The Official Feedback Thread

sorry, but I don't think apologies have to be accepted. for any reason. ever

The part of my post you quoted was me saying that i accepted apologies, other people don't have to.

From my pms, if the mob succeeds in driving out a staff member for past posts they have apologized for, explained, and plan to not do again, this forum will only get smaller.

Predatory was being used to imply non-adults in the posts i was referring to.
 
So it's not like they aren't trying to address things.

removing chris from staff would take all of like 10 seconds max, even before addressing anything else, so they clearly aren't trying hard enough

(ftr, I know this because I've worked with the backend of forum software. so this is very much a quite literal up to 10 seconds, and not hyperbole)
 
You do realize that other staff can host events right?? Whether it be current staff or future staff. Chris is not the be-all and end-all. I know your memories of Jackbox games sound very glamorous✨, but it’ll be okay I promise!!

I think if people/staff can be driven out because of past posts, this forum will quickly devolve.

What happens next? Who/what topic becomes the next target? Several have already been mentioned in this thread.
 
removing chris from staff would take all of like 10 seconds max, even before addressing anything else, so they clearly aren't trying hard enough

(ftr, I know this because I've worked with the backend of forum software. so this is very much a quite literal up to 10 seconds, and not hyperbole)
Do you remember when the staff de-modded another staff member for sharing accounts with another member? The staff member didn’t get removed immediately, but agreed to step down after the next direct. Stuff like this take time.
 
The behavior I’m seeing right now is exactly what I’m talking about. Stop ganging up on Betsy. She is not calling anyone out or singling anyone out. You all are saying she has no right to say you should accept an apology. She was not asking for anyone to agree with he. She is just speaking up why others don’t like what is going on here. This thread is for everyone to give feedback. Memes are really inappropriate to post here, insulting people when they are speaking up to explain why others may be uncomfortable is really uncalled for. This is a feedback thread not argue with anyone that leaves feedback that you don’t like.
 
The part of my post you quoted was me saying that i accepted apologies, other people don't have to.

From my pms, if the mob succeeds in driving out a staff member for past posts they have apologized for, explained, and plan to not do again, this forum will only get smaller.

Predatory was being used to imply non-adults in the posts i was referring to.
I’m sorry people are upset in your DMs but it’s wild to me that you can call people disagreeing with staff “a mob” (rude), and dismiss other people for not thinking someone who has been predatory should be a staff member - but someone calling you out for being rude and dismissive is the problem?

If someone in a position of power is talking about their sex life, predatory or not, in front of children I don’t think they should remain in power - especially when the power they hold is in a child’s forum.

Again, some people in this forum are not being held to the same standard as others. If you want it to be nicey nicey all the time and think we should just accept an apology for everything maybe a feedback thread isn’t a good idea.
 
but agreed to step down

too bad I don't believe consent from chris should be a thing for the matter here

and like even if be didn't agree to step down, what is he even going to do. jeremy, and depending on the permissions settings, the other staff have all the power here. if he refused to step down and jeremy decided to boot him out of his staff role anyways, there's nothing he could do about it except to complain
 
removing chris from staff would take all of like 10 seconds max, even before addressing anything else, so they clearly aren't trying hard enough

A different perspective, some from pms i received.

People screw up. People struggle irl with many things. People change.

Some think that punishing or driving out a staff member over mistakes of the past signifies a completely unforgiving environment in which nobody can make mistakes or grow or change, and i know some have left for this very reason.

And some will leave if this is what the forum becomes.

I can see the sticking point is -
Some say they'll leave if Chris stays
Some say they'll leave if Chris is driven out
(Some have already left)

That's the biggest divide i can see.
 
I think if people/staff can be driven out because of past posts, this forum will quickly devolve.

What happens next? Who/what topic becomes the next target? Several have already been mentioned in this thread.
It's already devolving because some staff is failing to take accountability for their actions whether past or present. And if we want to go by your logic then technically Chris is the "next target" considering there is a user that was targeted and banned (unjustifiably).
 
