Am I crazy?

[sn0wxyuki]

People tends to think whoever go for counseling from psychology doctor are crazy. But I think not.

I have minor depression. I really wish to seek help from psychology doctor but of cause my parent will not allow this, nor anybody I know. Everyone will just say "those are for people with mental problem".

But they just don't understand or even notice my frequent unhappiness, and admit myself that suicidal thought do cross my mind. I told this once to my best friend that I need help from doctor, but I don't know where. I have no access to the doctor without letting my parent know about this. Sometimes I can feel all down to the earth that I wish I just die now, sometimes I am all fine and nothing seem to bother me. I just feel so distress.

What should I do? I been thinking this or a long long time...I don't know what to do, is just a feeling that keep coming on and off, perhaps because I feel nobody around me actually understand how I really feel or ever notice if I am unhappy (they just ignore me I think). It takes me a while to type all this too. I know clearly nobody around me will even understand why I need help in this so I have nowhere I can tell this out except here which I am so active at. Sorry if this topic bother anyone...><

 

[Leanne]

Okie, I'm not really a psychologist, but...

Visiting a psychologist is really normal and people do it for various reasons. I have a psychologist I see twice a week, but it's not related to depression, but to help me with my learning disability. My oldest brother used to go because he was extremely shy, but never depressed. None of us are or were crazy, and at least where I live, I don't see people thinking seeing a psychologist if for crazy people. Or at least, I have never been picked on because of it.

I have been told that thinking about death is a really normal and human thing, as long as it isn't very frequent.

If you think you need help, seek it. People are not as bad as they look, and I don't think all of them will think you're crazy or even judge because of your problems. There are always those who do, but they are almost always a minority (It's hard to please everyone, after all!). Tell a teacher in your school, tell your parents directly. No matter what you decide to do, your parents will find out, and it's better if you do. Even if family seems distant sometimes, they are the closest and best support you will ever get for your problems.

Talk with somebody about your problems. Your friends, your parents, your teachers. It's really bad to just accumulate bad things in your head and do nothing about it. If you think you need help, tell your parents to let you see a doctor. No parent will ever ignore the feelings of their child, as long as the child is making things clear. ^^

 

[yosugay]

i think the best thing to do is befriend people with similar problems so that you can support each other through your hard times yknow? that way when you feel like you need someone to talk to, you can have someone close that will understand how you feel which is very important and they can assist you in any way possible. you wont feel alone and misunderstood which is also important. its also good to see a psychiatrist if thats what makes you comfortable.

- - - Post Merge - - -

its also very normal to see a psychiatrist. i know many people who have either been to one in the past or currently see one

 

[meo]

I think Leanne really put it all out on the table in a beautiful way.

You're right in that you're not crazy. It is a normal thing and almost everyone has gone through a period of extreme unhappiness. It doesn't mean there's something terribly wrong with you. However a psychologist is a very useful tool in working through it because we can't always work through it on our own. Sometimes just talking about it to someone unbiased and nonjudgmental is really refreshing. Sadly the people closest to us aren't always truly qualified or equipped to productively help either which is also where a psychologist comes in.
Just sit down with your parents and explain to them how you're feeling. Let them know that the reason you're coming to them with this is because you want to feel better and that you know you can't do it alone or with just the help of them. It's up to you if you want to include the suicidal thoughts...you know your parents best. If you do, I would probably mention it last and that you don't want to worry them but that it's an example of why you really feel it's best to see someone. Tell them that you want them involved to help you find a experienced and reputable psychologist and even maybe they could sit in on a few sessions with you...because it is truly helpful for them to at some point sit in not just for you but for them as well as parents to understand what you're experiencing.
If your parents absolutely refuse then seek out a trusted teacher. Someone who will advocate for you. Sometimes it takes another adult to kindly and respectfully also reenforce that this is what you want and need.
All I can say is that if it's truly depression...it's not going to pass easily and if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts you really need to reach out. It won't be easy but having the support you need is such a key part of working through it. I really hope that your family is able to see that and can be a part of that support system. Just remember that all things pass in time and while you may feel really down one moment...there will be so many amazing moments if you just wait to experience them.

 

[Jake]

you are not crazy, you are willing to seek help and i dont see how thats "crazy"

also i feel you, i know what its like to want help but to be afraid.

Tbh if you really want to see a doctor, there are online counseling sights which your parents wont know about (unless they monitor your browsing history, but you can just delete/incognito)

 

[emeraldfox]

You aren't crazy at all! I have depression and my doctor told me that I need to see a psychiatrist. I suggest going to the doctors with a parent and telling the doctor that you think you have depression. They will either suggest psychology, prescribe something, or say you are fine. Good luck!~ (sorry I can't be of much more help)

 

[sn0wxyuki]

I am glad I received a different reply from people around me. Once I showed them the psychiatrist's name card I took from a clinic, my friend look at me weird, cause they said this are only for crazy people who have mental problem.

I don't know how to tell my parent as they are my biggest problem. I feel so grounded even I am not. I feel so isolated from outside. I no longer a kid who you tell me what should or should not do. I want to be living myself out there, all my freedom. I realized my depression gone worst last September when I finally moved back home. I want to be out but I feel I am nowhere to run. Feeling so lost and I really consider to get a psychiatrist just, when I am not depress I don't know how to tell people my problem, and how can they help me? Would they just advice me like "stop thinking so much" "talk to your parent(I don't think they ever care/try to understand/want to know me)" "go out, have fun with friends" omg I don't want all this >< maybe they can really help, I just haven't know yet.

