here: anything that doesn't include a straightforward apology and a formal decision to step down from staff is woefully insufficent at this point
It's 2025...can we have a dark or night theme preference option? For those of us with brightness sensitivities...I was not able to participate in this thread up until now and I’ve purposely taken a step back from directly handling moderation issues the past few months. I’ll elaborate on why that is further down.
First off, I am actually in agreement with you all. The posts I made in the past were incredibly inappropriate, and I am sorry for that. Another forum I moderate has very candid conversations about sex and relationships, as did the social circle I ran in IRL (a group I’ve since distanced myself from, as I realised they were enablers of my behaviour), and at the time I didn’t make the connection that that would not be appropriate here. Some of the posts shared I don’t even remember, and even I’m appalled by them. They were posted during a time I was struggling with alcohol abuse, something I’ve since sought help for, and the things I stated in them I absolutely do not agree with now. If I could wipe those posts from history, I would, because I don't agree with them either. They don't reflect the person I am now and I understand now how they made people uncomfortable. I know I can't change the past, but I can remove them now so they will not affect more people in the future. I'm sorry for the way I behaved.
How I socialise with people is only something that I realised was of concern sometime after those posts were made. At the time I posted those, I had yet to receive an ADHD diagnosis, and since that happened in January 2024 I have been working to improve the way I communicate with people. In the past four months specifically, I’ve been working with a therapist and an ADHD coach to essentially unlearn everything I know about communication and rebuild a ‘social tools kit’ from scratch. This is something I realised I need to do when it was raised to me in real life that the way I communicate often came off blunt, disinterested, or rude
During the Valentine’s event, some posts I made faced extreme amounts of scrutiny and interpretation and it was very overwhelming – especially with a work situation in real life compounding on that. It was at that time I realised I still have a lot of work to do in the way I communicate online especially, so that these miscommunications don't arise. I’ve taken a step back from directly handling member issues in this time while I work on that. When the ‘How do you feel about the site?’ and subsequently the Official Feedback Thread opened, I did not feel equipped to handle that. In hindsight I should have said something but I found it difficult to even find the words to say. Please understand that it is extremely frustrating when you can't find the right words to phrase something fast enough and people are getting mad at you for it. This is why Jeremy said “dogpiling” wasn’t conducive to the discussion, because he could see the constant barrage of messages was not giving me the time to calm down enough to think rationally about the situation to compose a response. And honestly, after the anger died down I just felt numb. It’s hard to write a sincere apology about something when you find it difficult to emotionally connect to it. I regret that I didn’t handle it at the time, but I also don’t think anything I would have wrote then would have been deemed satisfactory. I did not have the capability at the time to do so.
I have no personal issue with pixel and microscale art and while I could elaborate specifically on the reasons why I felt the Valentine's entry was not suitable for this particular contest at the time, that is not the purpose of this post and I don't feel that is appropriate to do here. Especially as I do not want to put any further spotlight on sleepey, because I do feel bad that all of this was a result of their entry. They said at the time they felt embarrassed by the way I had approached the situation, and while that was not my intention, I recognise it was the reaction and I am sorry for that. I should have put more thought into my wording before responding, rather than sending something quickly, and I should have handled it privately.
I’ve been doing a lot of reflection and working on the way I communicate online. Going forward I am going to keep doing this. If I word something too harshly or unclearly, feel free to message me. I want to understand where I still need to improve, and I'd appreciate you taking the time to share this with me. I have someone keeping me accountable for this in real life and it has been incredibly helpful. I’m relearning over 30 years of social skills and it is both confusing and challenging. It isn’t something that is done overnight but I'm working on it and I hope you'll bear with me while I do.
First off, I am actually in agreement with you all. The posts I made in the past were incredibly inappropriate, and I am sorry for that. Another forum I moderate has very candid conversations about sex and relationships, as did the social circle I ran in IRL (a group I’ve since distanced myself from, as I realised they were enablers of my behaviour), and at the time I didn’t make the connection that that would not be appropriate here. Some of the posts shared I don’t even remember, and even I’m appalled by them. They were posted during a time I was struggling with alcohol abuse, something I’ve since sought help for, and the things I stated in them I absolutely do not agree with now. If I could wipe those posts from history, I would, because I don't agree with them either. They don't reflect the person I am now and I understand now how they made people uncomfortable. I know I can't change the past, but I can remove them now so they will not affect more people in the future. I'm sorry for the way I behaved.
