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What's Bothering You?
- Thread starter Oblivia
- Start date
Newbiemayor
Fish enthusiast
Ngl. Genuinely horrifying things are going on in my family and it's not ok. I'm doing the best I can but I just. I don't know.
Ignoring the fact the shop I work at hasn't got much Christmas stuff up, the one thing that bothers me is the stickers on the window which are very much AI images odlf santa, snowmen, elfs, etc
How bright the whole of it looks, it just seems off, and oh yeah the presents have legs
THE PRESENTS HAVE LEGS
Even the kids who come in the morning know its AI.
How bright the whole of it looks, it just seems off, and oh yeah the presents have legs
THE PRESENTS HAVE LEGS
Even the kids who come in the morning know its AI.
It's so annoying how rampant this is and it's got to be breaking so many laws. I had to sort through magazines in the warehouse and there was one (I forget what brand) touting how they used AI to bring historical war to life. The front cover had a revolutionary soldier walking, back to the viewer, with beer cans on the ground. I skimmed through it just to see how bad it was. One page had cavalry riding to battle with one man posed like he was riding a horse, but without a horse. So he was in the air. Another had a man reading a map with hulk-sized hands. All of it was so bad. That this stuff even gets printed is just pathetic we even got to this point.
This year has been a complete disappointment
There was something else on this site but you know. Eh
Please don’t respond to this unless we’re already friends on Discord and you’re reaching out there. I don’t check this website, and I just wanted to dump this in an isolated post.
I struggle to even write as coherently as I used to honestly. This year just sucked. Relationship problems they promised weren’t going to happen again. We had disagreements that made me more scared and uncomfortable and sad last month and I kind of haven’t been the same since.
My streak of being a lonely guy lurking forums and communities to make up for lack of contact has not ended. I have no IRL friends. I suck and ghost people out of my insecurities sometimes but for the last two months I’ve been making an active effort to change that and most people have responded in kind with things left on read for weeks. But it sucks when most days, I only ever talk to my partner and maybe one other friend and that isn’t going well. One friend said hope [you’re] weathering it and to be honest… I literally reached out because I can’t, I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I’m tired of being the only one to reach out between myself and (most, I must stress most) Discord friends in the last few years. There are people who don’t respond after a month or just never respond and I guess that’s what I deserve. Part of me deep down knows that isn’t true but how am I meant to embrace it with everything being so awful.
I guess I came back to post it on this website because being here was one of the only times I felt I was beating this in my life and felt actively involved in a community. Let me be clear, I’m really not comfortable being here again, seeing what was uncovered earlier this year. I’m not going to spark that again but I’m not going to lie about it. But when it comes to this site… like, hell, man. I was so involved here for like a year and I think I maybe have two friends I regularly speak to that I met from here, and one of them I honestly met through Discord but we just happened to be here instead. It’s not that people here owe me or anything. It just hurts. I had genuinely hoped things would change and I would make longterm friends and a little circle and get out of this endless crap of me just waiting to hear from people or waiting for replies or not knowing who to speak to or other issues. I feel like at best I can become a guy everybody likes, but I can’t get close to anyone, and usually really I just don’t feel like I exist. I feel like I regularly attract people who either have the same insecurities, or want to use me like therapy, so I either cut out many or just reached out a couple of times and felt that way. I’m not assuming it of everyone at all but I did unfriend a bunch of people who drained me and I think were genuinely unfairly dependent months ago and I’ve not found more company. I don’t want to become that guy again. I always feel like the outsider looking in. I have to wonder what I could have done differently. I feel like making friends is a luck game with how much effort I put into certain friendships (not here) only for those people not to speak with me. And looking at myself.
I feel like a bad friend and a bad partner. I want to make art and share it with people when right now I’m just using it to try and construct things to fill the gaps in my loneliness. I’m doing art again, but I’ve been here before. It doesn’t really make up for what I want in life which is really being able to earn and share and make meaningful, mutual connections. Get away from trauma. Some other stuff.