The behavior I’m seeing right now is exactly what I’m talking about. Stop ganging up on Betsy. She is not calling anyone out or singling anyone out. You all are saying she has no right to say you should accept an apology. She was not asking for anyone to agree with he. She is just speaking up why others don’t like what is going on here. This thread is for everyone to give feedback. Memes are really inappropriate to post here, insulting people when they are speaking up to explain why others may be uncomfortable is really uncalled for. This is a feedback thread not argue with anyone that leaves feedback that you don’t like.

with all due respect, if you think disgareeing with someone and verbally expressing it to them is 'ganging up on' then you honestly need to step away for a bit
 
It's already devolving because some staff is failing to take accountability for their actions whether past or present. And if we want to go by your logic then technically Chris is the "next target" considering there is a user that was targeted and banned (unjustifiably).

Actually i can see multiple next targets based on postings in this thread.
 
That was my post, so I'll try to explain.

The posts before that had brought up a concern re: a staff member's posts. Fair.

When said staff member posted an apology, along with an explanation and a plan moving forward (also fair), this was met with more aggression, imo, along with some statements that were very disturbing. Unfair.

Trying to be non-offensive here, sorry if i fail, but will try.
If a person states their age 'preferences' but has a very CLEAR disclaimer of: providing everyone is consenting adults - that means what it says, consenting adults.

Imo it was extremely unfair and disturbing to then see members post that this person shouldn't be working with minors, that it is predatory, and they shouldn't be on staff. Very unfair.

I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to be in that person's shoes, having clearly stated only consenting adults, and now years later being labeled predatory and told to step down. Ridiculously unfair and extremely hurtful.

And the posts toward the staff member were aggressive and repetitive, and nothing the staff member could offer would satisfy anyone, the hurtful posts kept coming.

If you treat it like an Easter egg hunt, you can find numerous (like, a lot) older posts speaking of uhm, subject matter people might rather not have on the forum.

I did some searching, and boy there's some interesting older posts. 😅 Some (esp staff) have been on this forum a long time. It's probably a much different forum today than it used to be. Some things posted in the past would never be posted today by the same people.

But these posts are in the past. If the feedback was - this type of post makes people uncomfortable, maybe we shouldn't have it on the forum. Fair.

But going after staff for older posts and then refusing to accept their sincere apologies, explanations, and willingness to change and move the forums forward - very unfair.

The main themes of people i heard from -

Nothing will satisfy the people who are angry, apologies are ignored.

Fear of speaking out and becoming a target themselves when they just want people to be less aggressive.

Imo, if there's a divide, it's in the way people are treating the sincere apologies that have been offered and the nature of the posts making demands of staff (like staff stepping down) or labeling staff a certain way (see first spoiler), or the general agressiveness. Just my 2 cents before i fall asleep. 😊
I might respond more in-depth tomorrow since I'm supposed to be sleeping, but to quickly reply since I appreciate the explanation-- I feel as though a lot of context is being missed here. firstly, you mentioned the "consenting adults" example in your original post as well, and I am glad that chris reiterated that point, but the concern wasn't with that one post in particular but with a history of posts, some dating back a few years ago and some much more recent. it's also behavior that people had noticed was occurring in some of the chats during streamed gaming sessions, which are now deleted. if I'm not mistaken some of the people expressing their concerns about this are minors, or are at the very least close to it, so I think it's fair for those members (and anyone else!) to express their discomfort. again, it wasn't just the one post with a disclaimer about consenting adults, it was a history of behavior that people have noticed and chris himself has even acknowledged. to be clear I'm very glad he acknowledged this--I said as much in my previous post and pretty much everyone else who has commented on this has said so as well--but imo acknowledging it and apologizing for it is only the first step in regaining the trust and sense of comfort in those of us who were discomforted by the behavior. there are members who have been punished for much less on this forum, so I think some sort of reprimand for chris is appropriate here. you said you think it's unfair that members have posted they feel chris shouldn't be on the staff, but can I ask why that is? shouldn't the rest of staff know if a significant portion of the userbase feels that way? I don't think it's unfair to expect staff members to be held to a higher standard and if so many members are voicing their discomfort with a particular staff member that should be addressed. I genuinely do feel for chris and understand how hard it must be to read all this, but I just don't think it's unreasonable to want him to take a step back from moderating in light of all this. apologies should be met with action.

another piece of context missing is that this was all happening after a user was banned for what I truly believe most would argue was much less severe than many of chris's posts. you alluded to the fact that some of chris's posts were from years ago and people can grow in that time, and staff seems to agree with that, so I think that same grace should be given to the user who was banned. in the ban extension message he received, he was told he has received reports spanning over years. I don't think it's fair that staff members can simply apologize for something that happened years ago and move on from it while warnings that happened years ago to the banned user repeatedly get thrown in his face. and to be clear I'm not saying staff members should be removed every time they make a mistake! just that there's a double standard and I think that speaks to why people are so frustrated with this situation.