How I socialise with people is only something that I realised was of concern sometime after those posts were made. At the time I posted those, I had yet to receive an ADHD diagnosis, and since that happened in January 2024 I have been working to improve the way I communicate with people. In the past four months specifically, I’ve been working with a therapist and an ADHD coach to essentially unlearn everything I know about communication and rebuild a ‘social tools kit’ from scratch. This is something I realised I need to do when it was raised to me in real life that the way I communicate often came off blunt, disinterested, or rude
During the Valentine’s event, some posts I made faced extreme amounts of scrutiny and interpretation and it was very overwhelming – especially with a work situation in real life compounding on that. It was at that time I realised I still have a lot of work to do in the way I communicate online especially, so that these miscommunications don't arise. I’ve taken a step back from directly handling member issues in this time while I work on that. When the ‘How do you feel about the site?’ and subsequently the Official Feedback Thread opened, I did not feel equipped to handle that. In hindsight I should have said something but I found it difficult to even find the words to say. Please understand that it is extremely frustrating when you can't find the right words to phrase something fast enough and people are getting mad at you for it. This is why Jeremy said “dogpiling” wasn’t conducive to the discussion, because he could see the constant barrage of messages was not giving me the time to calm down enough to think rationally about the situation to compose a response. And honestly, after the anger died down I just felt numb. It’s hard to write a sincere apology about something when you find it difficult to emotionally connect to it. I regret that I didn’t handle it at the time, but I also don’t think anything I would have wrote then would have been deemed satisfactory. I did not have the capability at the time to do so.
I have no personal issue with pixel and microscale art and while I could elaborate specifically on the reasons why I felt the Valentine's entry was not suitable for this particular contest at the time, that is not the purpose of this post and I don't feel that is appropriate to do here. Especially as I do not want to put any further spotlight on sleepey, because I do feel bad that all of this was a result of their entry. They said at the time they felt embarrassed by the way I had approached the situation, and while that was not my intention, I recognise it was the reaction and I am sorry for that. I should have put more thought into my wording before responding, rather than sending something quickly, and I should have handled it privately.
I’ve been doing a lot of reflection and working on the way I communicate online. Going forward I am going to keep doing this. If I word something too harshly or unclearly, feel free to message me. I want to understand where I still need to improve, and I'd appreciate you taking the time to share this with me. I have someone keeping me accountable for this in real life and it has been incredibly helpful. I’m relearning over 30 years of social skills and it is both confusing and challenging. It isn’t something that is done overnight but I'm working on it and I hope you'll bear with me while I do.
Sharksheep
Senior Member
I'm going to be straight forward. You should be doing this relearning away from this forum. Step down as staff so people can ignore you and never have to see your posts again. I'm glad to hear that you are trying to work on yourself but this behavior can't be unlearned easily or quickly. What you said in the past was predatory rhetoric. The fact you work with minors when you made that statement makes it more heinous.
Deleting and editing your posts is not enough.
You said you already step back from handling moderation issues recently so you are already halfway there.
im sorry i hear you but i had raging undiagnosed adhd and i didnt date minors. feel like you kinda dodged that. and you work in a school. i just feel uncomfortable. not to mention if you were in a forum where it was appropriate to talk about that stuff, why did you need to on an animal crossing forum? it feels very very irresponsible as a mod, and if you couldnt see that at the time of posting, maybe its time to rethink the position. we shouldnt need to moderate your posts, that’s your job. how can you be a reliable moderator to others if you cant moderate yourself?
im all for people changing and growing, i think it’s great to work on yourself. theres a line that needs to be drawn, though. these issues are affecting others and its not fair for it to continue.
I am really sorry you've been struggling a lot with ADHD, past alcohol abuse and stressful things at work and real life, however it seems like these things are putting you in a bad position mentally and physically to moderate the forums. Agreeing with others I do not think TBT is a good place for you to learn to be better. I am glad you are getting support and help for your issues and that you are taking time away from the forums to reflect on things however I do not think continuing to moderate the forums is a good idea in anyway, it seems further detrimental to your own health and the way you are affecting others. I think you should focus more on your health and improving yourself and not moderating forums. Wishing you the best
This is an example of a miscommunication that has arisen from not being aware of how badly I was wording things in the past until it was brought to my attention. To clear this up: I've never been involved with a minor, not since I was a minor myself. My largest age gap with someone younger than me was eight years (I rounded in that post ("~10 years") - in hindsight not my brightest idea). I was 29 she was 21. She was my classmate and pursued me. People may still disagree with that gap, but she was comfortable with it and the people in our lives were accepting of it.
