How Can I Have a More Positive Social Media Experience???

[Bubbsart]

CW/TW: r*pe and suic*de mentions
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For context: I run an Instagram acc with nearly 3.4k followers.. and some of my followers have had issues of their own... one even almost threatened suicide and that worried me. Another made r*pe jokes, lied about their age, and made sexual remarks towards fictional characters (one that they’re in love with that they headcannon to be 43 and they even have a child together). Kinning a character is fine but it can go too far... there have even been times where I have felt numb too.

I feel like there’s too much pressure being put on me to just be there for all my followers. Some days when I get a dm, I don’t even respond because I’m too mentally exhausted... and drained. I did block the person above that did make the r*pe jokes in the past after they asked to be unblocked on their private... and I did just to be nice. I felt like I should not have.

This is where I’ve really considered leaving Instagram.. but I don’t want to. All my hard work, friends, and artwork will be lost. At the time of typing this, my one week hiatus ends tomorrow. Any advice helps.

 

[Yuni]

Ah, social media is difficult because you can't really know a person from what they only show online as well as how people interpret relationships.

I don't really get what you mean about that person threatening suicide? Are they blaming or expecting something of you to they would stop? I feel like in those situations, it's best to tell them to refer to mental health services in their country.

I think that people who really enjoy your content and personality would not be bothered by how much you engage with them. They'd understand and respect that you're human and have off days etc.

It's alright to be selfish and it's ok to distance yourself from things. Maybe try to focus on what aspects you enjoyed when you first started, but don't compromise your health and wellbeing.

 

[Corrie]

Unfollow/block anyone that makes you uncomfortable. I find that we make up excuses to not do that but in turn, suffer by seeing the content we don't wanna see.

I'm going out on a limb and assuming you don't know these people so it's not like it's a friend or family where it's more awkward to block and delete them. You don't need to see that crappy content. You don't owe anyone to respond if you don't want to.

 

[Bubbsart]

Ah, social media is difficult because you can't really know a person from what they only show online as well as how people interpret relationships.

I don't really get what you mean about that person threatening suicide? Are they blaming or expecting something of you to they would stop? I feel like in those situations, it's best to tell them to refer to mental health services in their country.

I think that people who really enjoy your content and personality would not be bothered by how much you engage with them. They'd understand and respect that you're human and have off days etc.

It's alright to be selfish and it's ok to distance yourself from things. Maybe try to focus on what aspects you enjoyed when you first started, but don't compromise your health and wellbeing.

character design and making content is my favorite ^^. I’ll just try to ignore any content that’s so called crappy and attention seeking.

 

[Chris]

• Block people who make you uncomfortable - including that person who asked you to unblock them.
• Add to your profile that you do not respond to personal/general chat messages. People should not be bringing their personal problems to you.

 

[rubyrubert]

I agree with Vrisnem, you definitely don’t have an obligation to be there for all your followers and you should block people who do weird or gross things. Suicide is no joke, but a lot of people online and even really toxic people irl will threaten suicide to get you to react.

 

[Romaki]

Save the art, find another way to contact your friends and delete your account, honestly. You have absolutely no obligation to anyone online, being on your electronic should not upset you in anyway. Completely avoid things that upset you, and Instagram will be included on that list for a while as well. But taking a break will heal those wounds, and next year you can start fresh if you still consider it after a serious hiatus.

Don't forget, a toxic online environment not only harms you, but it also affects who you are even if you try to fight it. Especially at your age.

 

[Alienfish]

• Block people who make you uncomfortable - including that person who asked you to unblock them.
• Add to your profile that you do not respond to personal/general chat messages. People should not be bringing their personal problems to you.

Basically this, people tend to send lot of unasked for DM's or just post annoying comments/stories. Also never feel guilty for unfollowing like large accounts that basically post passive stuff in their stories if it's too much. Always report if they break any rules.

And yeah if it's too much I'd probably switch platforms, much like Romaki suggested.

Honestly, don't feel guilty removing/unfollowing/blocking/ignore etc. people if they get too much, post rude/inappropriate things etc. I had to unfollow quite some accounts because all they did was posting tiny dot stories about BLM every hour of the day and half of it being rude and passive-aggressive stuff. I don't mind being educated but when people do that and basically don't do any real posts I could as well be without.

 

[Bubbsart]

Thanks for all the advice folx. In the future, I’ll take a hiatus if I get overwhelmed with Insta, maybe longer than I usually do.

Post automatically merged: Jun 28, 2020

When I return from my hiatus I’ll be unfollowing and blocking mean ppl

 

[Xara]

hoo boy. i’ve had so many friends who used me as their therapist and always dumped their problems on me. of course you should be there for people but you aren’t a therapist. if someone is threatening suicide or is having suicidal thoughts, they need to be seeking out professional help, not some person on instagram.

you are not obligated to be anyone’s therapist and you are not obligated to carry anyone’s emotional baggage. set boundaries for yourself and cut off anyone who makes you upset or uncomfortable - it is not your job to fix people, especially if it’s to the point where your own mental health is being jeopardized. </3

 

[Bubbsart]

Basically this, people tend to send lot of unasked for DM's or just post annoying comments/stories. Also never feel guilty for unfollowing like large accounts that basically post passive stuff in their stories if it's too much. Always report if they break any rules.