I don't think it's fair to say nothing will satisfy those who are angry, I think it's just that you and others have different ideas about acceptable recourse regarding the situation, and that's okay. it feels rather dismissive to say we'll never be satisfied when honestly, not much has really been done. I hope regardless of whether chris steps down or is reprimanded in any way, staff will take the concerns listed here seriously and provide some sort of explanation for their decision
 
I’m actually on hiatus right now, but I’m popping in quickly to clean-up some very ugly and false accusations. I understand that it was my poorly written posts in the past that has led to these miscommunications, so I feel I should address them.

  • Non-progression relationships exist. If you don’t know what that means, it is when two adults set an agreed upon boundary that their connection is not going to follow the expected milestones of traditional relationships: no labels, no moving in together, no marriage, etc. This is discussed before anything even happens to ensure everyone is on the same page about what they expect. There is no deceit or trickery. People who lie to get with someone can go to hell.

  • Many of my relationships ended as soon as intimacy was introduced because I am asexual. I was repulsed, didn’t want to engage with them again, and ended things. Not my proudest moment. It took me until last year to come to terms with being ace. Do I feel bad about being unable to communicate that to people in the past at the time? Absolutely. At the time I just felt I was the problem for being broken. I initially came out as a lesbian–for the record, because I don't think I've ever stated it directly on TBT, I am non-binary / genderfluid, I’m just more comfortable with masculine pronouns–thinking the problem was I was exclusively repulsed by relations with men.

  • The absolutely appallingly worded age comment, no defence for it, but I will provide clarification. I used to struggle to relate to people my own age because I was in a different phase of life to them. I didn’t get my first non-student placement job and permanently move out of my parents house until I was 30. Every time I tried to do these things I couldn’t cope due to my untreated neurodivergence, at the time misdiagnosed as anxiety and depression. I related better to people who were in the same stage of life I was and dealing with the same issues I was facing - people in my MSc classes who were too just trying to figure this whole adulting thing out. I absolutely misused words like ‘young’ to explain what should have been described as people who are unafraid to be goofy and be their true selves rather than conform to society’s expectations of what an adult should be - because in my private life that is exactly the type of person I am. Would I associate with people that much younger than me now? No, because we are not in the same stage of life anymore.

  • As for the post about “playing video games and chasing girls” that has been blended in with other posts to create an uglier meaning - that was just a comparison to a 15 year old boy in a thread about “how old do you feel?”. I’ve never actually “chased” anyone - if someone isn’t interested I’ve always just gotten on with my life rather than trying to make something happen.


I’m not a predator. I’ve never groomed someone. I’m not this monster that I am being made out to be. I have been a victim of sexual assault by a number of different people, starting in 1998 at age 6 and ongoing until the final instance in 2022 - the post in the What’s Bothering You thread was actually posted immediately after an assault that I was still processing. I have never and would never do to anyone else what I had done to me.

I’ll be heading away again now, but felt it was dangerous to not come back briefly to explain that these rumours circulating about me are false.
 
you said you think it's unfair that members have posted they feel chris shouldn't be on the staff, but can I ask why that is? shouldn't the rest of staff know if a significant portion of the userbase feels that way?

I've already mentioned some reasons. But to add, you may not realize this, but some members have told me they are going through contact the staff because they don't feel able to speak up here without being treated unkindly. There are people who are ok with the apologies and moving forward with new rules, and unhappy at the aggressive behavior in this thread. I do not know how many, i only know who has pm'd me. Some have left over it.

Depending on the number, this may put staff in a very difficult position.

and if so many members are voicing their discomfort with a particular staff member that should be addressed.

