don’t need advice anymore! <3

[SpaceTokki77]

out of all places to ask for dating advice, i never thought it would be this one. yet, here i am.
so, a few months ago, i met this girl. she’s someone who i’ve gone to school with and lives in the same town as me, but we’ve never really noticed each other. but i’ve started talking to her and we’ve become really great friends. and it kinda seems like we speedran friendship, like we’re already at the point where we can hug without it seeming weird or saying ”love you” when hanging up. but i’m usually one to go slow with friendships since i get hurt a lot, so as you may have guessed, she is the one who started those two things. ive developed a crush on her, and she keeps dropping signs like “if you asked me out, i’d probably say yes”. dating and stuff is a common topic in our discussions, so once or twice, one of us has implied or said something about us two, but nothing that directly said that we wanted to go out together. basically i haven’t dated enough in my life to know whether or not she likes me, so im not sure if i should ask her out. on one hand, she did say she would say yes, but she’s also made it clear she’s kind of desperate for a partner. as well as the fact is was like 1 am when she said that. and on the other hand, if she said no, it would ruin our friendship :c
does anyone have any advice?

 

[ahbramey]

If she literally said "If you ask me out I'd say yes", then I think that implies she's interested in dating you!

 

[Hypno KK]

If she said she'd say yes if you asked her out, that sounds like a pretty strong hint! If you want to try to go out with her, I'd say ask her. That's the best way you'll know for sure if she meant that or not. What are you afraid could happen if you ask her out?

It's also ok if you'd rather wait to get to know her better. I'd probably try to mention this, whether directly or by saying something like how you like to know someone better before you ask them out -- just so she doesn't think you're 100% uninterested.

I can see why her desperation would be an issue because it's hard to say if she's desperate but interested in you specifically or acting just out of that desperation. This might be something you'll want to figure out sooner rather than later.

 

[neoratz]

if she said no, it would ruin our friendship :c

why do you think it would ruin your friendship? would it be too hard for you, personally, to continue the friendship if you were rejected? or are you afraid of how she would feel towards you? if you're comfortable with it, i think it's possible to stay friends. you could even share that concern with her, so she knows how much you value your friendship!

it sounds like the feeling is definitely mutual. if it doesn't work out in the end, that's ok. if you feel like you would be able to manage heartbreak, i think you can still maintain your friendship with open and honest communication (in the case things don't stick).

and, if it DOES work out, that'll be great!!! i think it's worth trying to talk to her about it. you can share all these thoughts with her when you talk. even though your friendship has been fast, 2 months is a pretty decent amount of time and i don't think it sounds like you're being hasty. whatever you decide to do, good luck!

It's also ok if you'd rather wait to get to know her better. I'd probably try to mention this, whether directly or by saying something like how you like to know someone better before you ask them out -- just so she doesn't think you're 100% uninterested.

I can see why her desperation would be an issue because it's hard to say if she's desperate but interested in you specifically or acting just out of that desperation. This might be something you'll want to figure out sooner rather than later.

i also agree with this!!! if you think you need more time, there's nothing wrong with expressing it.

 

[sleepydreepy]

Coming from personal experience I think you should come forward with your feelings whether or not she feels the same way, its better to know now than later. I developed a huge crush on a friend of mine who also hinted at having a crush on me but we never did anything about it. We became very close and developed an intense emotional relationship (not romantic) but then long story short she went off and dated another girl. Obviously this was hard on me, and even after they broke up I wasn't able to continue being just friends with her because I still had a huge crush on her. There's more to the story but it isn't related, and basically I'm just trying to say unless you are confident your feelings will go away if you stayed just friends, you should probably say something before you're in too deep

 

[Firesquids]

Sounds like she's into it to me. Sometimes you've got to put yourself out there, I'd say go for it!

 

[daringred_]

i say go for it! i was in a similar situation with a girl, although we don't live anywhere near each other and met online. my memory is weak sauce, and it was three years ago, so i don't remember a lot of our "hint dropping", but in the end i basically just came out and asked her if she wanted to be in a relationship. she said yes, and i sat on it for a few days because it's long distance and i wasn't sure how well i'd "cope" with it. then i just straight up referred to her as my girlfriend (to quote, "spotify is homophobic for not letting me follow my girlfriend") and that was basically it. boom, we were dating and have been for three years now. what you're describing reminds me a lot of how she and i started out, except neither of us ever (as far as i remember) said anything close to, "if you asked me out, i'd probably say yes," until i actually asked her that asdfghjk. safe to say that if she's saying that without prompting, there's a very good chance she likes you.

 

[Croconaw]

She’s definitely interested if she’s saying things like “if you ask me out I’d say yes.” I say this from experience… You regret the things you don’t do. You never know if you might lose the chance to tell her. Good luck.

 

[SpaceTokki77]

tysm everyone to clarify, i'm scared of how it would affect the friendship because of her feelings. i would definitely like to continue being friends, despite the awkwardness if she did reject me. i'm supposed to call her later tonight so i will update c':

 

[whimsu]

I am heeeere for the update lol.

 

[Croconaw]

I am heeeere for the update lol.

Aren’t we all? I’m intrigued.

 

[SpaceTokki77]

so i called her and she mostly just showed me her guitar, nothing new haha sorry to disappoint u guys >_< gonna debate how to ask her, i plan to try very soon! gimme some ideas

 

[SpaceTokki77]

guys... i asked her earlier today and she said yes!! she said she was trying to drop hints since we became close friends. i’m literally so happy rn, tysm everyone for your advice <3 we’re going out to eat this weekend!

 

[Aquilla]

I'm so happy for you! It takes a lot of courage to confess, so I'm glad you did it and that it worked out!

 

[TillyGoesMeow]

I just wanted to say congrats!!