I'm not asking anyone to moderate my posts. I'm stating I'm open to feedback, just like all of our team are.
you were 28 when you posted that though, i remember it was public on your profile.
That post was made in 2022, so three years ago. I'm 33.
maybe your birthday was wrong on the site then, either way it was taken down immediately so i cant even go back and check. but it says 28 in my photo
either way you knew it was wrong when it got taken down immediately. continued to make similar mistakes. im not familiar with ur posting now, i really havent been active in years, but from what ive seen its remained similar.
BetsySundrop
🧙♀️ 🧹
I'm sorry. This feels a bit like a ridiculous witch hunt - and I feel like I'm gonna get blasted, but pfft, I'm not worried about it. No feelings to hurt. 
In the old posts by chris referenced earlier in this thread regarding dating, there was NO reference to dating minors that I saw, and a clear statement of:
"provided both parties are consenting adults".
The inappropriate nature of the posts has been addressed, with apologies, deleting the offensive posts, an explanation of the change in self from past to now, and a definitive promise for better moving forward.
The moderation of events and decision to handle critiques/issues in a better/private manner in future is a good decision, imo. Also, as stated earlier, there will be more detailed/clearer guidelines in future events.
My official feedback is: I can see staff is human. They are trying to address concerns and at the same time calm everything down. I hope Chris is well and continues to mod at least sometimes and host events (jackbox games! Art!). I hope future events have clear outlines of expectations and issues are handled perhaps privately or more gently.
I do not understand the intensity of what looks very much like anger/hate from community members toward the staff. It feels rather surreal. Maybe I'm just really old, and i understand people can change and grow with care and kindness.
In the old posts by chris referenced earlier in this thread regarding dating, there was NO reference to dating minors that I saw, and a clear statement of:
"provided both parties are consenting adults".
The inappropriate nature of the posts has been addressed, with apologies, deleting the offensive posts, an explanation of the change in self from past to now, and a definitive promise for better moving forward.
The moderation of events and decision to handle critiques/issues in a better/private manner in future is a good decision, imo. Also, as stated earlier, there will be more detailed/clearer guidelines in future events.
My official feedback is: I can see staff is human. They are trying to address concerns and at the same time calm everything down. I hope Chris is well and continues to mod at least sometimes and host events (jackbox games! Art!). I hope future events have clear outlines of expectations and issues are handled perhaps privately or more gently.
I do not understand the intensity of what looks very much like anger/hate from community members toward the staff. It feels rather surreal. Maybe I'm just really old, and i understand people can change and grow with care and kindness.
fairysyndrome
love & support trans people. / Free Palestine.
Chris, i am - as i said before in response to Jeremy attempting to deflect my criticisms by bringing issues you've faced up - sincerely sorry in regards to your struggles. and i do wish you well in reflection, learning to communicate more healthily, and growing as a person. however - as someone with multiple mental health conditions myself (that i do not wish to disclose as this is not about me / not the point i am trying to make) - i will say that struggling is not an excuse for behaving one way, it is an explanation. while it is nice to see you acknowledging the issues involved in your previous posts throughout the past few years and i am glad you agree with us that they are inappropriate and that you have made efforts to improve yourself and your online presence in the years since, it does not change the fact you as a staff member did make these comments, especially considering they potentially exposed children less than half your age - on a website about a children's video game series that you help moderate - to talk about your sex life as someone that was at this time in your late 20s.
while, again - it is good to see you taking some semblance of accountability - it cannot erase the fact the posts were made at all and that many were exposed to them, which is the issue at hand. lesser users would have likely received warnings at minimum for posting as such on an all-ages website. it also does not change the fact users still find issues with the way you conduct yourself even into now, as the most recent incident touched upon is from this year.
