The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[frogslime]

Sleep. Sleep through it all. Sleep through your problems, your worries, your life. Just sleep. Goodnight.

Alright now, how do I hide a body?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Hide it in your closet. Use Febreze to mask out the smell.

One of my villagers is bugging me. How do I stop this behaviour?

 

[Midoriya]

Sleep. Sleep through it all. Sleep through your problems, your worries, your life. Just sleep. Goodnight.

Alright now, how do I hide a body?

Um, did you just hide my dead body in a closet and spray Febreeze over it? LOL

—-

Encourage them to keep talking to you.

I need to eat healthier. What do I do?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Eat frozen food seasoned with dish soap!

I'm mass producing donuts, but I keep eating them. Any advice?

 

[Clock]

Give it away
What is the best recipe for a meal?

 

[Midoriya]

Use everything from the “Community Salad” thread and then eat it.

How do I make the day last longer?

 

[FRANS_PLAYER]

Go to sleep

Where’s the best place to vacation?

 

[Midoriya]

In the poison ponds in Satorl Marsh in Xenoblade Chronicles.

How do I move furniture easily?

 

[FRANS_PLAYER]

Leave it there. It’ll move itself

Best video game to buy?

 

[Midoriya]

Sonic 06.

How do I make delicious food?

 

[Your Local Wild Child]

With delicious ingredients some assembly required

how do I get over my fear of deer scares?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Talk to a deer villager who will tell you that it's silly to be scared of something that's meant to scare something else.

My car has a tire puncture and yet, I don't have a spare. Any ideas?

 

[frogslime]

Puncture the rest, go big or go home.

I've been down ever since I got home, any advice?

 

[HungryForCereal]

go book a plane flight, you'll be up

i've been lazy for the past few days, how to not be lazy?

 

[Jamborenium]

inject monster energy drink straight into your blood stream

how do I escape from this kidnapper?

 

[Forthefunofit]

Kidnap him or her before they kidnap you

how can I save money on my car insurance?

 

[frogslime]

Switch to Geico p̸͉͔̦͕̥̯̈́̓̐͝ŗ̴̨̢͖͙͎̥̳͉̖̌͜ͅȍ̷̧͓̘͕̙͒̇̋͛̀̿̍̉̌͆̐͛͘g̶̨̙̼̻͇̤̦̻͓̳̦̋͋̇̒̕r̵̬̹̞͊̓̀̀̉͘ȇ̵͓͚͙́̃̀͆̾̊̊̎̚͝ş̵̞̩̥͚͉̰̙̩͎̖̻̩͍̯̀̈́̑̇̄͑̽̚͠͝͠ş̵̯̥͙͇̮̓̊͂̀͛̆̃i̸̧̡̬̺͖̲̭͉̯̗̜̟̰̼͐̇̉̀ͅv̴̡̲̝̞̥͓͙̬͕̤͐̍̊̌̂́̆͑̎̒͊͘͠ͅe̷̢͎͇͍̭̳̺̙͎̼̞͚͌̀́͜


I feel sick how to fix

 

[Xara]

essential oils

how much water should i drink?

 

[Midoriya]

The entire ocean!

How do I become interested in more music?

 

[Clock]

Listen to whatever music you hear
How do I stop a bully?