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What's Bothering You?
- Thread starter Kaiaa
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StarUrchin
🍙 Nom, nom 🍙
I have 2 weeks to change my writing grade from a B+ to an A-. I want dat New 3ds XL bboi.
tybalt_cake
heavymetallover
WTF I AM HEARING RIGHT NOW
Its weird how i heard this crime story when i was 10 and back then i was scared and now im hearing it after 3 years and now im hearing it again i dont know WTFFF
Its weird how i heard this crime story when i was 10 and back then i was scared and now im hearing it after 3 years and now im hearing it again i dont know WTFFF
Watchingthetreetops
*~Rude intolerance here~*
My boyfriend got upset while I was trying to voice an opinion to him. Didn't even get the chance to finish it before he cut me off. I thought things were good, but he brought it up again two days later and said that I was being rude, and that "it wasn't what I was saying, it was the tone". Normally, I would take ownership of this...
But he's literally said to me before: If you get a cat I'm breaking up with you. I don't know how I'm supposed to take that, but I had to learn that when he says stuff like that, he doesn't really mean it. But I'm starting to think he doesn't really want to be with me. I think the only reason he's with me is because I gave him everything he has, and no one else will give him that opportunity.
Don't get me wrong. I love this guy. I'm just frustrated. I tried to tell him that I feel like my feelings aren't validated, that he just dismisses everything I say, and he went on a rant about how he feels like he /can't/ express his feelings to me, without hurting my feelings. Word for word, he said: I can't just say that I was finished with this conversation three hours ago and you have to get up for work in the morning and I haven't had any time to myself. I can't say that, because that will hurt your feelings.
I just went to bed at that point. And now I don't really want to talk to him. I want to patch things up, and I probably will. But...I don't know. He kept saying I wasn't really listening to him. He's upset because they won't let him have his phone out at work and I was thinking of work arounds. He told me the reason he kept dismissing me was because he had thought of everything I said already. He said he didn't want to talk about it, and I told him: we have to communicate. Then he got angry again and said more stuff like the stuff above.
I don't know. I really really don't know. I'm angry and I'm hurt and I can't talk to him about it, because he's just going to get mad all over again. I don't think I did anything wrong, but I don't know. Did I? Was I not listening to him? I mean, I was attempting to find some way to get through to him, because he can do what he wants at work, just not on his phone. And the company has that phone policy for a reason. When I told him that he went on about how...he's better at his job then everyone else, so they should allow him to have his phone out...
It's a mess. And I got the blunt end of the stick. I always do. Because in these situations it's never about me, and if I express my feelings or the fact that his words sting, it's...I don't know, irritating to him. I feel like I /can't/ express my feelings because he just gets irritated. I can't cry in front of him. I can't tell him my thoughts on things, because he's already thought of them. I can't talk to him, because he's always right about everything and if I offer my opinion, once it makes him mad or offends him, he doesn't want to hear it anymore and drops the whole thing. I'm left hanging, and if I try and pick it back up he just gets angry and says hurtful things....but 'doesn't mean them', and he's allowed to pick them back up when ever he wants.
This boils down to a lack of communication and understanding. He can't understand why the things he says hurts me. Again, how are you supposed to take: if you get a cat I'm breaking up with you? How do you take that? And even though that hurt me, I had...HAD...to just sit there and take that, because he doesn't mean it. And if I try and communicate it just pisses him off. What I have to say about his situation at work ultimately doesn't matter to him. He just wants to vent, and I get that. My thoughts on the matter are literally useless. I CAN'T say that his tone and his words are rude, because that pisses him off, even though he talks abrasively all the damn time, but if I do it once, it's the end of the damn world. I should have let the conversation go, but his tone got to me, and I didn't want him to be upset. I wanted to work things out, if we could, but he didn't want that. He just wanted his alone time, because it's not like I haven't sacrificed that to take care of him and move him 800 miles away from his small town that had no jobs. It's not like I got him his job, or car, or apartment. It's not like I haven't sacrificed anything for him, but it's not enough because at the end of the day...he doesn't get his alone time.
So. There. Rant. Thoughts, anyone?
But he's literally said to me before: If you get a cat I'm breaking up with you. I don't know how I'm supposed to take that, but I had to learn that when he says stuff like that, he doesn't really mean it. But I'm starting to think he doesn't really want to be with me. I think the only reason he's with me is because I gave him everything he has, and no one else will give him that opportunity.
Don't get me wrong. I love this guy. I'm just frustrated. I tried to tell him that I feel like my feelings aren't validated, that he just dismisses everything I say, and he went on a rant about how he feels like he /can't/ express his feelings to me, without hurting my feelings. Word for word, he said: I can't just say that I was finished with this conversation three hours ago and you have to get up for work in the morning and I haven't had any time to myself. I can't say that, because that will hurt your feelings.