And yeah if it's too much I'd probably switch platforms, much like Romaki suggested.

Honestly, don't feel guilty removing/unfollowing/blocking/ignore etc. people if they get too much, post rude/inappropriate things etc. I had to unfollow quite some accounts because all they did was posting tiny dot stories about BLM every hour of the day and half of it being rude and passive-aggressive stuff. I don't mind being educated but when people do that and basically don't do any real posts I could as well be without.

TW: suici*e
















Bottom line you’re right. I’ll be putting accounts that are a DNI to me on restrict mode so that way I can keep an eye on their posts and that if it does happen again, I’ll block them. The one that did the threatened s*ic*ide hasn’t done it since. For context, they have dissociative identity disorder so the alter currently fronting may have caused it...

I’ll be slowly blocking out the toxic people.

Also another one of my followers did a similar thing but with Tiktok and deleted the platform off their phone. They sighted the toxicity as the main reason behind deleting the app.

 

[Alienfish]

Sounds like a good idea. And yeah I can only imagine the toxicity of TikTok...

 

[Bubbsart]

hoo boy. i’ve had so many friends who used me as their therapist and always dumped their problems on me. of course you should be there for people but you aren’t a therapist. if someone is threatening suicide or is having suicidal thoughts, they need to be seeking out professional help, not some person on instagram.

you are not obligated to be anyone’s therapist and you are not obligated to carry anyone’s emotional baggage. set boundaries for yourself and cut off anyone who makes you upset or uncomfortable - it is not your job to fix people, especially if it’s to the point where your own mental health is being jeopardized. </3

You’re right... definitely. I guess there are times where I need to let go of my niceness. Think of it this way. My friend lost her dad in March and it definitely has been tough for her. She doesn’t post to her insta story about how she is so “insert x and y and wants to insert bad action here”.

Post automatically merged: Jun 28, 2020

Sounds like a good idea. And yeah I can only imagine the toxicity of TikTok...

Geez you’re right.

Also what’s a VM?? Voice message??

 

[Romaki]

It is not your job to take on someone else's trauma. If you want to help anyone, advice them to get help from a mental health professional instead of sharing it with a teenager online. You're definitely not equipped to deal with this kind of emotional baggage from someone else.
There's a big difference between venting about your day and threatening self-harm. Real friends won't think less of you if you're not available 24/7 or don't want to talk about adult/dark topics. No one should be using you like this, it's not fair to you. You're clearly struggling because of it.

 

[namiieco]

You're not obliged to help people, especially people you don't even know. Only do what you are comfortable with and remember to take a step away from social media once and a while to focus solely on yourself.
I'm also currently on a social media hiatus and it feels so liberating to be away from instagram in particular lol

Also what’s a VM?? Voice message??

Yup in general voice message, I would assume. Or in TBT terms visitor message.

 

[Bubbsart]

There's a big difference between venting about your day and threatening self-harm. Real friends won't think less of you if you're not available 24/7 or don't want to talk about adult/dark topics. No one should be using you like this, it's not fair to you. You're clearly struggling because of it.

This is something I never realized. I should be more vocal about it next time..

 

[sleepydreepy]

I know its stressful to read comments like that, but I'm getting the impression that they are people you do not know and do not want to be associated with, so it would be beneficial to you to simply block them and/or delete the comments. Initially I would say turn off comments entirely, but if you want to communicate with your follows that might be impossible, so just ignoring/blocking the comments would be best. Perhaps you could also make a post about mental health with some resources these people can go to so you are not shutting them out entirely? You shouldn't have to sacrifice your hard work for this if you don't have to!

 

[Bubbsart]

I know its stressful to read comments like that, but I'm getting the impression that they are people you do not know and do not want to be associated with, so it would be beneficial to you to simply block them and/or delete the comments. Initially I would say turn off comments entirely, but if you want to communicate with your follows that might be impossible, so just ignoring/blocking the comments would be best. Perhaps you could also make a post about mental health with some resources these people can go to so you are not shutting them out entirely? You shouldn't have to sacrifice your hard work for this if you don't have to!

1. I don’t know them
2. I put mental health hotlines at the bottom of all my posts. Maybe I could expand with more hotlines.
3. I’ll try to ignore the comments.
4. I may make a post about why I took a hiatus when I return Monday.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

My short answer to that question is:

You can't lol. Hence why I try to avoid it.

 

[moo_nieu]

I uninstalled them because I couldn't help but feel like I was comparing myself to others :/ If you're burned out, and you really don't want to quit I'd suggest being honest with your followers and letting them know you need time for self-care/to de-stress