The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[Neb]

Send the school staff the “This is Fine” meme.

How do I send a college application form?

 

[--Maya--]

You don't

How do I turn into a rhnioceros?

 

[Vintage Viola]

Join them in the wild

How do I get a crush to notice me?

 

[*~ Croissant ~*]

Smile giggle and flip your hair a lot.

Should I stay in bed all day and play Animal crossing?

 

[--Maya--]

Only if you follow these steps:
-Snatch a shirt from one of your villager's inventories and wear it on your teeth
-Brush Tom Nook's chin with a sea bass
-Turn into a dodo, then hang upside down like an elephant
-Fling a toothpick into the museam to help Blathers get over his fear of Isabelle
-And finally, move your house to the back of Harry's head.

If you follow these steps, you are legally allowed to stay in bed and play animal crossing all day. Hope this helps!

How do I catch a sea bass? I've been looking everywhere for one but never found any.

 

[Neb]

Go back to school and try to get higher grades. Preferably at least a C+.

How do I get GameStop to have better trade-in prices?

 

[EmeraldJourney]

Go back to school and try to get higher grades. Preferably at least a C+.

How do I get GameStop to have better trade-in prices?

Sell your soul and open a new place called StopGame.

How do I wish my toaster into an oven?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Make your oven eat the toaster.

How do I solve 1+1?

 

[Neb]

Multiply 1 by 2, add 6, multiply by the second power, divide by 2, and then add 37.

Where can I find some good seafood?

 

[Midoriya]

Jump into the ocean and swim for it yourself!

How do I stay warm?

 

[Kirbyz]

hug a polar bear

my back is hurting what do i do

 

[frogslime]

remove all of your nerves, heck, even your spine. now you got yourself a very flexible and very painless back.

I'm having trouble staying in a daily routine, help

 

[.: Meri :.]

Create a 24-hour time loop until you get the hang of it!

There's a hole in my shirt collar, how should I fix it?

 

[Cristaaaaal]

Put holes in the rest of your shirt and say you got it in Switzerland.

I need to bake a cake, but I'm out of butter! Help!

 

[deana]

Substitute with Vaseline, the consistency is about the same so it should be fine.


What's the best way to learn a new language?

 

[JemAC]

honestly the best way is to just read the ingredients list on food packaging, more often then not the ingredients will be listed in multiple languages - you probably won't become fluent in the language but at least you'll be able to order your favourite foods

how do I make sure I always come 1st in Mario Kart?

 

[Xara]

get rid of your opponents-

how do i lose weight?

 

[cIementine]

amputation !

i can't stop social media stalking an ex. what do i do !

 

[Megaroni]

Put on a disguise, pretend to be someone else, and befriend them with your new persona. Become their best friend. Now you don't need to stalk them!

What should I do when my cat sleeps on my homework while I'm doing it

 

[princess.looking.for.frog]

Eat the cat duh

What should i do when my homies are away at camp??