Do you care what others think about you?

[SkyKnight03]

I'll be honest. I think having a little care is healthy. This is why we take care of ourselves hygienically and whatnot.

But the perception we create in our heads of ourselves is different from the reality of how others view us. (...at least that's what I learned from my college psychology professor)? so I don't think dwelling on it obsessively is good. Self love can be a good form of love.

I would say that as someone diagnosed with GAD, I constantly dwell on saying the wrong thing or thinking back on past conversations feeling I made a fool of myself. That's about my extent of it.

I was called 'highly eccentric' by someone and was kinda confused on what to make of it. Then I settled that it makes no difference and that I wouldn't change regardless of if I knew the meaning behind that or not.

 

[Croconaw]

I want to say that I don't, but that would be a lie. Truthfully, I care more than I'll ever admit to.

I rushed into having my teeth fixed because of a comment from someone from my childhood. They said they recognized me because of my teeth. The procedure had to be done, but I wasn't ever planning on it that soon. I'm glad they are fixed now, but part of me wishes that I'd done it for myself. There's always going to be that lingering thought that the surgery happened because I cared too much about what someone else thought of me.

It's normal and valid to care what people think, but we have to realize that their opinions of us won't change because of anything we do. You can't force someone to like you, or even acknowledge you, if they don't.

 

[Dunquixote]

I want to say I don’t but I honestly do a bit. I guess you can say I’m a bit of a people pleaser. I want to be liked. Part of it might have to do with the fact that I never had a lot of friends and even now, I struggle with making friends and also because I have self esteem issues.

 

[Xara]

Very much so. I want to be liked by everyone, as unrealistic as I know that is, and I question everything about myself and my existence the second I feel someone doesn't like me or like I said/did something embarrassing or weird.

I'm a chronic people pleaser. I never want to bother or upset anybody. I could be on fire and someone with a glass of water could be next to me, and I wouldn't ask them to use their water to put me out because what if they're thirsty?? I solemnly text my friends first because what if they're busy and I'm bothering them?? I don't contribute to conversations very often because what if what I have to say is wrong or stupid? I overthink and doubt everything I do and say because I'm scared to accidentally come across as weird or annoying, and I would rather cut my arm off than have someone not like me.

I'm a big believer that everyone should do and be what makes them happy so long as it doesn't hurt anyone, but it's hard to practice what you preach sometimes.

 

[Midoriya]

There may have been a time where I did years ago, but to be honest I really don't anymore. I'm always self-analyzing, so really I care more about what I think of myself than what others think about me.

 

[Neb]

I’ve always cared way too much. To the point where I’ve messaged people and asked them if they disliked me bluntly (do not do this. It rarely ends well). Whenever I look at anime stuff in public I’m always afraid of someone looking at what I’m doing and judging me for it like I was when I was younger.

Whenever I’m in public I worry about how people view my appearance and behavior. No matter what I do I always feel like I’m doing something wrong.

 

[Chris]

Nope.

I've hit a point in life where being true to myself is more important than being liked. Upside, through being more myself and not caring what people think, I established a new friendship group in my 30s of like-minded people. I can 100% be myself around them with no shame. I'm LGBT, neurodivergent, I've nerdy hyper-fixations, I play a TTRPG, I openly stim, and my in-person behaviour can be read as childish (I'm very high energy and optimistic). None of my friends give a crap because they're also all queer, nerdy, neurospicy people.

I'm also unapologetically myself in the workplace. I have a job doing something I love, I'm good at it, and my colleagues repeatedly compliment my enthusiasm and eagerness to engage with them and our pupils. One of my colleague laughs at my ear defenders but oh well. Unsurprisingly, when I was chaperoning a school trip last week several neuroatypical pupils immediately took a liking to me even though they didn't engage much with their classmates. By being myself I find people who are similar to me end up being drawn to me. And I like that I can be a safe person that other LGBT and neurodivergent people feel comfortable approaching.

If someone doesn't like me because of who I am and how I present, then sod 'em. They're not the sort of people I think I want to be associating with anyway.

I spent way too many years caring about what other people thought about me and feeling ashamed of myself for it. Some days that still hits, but then I sleep it off and the next day I'm back to being fully comfortable in myself.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

It sort of depends on what it is you’re talking about. If it’s about my opinions and own individual thoughts then no I don’t care what you think of me because I am not going to pretend to agree with you when I don’t and I’m not going to change my mind if you try to force me just because you think I’m wrong. Give me a valid reason as to why I need to change my mind and I might do it. Just don’t call me stupid for having a different opinion because that is why I basically stopped telling people my opinions and only tell them when asked.

If it’s about how I act then yeah I sort of care because I’m autistic and if you are actively telling me that I need to change or laugh at the way I talk or act then you’re basically being ableist because maybe it’s my autism that is causing me to act that way and I don’t appreciate you telling me that I must change everything about myself just to fit into society. Why must I be the one who has to change the way I think and act in order to be deemed socially acceptable? Why can’t it be society itself that changes to accept autistic people and treat them like actual human beings with thoughts and feelings and not try to force them to conform to society’s expectations of them? I’m sick and tired of being called “rude” just because I don’t maintain eye contact during conversations because it makes me physically uncomfortable after two minutes of maintaining it or because I don’t always smile at people when I first see them because I think it feels fake especially if I don’t feel happy at the time or just neutral, sometimes not realize that I’m too close to someone because I don’t notice that I’m in their personal space in a store because something on the shelf has my full attention and that’s all I really notice, or for occasionally being too loud which isn’t completely my fault because I have this weird issue where I can’t tell that I’m talking too loudly. The people who act like I’m the “rude” one are the ones that are truly being rude as they just try to force me to conform without asking me what is causing me to be this way while they often take selfies in places where they shouldn’t or take photos or videos of others without their permission or act like they know absolutely everything there is to know and try to tell others how they should think or act.