I finally reached out to my last psychologist for the sake of my relationship and they’re taking a break for a year once this year ends. I don’t have it in me to see another new one. I can’t keep replaying that spinning record of my trauma to professionals because that’s how they decide I need to do things and it’s not helping. It’s made me worse to do it for so long. I have been in and out of therapy for 18 years. I can’t take living like this anymore.
I laid in bed crying for hours, last night and today.
I don’t want to be “strong”. I want to be happy. I want to be self-confident again but how can I be okay failing when everything feels like a failure and when I break down and cry I feel like people expect me to self-correct or people aren’t around or stuff.
And honestly sometimes I just don’t know when reaching out is just me bothering people any more.
My streak of being a lonely guy lurking forums and communities to make up for lack of contact has not ended. I have no IRL friends. I suck and ghost people out of my insecurities sometimes but for the last two months I’ve been making an active effort to change that and most people have responded in kind with things left on read for weeks. But it sucks when most days, I only ever talk to my partner and maybe one other friend and that isn’t going well. One friend said hope [you’re] weathering it and to be honest… I literally reached out because I can’t, I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I’m tired of being the only one to reach out between myself and (most, I must stress most) Discord friends in the last few years. There are people who don’t respond after a month or just never respond and I guess that’s what I deserve. Part of me deep down knows that isn’t true but how am I meant to embrace it with everything being so awful.
I guess I came back to post it on this website because being here was one of the only times I felt I was beating this in my life and felt actively involved in a community. Let me be clear, I’m really not comfortable being here again, seeing what was uncovered earlier this year. I’m not going to spark that again but I’m not going to lie about it. But when it comes to this site… like, hell, man. I was so involved here for like a year and I think I maybe have two friends I regularly speak to that I met from here, and one of them I honestly met through Discord but we just happened to be here instead. It’s not that people here owe me or anything. It just hurts. I had genuinely hoped things would change and I would make longterm friends and a little circle and get out of this endless crap of me just waiting to hear from people or waiting for replies or not knowing who to speak to or other issues. I feel like at best I can become a guy everybody likes, but I can’t get close to anyone, and usually really I just don’t feel like I exist. I feel like I regularly attract people who either have the same insecurities, or want to use me like therapy, so I either cut out many or just reached out a couple of times and felt that way. I’m not assuming it of everyone at all but I did unfriend a bunch of people who drained me and I think were genuinely unfairly dependent months ago and I’ve not found more company. I don’t want to become that guy again. I always feel like the outsider looking in. I have to wonder what I could have done differently. I feel like making friends is a luck game with how much effort I put into certain friendships (not here) only for those people not to speak with me. And looking at myself.
I feel like a bad friend and a bad partner. I want to make art and share it with people when right now I’m just using it to try and construct things to fill the gaps in my loneliness. I’m doing art again, but I’ve been here before. It doesn’t really make up for what I want in life which is really being able to earn and share and make meaningful, mutual connections. Get away from trauma. Some other stuff.
I finally reached out to my last psychologist for the sake of my relationship and they’re taking a break for a year once this year ends. I don’t have it in me to see another new one. I can’t keep replaying that spinning record of my trauma to professionals because that’s how they decide I need to do things and it’s not helping. It’s made me worse to do it for so long. I have been in and out of therapy for 18 years. I can’t take living like this anymore.
I laid in bed crying for hours, last night and today.
I don’t want to be “strong”. I want to be happy. I want to be self-confident again but how can I be okay failing when everything feels like a failure and when I break down and cry I feel like people expect me to self-correct or people aren’t around or stuff.
And honestly sometimes I just don’t know when reaching out is just me bothering people any more.
There was something else on this site but you know. Eh
Please don’t respond to this unless we’re already friends on Discord and you’re reaching out there. I don’t check this website, and I just wanted to dump this in an isolated post.
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