I can be so depress and so down in the while and next, I am alright like nothing actually make me sad just awhile ago. Guess people do have mood swing huh? But I have this weird thought, I wish to be sick and get hospitalized. Is a crazy, stupid idea, nobody wants to be in the hospital. But I do! there's where I feel love from people around me. Normally, nobody cares how I feel, even they see me upset, they just ignore.

 

[KermitTea]

I feel you, I had mood swings a lot last year - about school, family, whatnot, yes, I thought about death (I mean, it's pretty normal. Everyone thinks about death at some point in their life). My parents got divorced, my grandpa got cancer, it was crazy and I started thinking about the purpose of living.
I think it's just a phase in life. Today, I just think about how lucky I am to be able to enjoy living, and I think about how many people have conditions harder than me.
You might think talking to your parents or friends won't help, but keeping it inside is even worse.
Maybe you could start writing it down and just letting it all go.
All a psychologist does is make you talk, literally. Think of your feelings as a tornado or cyclone. It will keep raging inside of you until you let it go, and it will eventually die down.
Don't worry, you will be okay <3 you may think no one cares about you, but you may be surprised even though you don't know how to tell other people your problems, they can still try to help you. And when you think you have it hard, think about other people who are going through a harder time than you.
Stay strong and keep going. Don't give up

 

[Aloft]

My depression comes and goes fairly quickly.. My parents argue all the time, and drama happens at school a lot for me as well. I fell you, although the situation you're in is kind of rough. What I usually like to do to calm down is think about the meager, good things I see in everyday life... Stay strong, there are people watching over you. Perhaps you just haven't noticed yet..

 

[sn0wxyuki]

I feel you, I had mood swings a lot last year - about school, family, whatnot, yes, I thought about death (I mean, it's pretty normal. Everyone thinks about death at some point in their life). My parents got divorced, my grandpa got cancer, it was crazy and I started thinking about the purpose of living.
I think it's just a phase in life. Today, I just think about how lucky I am to be able to enjoy living, and I think about how many people have conditions harder than me.
You might think talking to your parents or friends won't help, but keeping it inside is even worse.
Maybe you could start writing it down and just letting it all go.
All a psychologist does is make you talk, literally. Think of your feelings as a tornado or cyclone. It will keep raging inside of you until you let it go, and it will eventually die down.
Don't worry, you will be okay <3 you may think no one cares about you, but you may be surprised even though you don't know how to tell other people your problems, they can still try to help you. And when you think you have it hard, think about other people who are going through a harder time than you.
Stay strong and keep going. Don't give up

I thought I am the only weirdo cause everyone seem afraid of death. But to me, death is a cycle of life I am not afraid of.

And the thing is, I feel lucky and enjoy living after my lovely 3DS XL came into my life lol not sure why but yea this help me become better a lot.

- - - Post Merge - - -

My depression comes and goes fairly quickly.. My parents argue all the time, and drama happens at school a lot for me as well. I fell you, although the situation you're in is kind of rough. What I usually like to do to calm down is think about the meager, good things I see in everyday life... Stay strong, there are people watching over you. Perhaps you just haven't noticed yet..

I agreed with you. I whined, I get sad, I grounded myself in my room and not even have the appetite to eat, I just hate everybody << my mood sometimes. But when people show concern and I find they actually care about me, I feel awkward and how should I react to this?! I don't want be so dramatic and say the mushy dialogue lol life's trolling.

 

[Princess Weeb]

Due to personal experience I found phsycologists pretty useless, but venting to strangers on the internet extremely helpful, but that might just be me. I find it easier to talk to people online and their advice is always much better or realistic, and it isn't even on a physicological help webpage~

 

[chillv]

Visiting help from a professional is not crazy. With that logic, calling the official customer service line for a product is crazy.

Now if you don't mind, let me give you some enlightenment.

 

[sn0wxyuki]

Visiting help from a professional is not crazy. With that logic, calling the official customer service line for a product is crazy.

OMG!! you make me laugh lols!! But I should try the one you say =x I will bug them with any random product xD

- - - Post Merge - - -

Due to personal experience I found phsycologists pretty useless, but venting to strangers on the internet extremely helpful, but that might just be me. I find it easier to talk to people online and their advice is always much better or realistic, and it isn't even on a physicological help webpage~

Erm my friend told me the same. And they actually quite costly (and you paid them to listen to you).

 

[chillv]

Eh hem!

No matter what happens in life or whatever people say to you, please DO NOT KILL YOURSELF, even if you feel like doing it. Always know that you are important and you mean a lot, especially to those who love you. And always know that no matter what, at the end of the day, they love and care about you.

 

[sn0wxyuki]

Eh hem!

No matter what happens in life or whatever people say to you, please DO NOT KILL YOURSELF, even if you feel like doing it. Always know that you are important and you mean a lot, especially to those who love you. And always know that no matter what, at the end of the day, they love and care about you.

>< erm true....I don't agree with suicide plus is so much pain and trouble to others (imagine the one seeing you hang yourself gonna be traumatize for life). Now I am feeling much better and normal thanks to everyone here and I can speak out what bother me inside =) freedomly~ Guess there is day when is up and down~Life~

 

[yosugay]

Eh hem!

No matter what happens in life or whatever people say to you, please DO NOT KILL YOURSELF, even if you feel like doing it. Always know that you are important and you mean a lot, especially to those who love you. And always know that no matter what, at the end of the day, they love and care about you.

i agree so much. every time i have felt suicidal in the past i always thought about my family, friends and everyone who cared about me and what they would think if i had done something to myself. i wouldnt want them to suffer through that, no one deserves to lose a loved one.