The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[Your Local Wild Child]

Don’t invite the forest witch. She’s sure to bring excitement to any get-together!

Do you have any tips for getting a campsite set up?

 

[deana]

Make sure to leave some food out so that you can have a bear sighting! That will make for a great story to tell your friends.

How can I speed up my computer?

 

[Neb]

Go to your task manager and disable sys:main. That should free up lots of memory.

How do I stop over-analyzing everything my friends say?

 

[Ananas Dragon]

Instead, pay someone over-analyze everything your friends say

how do I do school

 

[Clock]

Look at your classmates answers
How do I chuck wood?

 

[Ananas Dragon]

ask a woodchuck

how do I stop existing

 

[Midoriya]

Do the Dirk Nowitzki fade away move... and then fade away literally (I would have said Kobe Bryant, but it’s a bit too soon for that).

How do I eat better?

 

[Ananas Dragon]

cronch harder when you chew and eat hair conditioner

how do I stop eating cronchy hair conditioner

 

[neoratz]

if you put your hair conditioner in the microwave for around 5 minutes it will melt and the crunchiness will be no more! :)

how do i fix my bricked 3ds?

 

[Peach_Jam]

yeeting it across the room should do the trick. guaranteed fix if it hits a wall.

how do I become a carrot

 

[deana]

3 easy steps to being a carrot. First paint your body orange, then dye your hair green, and lastly bury yourself in the earth


What's the best way to become a better cook?

 

[Clock]

Experiment like a scientist
How do stop a stalker?

 

[Midoriya]

Formally introduce yourself and become friends with them.

How do I use a sword?

 

[Jessi]

Trial and error

How do I tell someone I have a crush on them?

 

[Midoriya]

Ride a plane into the sky that has a very long message attached to it explaining how you feel about them.

How do I hijack a train?

 

[toxapex]

Get on a train... I will send my pal Jack to your location. He will stand at the edge of the railroad tracks. It is imperative that you do this next part. When the train passes Jack, shout "HI JACK!" at the top of your lungs. This is how you hijack a train.

Now, does anyone have tips for learning piano?

 

[Neb]

Learn the first 10 notes of Megalovania and go from there.

How do I apply for college?

 

[Xara]

drop out of high school

how should i calm my anxiety?

 

[Clock]

Breathe in a paper bag or do breathing techniques
How do I convince someone to stop?

 

[Blood Eclipse]

You give 'em one of these!

How do I stop winter procrastination?