Best comebacks after being insulted?

[Croconaw]

What were some of your best comebacks after being insulted? I thought it would be fun to have a thread like this.

 

[TheCreeperHugz]

*fighting with my cousin*
Cousin: You fight like a dairy farmer :/
Me: How appropriate, you fight like a cow

Not sure why she told me that I fight like a dairy farmer though...

 

[BellGreen]

Whenever people say something mean, I say either:
"We all know you are."
"Why are you talking about yourself?"

 

[rosiekitty405]

*Someone calls me something
Me: it takes one to know.

 

[Chris]

The ones that you think up on the spot that are specific to the situation/the person you are talking to are the best, not the generic ones. I think it'd be a little pathetic to list examples - but the amount of times I respond to people and my crew or friends will start laughing or shout "oh my God, Tina!!" and I'll be like "what?" until I realise I've been too honest in my rebuttal. >.<

 

[iLoveYou]

" No u "

&

" No one asked u "

Those seem to be working for me really well so far. {:

 

[KarlaKGB]

" No u "

&

" No one asked u "

Those seem to be working for me really well so far. {:

Keyword: seem

 

[Alienfish]

Usuallt ignores them unless they are ****s and fun to argue with.

 

[Zeiro]

YOUR MOM. Just kidding.

Laugh. Just laugh maniacally and walk away.

 

[dollydaydream]

Mum- 'why is your stuff all over the floor?'
Me- 'gravity mum'

OR

me- 'so that if somebody comes in and tries to kill me they'll trip and die.

Or when somebody insults you, take out you're hand and make little notes with your finger. They'll probably ask what you're doing, and usually i reply, 'oh I'm sorry, I figured since you seem to know everything about me and what's good for me, that I should make some notes, seeing as it looks like you're the official adjudicator of my life an all. So please, do continue, because I care oh so very much.'

 

[Celestefey]

i never make comebacks. it's just better not to really in my opinion, because they're stupid or i just cannot be bothered to even pay attention to whoever is being rude to me. why bother waste your energy on someone like that...

 

[Cazqui]

Hmm depends on the situation. But I usually just resort to stupid pop culture simple one word slang and I get praised like a cat in ancient Egypt.

 

[Midoriya]

For awhile I was hanging out with friends where we would throw comebacks at each other and get into fights a lot. I don't really use comebacks anymore because I've learned it's more mature not to continue the argument. I'd rather just fall back or change the subject, which is way more effective imo

 

[kyasarin]

That's what she said.

 

[Zanessa]

Usually I'll just tell them to screw themselves or correct their awful grammar. That gets them to shut up 9/10 times.

 

[oath2order]

"You ****ing potato."

 

[Amyy]

I know you are but what am i

AHAHAHAHAH

 

[Steve Canyon]

I usually just narrow my eyes and smirk until they break eye contact and walk away.

or... if theyre right I may agree with them like "yeah my breath fu**ing stinks ive been smoking and drinking coffee all night, now ask me whether or not i care"

once some guy was like "hey is it really sunny out there haha lolol" bec. i walked into on night shift with my sunglasses (not on... just carrying them, cant leave them in my car)... I stopped, looked him in the eye, and said "well it will be when I get off" and kept looking at him...

but I hardly ever have someone argue with or insult me, people tell me I look very serious, and my sis once said that when people argue with me I give them a look like theyre stupid... usually i just let people talk themselves into a corner and then when theyre done ranting I simply, quietly, re-state what I said to begin with (happens at work alot)

 

[ForestRabbit]

The Dude's come back from The Big Lebowski. It usually works.

Also I do this in a joking way.

 

[heichou]

(This is best said in a Southern cowboy drawl)

I'm no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one.