i do, on this note, find it frustrating that - while you have been very active on this website according to many over the past few months - it took until this to step in at all even though you have ultimately been part of the conversation since February when the Valentine's Event occurred. i completely understand not feeling equipped to handle something, and i have a tendency to step back myself when i feel overwhelmed by a situation. however, you do have a responsibility as the moderator that caused the initial situation, and a simple announcement that you were stepping back until you were better able to approach the situation (and maybe deciding to not actively post on the website as a whole until you felt ready(?)) would have done plenty to satisfy many at the time. would you have still gotten backlash for what some would consider running away? absolutely. but it would have looked far better than ignoring the conversation entirely while still being very active elsewhere. of course, nothing can be done to change what has happened, and again - i understand struggling with response and difficulty connecting to a situation, but the responsibility still existed and the consequences as a result of this so remain, and while your own struggles are an explanation that many of us can sympathise with, they are not a justification.
regarding your last bit, i echo the sentiment from others that i do not think at this time you should be continuing as a moderator on this website. i am glad you are seeking support and improvement, but a position of power on a large website is not something you should be having while doing so. i also do not think it should be anyone's responsibility as members to have to tone-check and provide feedback towards a staff member. even if you are making this request in sincere and good faith, which i am sure you are (and i do wish you the best in continuing to improve as i keep saying & as someone who has struggled with tone myself), it comes across very oddly when you consider your position as a senior moderator - as well as repeated user frustration that they feel silenced on any staff criticism in this thread. many will likely be concerned to let you know they found issue with your wording somewhere for fear of potential staff backlash or worried that making note of this will not be seen through / responded to.
all in all and in summary, i think it may be best for you to step down - at least temporarily while you work to improve - as a moderator. your attempts to better yourself are sincerely supported, but much upset has been caused over the past few years even into the past few months and i again do not think a position of power on this website is perhaps an appropriate thing for you to have at this time while you work to correct how you present yourself because of it.
please do not infantilise or patronise everyone involved in this conversation. many - if not all - of us expressing discontent are grown adults ourselves, and the idea of growth and sympathy is not a unique one only you bear privy to. everyone is human and we have all made note of this several times over the past two months of conversation (which suggests through this comment you have not kept up with it or our grievances yourself). however, responsibilities - even voluntary - are still responsibilities.
we can express our sympathies for Chris' struggles while also expressing our criticism. change is encouraged and supported, but it is not the responsibility of others - especially not on a website you are in a position of power in - to see it through for you.
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-Apples-
Apple Imperialist
I’m with you on this. In fact, I was rather ashamed at the others. They not just ganged up against the staff, but they also got some other members leaving the forum. We all make mistakes. The staff made several other mistakes before, not just individually (like what Chris was just talking about or when Jeremy publicly argued with another member), but also as a team (for instance, they fined everyone who used the username change glitch 1,200 TBT for every free name they got). And I’m not going to let that count against them, present or future. But several members here aren’t going to forgive while they continue harsh criticism of the staff, even after they have been given guidelines on being more calm and reasonable.I'm sorry. This feels a bit like a ridiculous witch hunt - and I feel like I'm gonna get blasted, but pfft, I'm not worried about it. No feelings to hurt.
In the old posts by chris referenced earlier in this thread regarding dating, there was NO reference to dating minors that I saw, and a clear statement of:
"provided both parties are consenting adults".
The inappropriate nature of the posts has been addressed, with apologies, deleting the offensive posts, an explanation of the change in self from past to now, and a definitive promise for better moving forward.
The moderation of events and decision to handle critiques/issues in a better/private manner in future is a good decision, imo. Also, as stated earlier, there will be more detailed/clearer guidelines in future events.
My official feedback is: I can see staff is human. They are trying to address concerns and at the same time calm everything down. I hope Chris is well and continues to mod at least sometimes and host events (jackbox games! Art!). I hope future events have clear outlines of expectations and issues are handled perhaps privately or more gently.
I do not understand the intensity of what looks very much like anger/hate from community members toward the staff. It feels rather surreal. Maybe I'm just really old, and i understand people can change and grow with care and kindness.
I’m okay with criticism of the staff and opposing their decisions. We’re not always going to agree with how the staff does their job. But the way they’ve been doing it, that’s what bothers me. Another thing is that they promised that they’ll address many issues that have been going on for months, and they’ll let us discuss some problems and improvements, but their rudeness towards the staff is indeed ruining feedback for all of us, and we may never get our issues addressed it this keeps going on.