See above. Some members are voicing their discomfort in pms about speaking up or even reacting in this thread because they don't want to be targeted.

another piece of context missing is that this was all happening after a user was banned for what I truly believe most would argue was much less severe than many of chris's posts.

you alluded to the fact that some of chris's posts were from years ago and people can grow in that time, and staff seems to agree with that, so I think that same grace should be given to the user who was banned. in the ban extension message he received, he was told he has received reports spanning over years.

On this, i don't have the info on the banned user situation, so I'm sorry but i can't say what should be done there.

I don't think it's fair to say nothing will satisfy those who are angry, I think it's just that you and others have different ideas about acceptable recourse regarding the situation, and that's okay. it feels rather dismissive to say we'll never be satisfied when honestly, not much has really been done.

I'm really not trying to be dismissive. I'm just trying to explain that there are people reading this thread and seeing a lot of the posts as rude, mean, etc, esp toward staff, but also toward members. They may not speak up here, so most of the voices here feel that they are in the majority in demanding chris be removed from staff. But there are people who feel very differently, and they are intimidated by the behavior in this thread so don't speak publicly.

This puts staff in a tough and probably very frustrating position.

When i say nothing will satisfy some, thats just my perspective after reading the apologies from staff, and then reading the not very kind responses. Then more apologies/explanations, then more unkind responses.

I can see the forum moving forward better if there are maybe more/clear rules on subject matter allowed?
 
Hi!

I just wanted to say that I love you all.

Things get heated with family, but it's best to hug it out. Or at least I believe so!
Post automatically merged:

Please.... let's find a peaceful ground. I don't want to lose any more friends on here. I am not taking sides. I agree with some more than others, but damn, I hate this...
 
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If someone in a position of power is talking about their sex life, predatory or not, in front of children I don’t think they should remain in power - especially when the power they hold is in a child’s forum.

Rules should be the same for staff/ members imo. Go on an adventure and see how much on this type of topic has been posted everywhere in this forum by members. If there is to be a rule against it on the forum, great, fine, but it should be a clear rule for everyone to follow, staff and members alike. And you may not have seen some of the posts, but there are some interesting ones.
 
I've already mentioned some reasons. But to add, you may not realize this, but some members have told me they are going through contact the staff because they don't feel able to speak up here without being treated unkindly. There are people who are ok with the apologies and moving forward with new rules, and unhappy at the aggressive behavior in this thread. I do not know how many, i only know who has pm'd me. Some have left over it.

Depending on the number, this may put staff in a very difficult position.



See above. Some members are voicing their discomfort in pms about speaking up or even reacting in this thread because they don't want to be targeted.





On this, i don't have the info on the banned user situation, so I'm sorry but i can't say what should be done there.



I'm really not trying to be dismissive. I'm just trying to explain that there are people reading this thread and seeing a lot of the posts as rude, mean, etc, esp toward staff, but also toward members. They may not speak up here, so most of the voices here feel that they are in the majority in demanding chris be removed from staff. But there are people who feel very differently, and they are intimidated by the behavior in this thread so don't speak publicly.

This puts staff in a tough and probably very frustrating position.

When i say nothing will satisfy some, thats just my perspective after reading the apologies from staff, and then reading the not very kind responses. Then more apologies/explanations, then more unkind responses.

I can see the forum moving forward better if there are maybe more/clear rules on subject matter allowed?
one more note and then I'll go to bed for real so I'm sorry for the brevity, but I just wanna reiterate that there are also people who aren't comfortable speaking up in this thread because they've seen concerns dismissed and called hostile and aggressive. I'd hope everyone who wants to say something in here feels like they can do so and realizes that just because people may disagree it doesn't mean it's a personal attack, but if someone's not comfortable, I get staying away and keeping concerns private in the contact the staff thread. protect your peace! I just wanted to note that the vague gestures toward hostility and referring to those who disagree as the mob is hurtful for others to read as well. I'm not sure which posts some people are reading as rude, but if by chance it's any of mine, please feel free to reach out to me and let me know so I can re-examine how I'm wording things. I'm a big fan of accountability
 
Flower Power people.

Flower_Power_by_Bernie_Boston.jpg
 
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