 

[Romaki]

I mean, kinda? I want to look good and be accepted by others, essentially. But I also go my own way and have no fear of being alone. It just sucks to have to be alone, but I prefer that over bad company. I guess I don't care enough to make myself more likable to more people.

 

[mogyay]

yes, i'm a huge people pleaser, i'll do almost anything to stay on people's good side even if that means more work for me, my anxiety is at it's worse when i think i've upset or annoyed someone so i do everything in my power to be liked or at least accepted, it's almost kind of a selfish reason - i do it for my own peace of mind. it's the only way i can keep myself functioning. i tend to fall apart if i think someone is annoyed at me as i'll start seeing myself in a negative light or concentrate for days on a single negative comment. even if i don't personally like someone i'd still prefer they liked me lol.

the exception to that is online, while i still prefer to be liked and care what people think it's less important to me because i struggle to develop deeper bonds online (with the exception of a few!)

 

[ShadowLelouch97]

To a degree, yes. Especially if it's someone I hold in especially high regard. Much like mogyay, I'm also a people pleaser and go out of my way to be in someone's good books. It'll absolutely crush me if someone I hold in that regard thinks I'm annoying or doesn't like me, and I don't like that. I never learned to not care how others think about me. Dang it!

 

[nightglow]

Not really. People gonna think what they want even if it's a complete lie. That doesn't mean I don't try to have good relationships or encounters with others. And people are gonna have different opinions and perspectives.
I also think I have too much of my own stuff to deal with than to worry about small stuff.
Maybe I would care more if my past wasn't what it was? I think things that you had to deal with and your personality effect this.
I do know many who reach their 40s and 50s tend to care less and feel the freedom of that change in thier lives and they've talked about it online. But it could be about clicks so idk.

 

[Doo]

Wayyyy too much, it controls my life completely.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

I still do, but it's not as bad as it used to be. I wouldn't change myself to fit in or to be liked by everyone now, but I still feel bad when someone has a negative opinion on me. It doesn't help that I have self-esteem issues, but I try not to let other people's perspective on me bother me (too much).

A few weeks ago, I let one of my friends play with my hair during class. I noticed a few classmates whispering and pointing. I didn't say anything, but deep down I was annoyed (and, admittedly, upset) about it. Why does it matter to them? Anyway, if I was in this situation a few years ago, I think I would've pulled away from my friend and dwell on the situation for a good while. But, honestly? I almost forgot this happened until I stumbled across this thread.

TL;DR - Yes, I do care about what people think of me, but not nearly as much as I did in the past.

 

[Seastar]

Unfortunately, I do care. If someone were to admit they hated me or something else about me, it would bother me a lot and I wouldn't be able to ignore it. There are some things about myself that I tell almost no one because I have a huge fear of someone ruining it and then I won't be happy with myself anymore or even be scared of using whatever site it happens on. The fear is so bad that I get anxiety when I finally do tell someone.
I suppose this is why I stay far away from toxic environments like social media.

Oh, and in real life? Uh, I don't leave the house very often anymore. There are things I don't tell my family out of embarrassment, if that counts.

 

[Yoshi155]

Nvm what I wrote was so cringe. Short answer, yes, sadly I do care.

 

[Tude]

I'll be honest. I think having a little care is healthy. This is why we take care of ourselves hygienically and whatnot.

Nah. Even if I were completely isolated from everyone, I'd still wash my ass. I can't stand being nasty lol

I don't care what people think of me simply because it's my life to live, not theirs.

 

[ribbitribbon]

i do care a lot. i try to appease everyone and am very conflict avoidant. due to my social anxiety i get really anxious about losing friends and surpress some of my interests for fear of driving people away.

 

[Halloqueen]

I care to a degree but it doesn't dictate my life.

I strive to conduct myself with kindness, courteousness, patience, understanding and empathy in my interactions with others. Even then, though, no one is ever going to be liked by everyone and no one is going to like everyone either. As long as I'm putting forth my best effort, am willing to analyze how situations play out and correct my mistakes, which we all make, then at that point it just is what it is.

I've always been a shy, quiet person and am introverted. I don't really need that much social interaction, my friends and family suffice. As it pertains to large groups, I'm someone who prefers to just blend in with the crowd, or be the shadow in the corner of the room, and not draw attention to myself unless necessary. I rather dislike being the center of attention.

I will say, though, that as part of my shy, quiet nature, I'm not the best at communicating vocally; I feel like there's a filter between my brain and mouth sometimes and that I probably come off as dumb to strangers sometimes since I don't know them yet, and am thus less comfortable engaging in conversation and am more prone to mushmouth. I'm self-conscious about that, but at least as I've gotten older it has been becoming a bit easier and I hope that someday my social anxiety will be a thing of the past.

Aside from the social anxiety, though, I'm fairly self-assured and don't need other people to validate how I live my life. People can think what they want of me; they will anyway.

 

[Suguri]

Yes. It's why I felt so grumpy during my sophomore year of high school.