I’ve been siding with the staff ever since I joined this forum. Even though I don’t like receiving warnings or having my posts deleted, they do a great job explaining everything in detail on what’s wrong with my behavior or my posts. There was only one time I went against them. And guess what! I grew up past that point and realized that times have changed. My problem with the rudeness towards the staff isn’t just limited to this thread. Last year, we had a couple members getting rude or accusatory towards the staff during the TBT Fair. They ran the event out of kindness. But they didn’t have to do that. I agree that there were some problems with last year’s fair, but I also had problems with how some of the members received it.
I want to start by saying that I do see and respect the steps you've taken to try and improve yourself. I've seen a lot of the posts you've made this year, specifically the ones about your work situation, and I'm sorry you've been struggling. I understand how a lot of things happening at once can be overwhelming. I'm glad you've sought help for your alcohol abuse, received your ADHD diagnosis, and have taken steps to improve the way you communicate with others, and I sincerely hope that you continue to do that and move towards being the person you want to be.
All of that being said, I truly don't understand how you weren't able to make the connection that making the posts that you did here wasn't appropriate. This is an Animal Crossing forum. A public forum, might I add. I realize that the majority of the most active users here are all adults, but I feel like a lot of people here forget that the majority of the spaces on this forum are public. You don't have to be a registered member or even an adult to see most of the content on the forums, such as the WBY thread. I don't know what the other forum you moderate is for, but to echo a question that's already been asked: if people speak candidly and openly about sex and relationships on there, and that's an appropriate and safe space to do so, why did you feel the need to also do it here, on an Animal Crossing forum? I've seen people express that if they had made the posts that you made, they probably would've been moderated for it or at least had their posts removed/edited, and I believe that's true. This is going to sound rude, and I'm sorry but I genuinely don't know any other way to word this, but you are a moderator. You should know better than us that some things shouldn't be posted on an AC forum. The same rules that apply to us also apply to you (and I'm saying "you" in a general sense: all of staff).
I know this is much less severe compared to everything else now, but I also want to briefly touch on the Valentine's situation as well. As someone who struggles severely with organizing what I want to say and putting my thoughts into words (both verbally and in writing), to the point that I can take months to reply to messages sometimes, I do understand why you weren't able to give a response right away. That being said, Valentine's was over 3 months ago, and this is the first time you've addressed the situation publicly, and it's taken all of this other stuff to be brought up for you to do so. I don't know if you've spoken to sleepey and offered them an apology in private (which I sincerely hope you have), and I know this makes me a hypocrite and you're you and I'm me, but I can't imagine taking 3 months to address something like this. So many people (not just sleepey) have come forward and expressed hurt, frustration, and sadness over what happened, and we heard from everyone but you. I understand why you didn't/couldn't respond right away and why others spoke on your behalf until you were able and ready to address the situation, but I hope you understand why that only made things worse and further upset people. I don't think anyone was expecting some sort of Oscars worthy apology from you; they just wanted a sincere apology, accountability to be taken, and for good change to come from this.
I'm not trying to be an ass or dogpile on you or anyone else. Everything that I've said in this post and my previous one comes from a place of love and respect for everything this site has given me, and devastation over the anger and upset that so many people I love and respect are feeling.
This is just... a lot, and something far bigger and severe than the initial situation that started all this in February. People are angry. People who have been here for years and have undoubtedly witnessed a lot of **** here in that time are leaving or going on indefinite hiatuses. People who haven't been here in years are coming back just to say their piece. This was the final straw for a lot of people, and this isn't something that can just be silenced or placated. Apologies aren't enough now - we need action and legitimate and genuine change, and so far, we aren't seeing much of that.
As I said in my last post, I don't really know what a suitable solution to this would look like, or if there even is one. I know everything I've said probably reads otherwise, but Chris, I do genuinely respect the time and work you've put into being a moderator here. I've said to my friends numerous times that it often feels like you are the most active moderator and how I can't imagine how difficult that must be at times while also maintaining an active and busy personal life. I genuinely do admire your ability to do that, as someone who's lucky if she can manage to do more than 2 things a day. That being said, I do think stepping down or at the very least stepping away is something to consider - not just because of this situation or anyone else, but for your own best interest.
I don't have the energy to make a long post so I will quickly sum up the main things bothering me.