I just went to bed at that point. And now I don't really want to talk to him. I want to patch things up, and I probably will. But...I don't know. He kept saying I wasn't really listening to him. He's upset because they won't let him have his phone out at work and I was thinking of work arounds. He told me the reason he kept dismissing me was because he had thought of everything I said already. He said he didn't want to talk about it, and I told him: we have to communicate. Then he got angry again and said more stuff like the stuff above.
I don't know. I really really don't know. I'm angry and I'm hurt and I can't talk to him about it, because he's just going to get mad all over again. I don't think I did anything wrong, but I don't know. Did I? Was I not listening to him? I mean, I was attempting to find some way to get through to him, because he can do what he wants at work, just not on his phone. And the company has that phone policy for a reason. When I told him that he went on about how...he's better at his job then everyone else, so they should allow him to have his phone out...
It's a mess. And I got the blunt end of the stick. I always do. Because in these situations it's never about me, and if I express my feelings or the fact that his words sting, it's...I don't know, irritating to him. I feel like I /can't/ express my feelings because he just gets irritated. I can't cry in front of him. I can't tell him my thoughts on things, because he's already thought of them. I can't talk to him, because he's always right about everything and if I offer my opinion, once it makes him mad or offends him, he doesn't want to hear it anymore and drops the whole thing. I'm left hanging, and if I try and pick it back up he just gets angry and says hurtful things....but 'doesn't mean them', and he's allowed to pick them back up when ever he wants.
This boils down to a lack of communication and understanding. He can't understand why the things he says hurts me. Again, how are you supposed to take: if you get a cat I'm breaking up with you? How do you take that? And even though that hurt me, I had...HAD...to just sit there and take that, because he doesn't mean it. And if I try and communicate it just pisses him off. What I have to say about his situation at work ultimately doesn't matter to him. He just wants to vent, and I get that. My thoughts on the matter are literally useless. I CAN'T say that his tone and his words are rude, because that pisses him off, even though he talks abrasively all the damn time, but if I do it once, it's the end of the damn world. I should have let the conversation go, but his tone got to me, and I didn't want him to be upset. I wanted to work things out, if we could, but he didn't want that. He just wanted his alone time, because it's not like I haven't sacrificed that to take care of him and move him 800 miles away from his small town that had no jobs. It's not like I got him his job, or car, or apartment. It's not like I haven't sacrificed anything for him, but it's not enough because at the end of the day...he doesn't get his alone time.
So. There. Rant. Thoughts, anyone?
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timecapsule
Senior Member
I'm sorry this is happening to you :/
I can't offer advice but I hope you guys can work something out.
I keep ruining my happiness and it's killing me I don't wanna have to go through any of this why couldn't I just be made normal :|
Watchingthetreetops
*~Rude intolerance here~*
- - - Post Merge - - -
Lythelys:
thanks. Just frustrating. I don't even want to look at him, to be honest. It wasn't even my fault he didn't get his...alone time. He and his sister were on the phone talking for hours before we even got a chance to talk last night. He apologized to me for that, and it wasn't a problem, and then he talked more and brought up what happened a couple of days ago and we spent like an hour talking to each other about aaaaall of that above. Literally. I kept looking at the time because I was tired. All of that bs happened in an hour.
I hope that you come to terms with your happiness and what you need to achieve it. It isn't easy having to deal with things like that, and I sincerely hope that you can find your normal place eventually
Lythelys:
thanks. Just frustrating. I don't even want to look at him, to be honest. It wasn't even my fault he didn't get his...alone time. He and his sister were on the phone talking for hours before we even got a chance to talk last night. He apologized to me for that, and it wasn't a problem, and then he talked more and brought up what happened a couple of days ago and we spent like an hour talking to each other about aaaaall of that above. Literally. I kept looking at the time because I was tired. All of that bs happened in an hour.
I hope that you come to terms with your happiness and what you need to achieve it. It isn't easy having to deal with things like that, and I sincerely hope that you can find your normal place eventually
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> spent $8 on one particular amiibo card i haven't been able to find
> accidentally bid $625 on it instead of $6.25 thanks to my phone, so had to get that all worked out
> buy a random pack of cards on my way home and GUESS WHAT CARD IS IN IT
> i hate myself
> accidentally bid $625 on it instead of $6.25 thanks to my phone, so had to get that all worked out
> buy a random pack of cards on my way home and GUESS WHAT CARD IS IN IT
> i hate myself
AquaStrudel
power
I can't help but feel bad about the stray cats in our neighborhood who have to endure this snowstorm. Hopefully our neighbors took them in, I know they stay on their side of the street and they feed them.
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