1. The ban.
I have seen the basis for the ban (the message from Jeremy) and it does not hold up. Not even worth a warning. In the past I had moderated several children's/teens/YA forums for over 10 years. The basis for the ban is unthinkable. Past history of the banned member doesn't matter in this case. What was used as the basis for the (1 year?!) ban is unacceptable and that's why so many people have gotten really angry. The ban needs to be reversed with honesty and with an apology. Swallow the bitter pill and stand up to the mistake.
2. The tone and attitude of the members here.
A lot of posts here are absolutely vicious in tone. I understand that there is a lot of anger and frustration but I find the tone of some members posts here unacceptable.
First off, discussion on forums should always be respectful. Full stop.
Secondly, staff are volunteers who are putting a lot of time/energy/effort in making this forum as good as they can. They are imperfect humans who are also showing openness to feedback with this thread. Deliver all your feedback. But not with a derogatory tone and attitude. Don't sound like you are trying to destroy the forums (or staff), but sound like you are trying to make them better. That should be the goal here.
3. Staff avoiding responsibility.
Sidestepping issues/criticism/responsibility. Self-explanatory. It contributes to member frustration.
Lastly, everyone please remember that people can grow. This thread is for staff/moderation/forum growth. Growth isn't evident in an instant. Only time shows if growth has happened. So please, show some grace and understanding for that.
1. The ban.
I have seen the basis for the ban (the message from Jeremy) and it does not hold up. Not even worth a warning. In the past I had moderated several children's/teens/YA forums for over 10 years. The basis for the ban is unthinkable. Past history of the banned member doesn't matter in this case. What was used as the basis for the (1 year?!) ban is unacceptable and that's why so many people have gotten really angry. The ban needs to be reversed with honesty and with an apology. Swallow the bitter pill and stand up to the mistake.
2. The tone and attitude of the members here.
A lot of posts here are absolutely vicious in tone. I understand that there is a lot of anger and frustration but I find the tone of some members posts here unacceptable.
First off, discussion on forums should always be respectful. Full stop.
Secondly, staff are volunteers who are putting a lot of time/energy/effort in making this forum as good as they can. They are imperfect humans who are also showing openness to feedback with this thread. Deliver all your feedback. But not with a derogatory tone and attitude. Don't sound like you are trying to destroy the forums (or staff), but sound like you are trying to make them better. That should be the goal here.
3. Staff avoiding responsibility.
Sidestepping issues/criticism/responsibility. Self-explanatory. It contributes to member frustration.
Lastly, everyone please remember that people can grow. This thread is for staff/moderation/forum growth. Growth isn't evident in an instant. Only time shows if growth has happened. So please, show some grace and understanding for that.
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i wasnt going to answer this at first, but this is just directed at the general audience that doesn’t get it. this behavior we are upset about is a very triggering thing to a lot of people, and the fact that it has all been deleted in the past and this is first time it has ever been formally addressed BY chris in years and years is an issue. whether or not he dated a minor isnt the issue anymore, dates can be wrong, people can misspeak, etc. when i posted my response to that post it got deleted, never got explanation, apologies, nothing. how as a community are we supposed to know something isn’t predatory behavior when it is never addressed? people on this forum have had issues with this before, if we are upset about it, thats still a very valid feeling even if you cant understand it because you might have not been a victim of it before. point is, irresponsible, not professional, and kept happening. needs to stop. period.I'm sorry. This feels a bit like a ridiculous witch hunt - and I feel like I'm gonna get blasted, but pfft, I'm not worried about it. No feelings to hurt.
In the old posts by chris referenced earlier in this thread regarding dating, there was NO reference to dating minors that I saw, and a clear statement of:
"provided both parties are consenting adults".
The inappropriate nature of the posts has been addressed, with apologies, deleting the offensive posts, an explanation of the change in self from past to now, and a definitive promise for better moving forward.
The moderation of events and decision to handle critiques/issues in a better/private manner in future is a good decision, imo. Also, as stated earlier, there will be more detailed/clearer guidelines in future events.
My official feedback is: I can see staff is human. They are trying to address concerns and at the same time calm everything down. I hope Chris is well and continues to mod at least sometimes and host events (jackbox games! Art!). I hope future events have clear outlines of expectations and issues are handled perhaps privately or more gently.
I do not understand the intensity of what looks very much like anger/hate from community members toward the staff. It feels rather surreal. Maybe I'm just really old, and i understand people can change and grow with care and kindness.
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