What is your opinion on Long Distance Relationships?

[Feferily]

I had one for seven years! They’re very bit as viable and real as physical relationships! It’s hard finding things to do over the Internet but she visited me twice and it was ... yeah. It ended last year, with both of my partners, but I am glad I had the experience.

 

[Ichiban]

imo they don't, the lack of physical connection drains on you after a while and you just end up growing distant because of it

 

[angiepie]

They can work. I’ve seen multiple work, but personally for myself, I was in one for 6 1/2 years from September 2011 to the end of March 2018. They’re hard and most of the time they don’t work out, but of course there’s always exceptions to the rules.

 

[Mayor Ng]

Long distance relationship is seen as unsuccessful because people cannot think of themselves able to get through it or have seen the struggles that other couples in this relationship go through. There's no such thing as real or fake love. Love is about adoration, commitment and sacrifice, it's about building a relationship. There's love and there's lust, with the two often mixed together. "In my opinion, way too much importance is put on physical attraction these days" - It still is the same today 2 years later.

Long distance relationship is not for everyone because it requires tremendous patience and trust. The lack of physical contact can take a toll on people and it requires a great deal of abstinence, which I have to say is impossible for a lot of people. Your actions and behaviour in a relationship are of utmost importance to help reassure your partner that you will not succumb to lust and cheat on them. Building of trust is a long and arduous process and take years to a lifetime and it only takes a moment for it to crumble away.

The potential of long distance relationship is there of course. I speak from experience, currently in and still going strong at close to 7 years. The early stages are not so challenging as with most relationships, flirting and courtship are common place and attraction is at it's highest. After awhile, when couples get comfortable, this is when relationships take a turn, they either continue or they fail. Those who continue will start to dig deep into their relationships and invest into it and build upon it (moving in together, marriage, have kids, raising kids, etc.) but this is where long distance relationship diverts from the norm. In a long distance relationship, you cannot plan for the future because everything is uncertain. You must learn to accept this, it takes a tremendous amount of trust and faith that everything will work out in the end. This in return builds a much more stronger bond than people that stay together and at the same time this bond is also very fragile.

It's not that long distance relationship never works, it's just that it requires so much selflessness that people can't go through with it. There's lack of physical touch and action (honestly not as important an issue as you might think, it's when a person succumbs to lust and seek attention elsewhere that's the issue). There's lack of progression until the couple settles down together, requires patience and understanding mindset. There's a lot of doubt because you cannot observe your partner, requires a lot of faith and trust. There's a lot of misunderstandings because you are not together, requires a lot of dialogue and honesty (this is why you develop a stronger bond, you get to know a person more closely than you will probably in a short-distance relationship). Most of the above are doable, so why do some couples fail? The answer is compatibility, you must geniunely like your partner for all of their flaws and quirks in order to have a lasting relationship. Also important is that it's not about you, it's about us, you must prioritize your relationship over your ambition (a lot of selflessness and sacrifices). Sorta like Romeo and Juliet, you want love, you got to work for it and you got to sacrifice for it and at the end of the day, if your partner feels the same then you will grow old together and die together.

Relationships are never equal, partners will feel like they contribute much more than the other and there will always be those minor arguements on perceived contributions but as long as there are dialogue and communication, it will work out. As long as couples don't stop working on their relationship, there's always a way. If you give up, then the relationship was all for naught.

 

[Antonio]

If it works for you, i have no reason to disagree. However, I personally would love close relationship because the idea of hugging someone everyday sounds lovely.

 

[Mayor Ng]

If it works for you, i have no reason to disagree. However, I personally would love close relationship because the idea of hugging someone everyday sounds lovely.

"the idea of hugging someone everyday sounds lovely" - It does, it does! *sigh* I wouldn't recommend long distance relationship if people haven't found their significant other and both parties are willing to tough it out to make it work but I don't want people to give up hope on long distance relationship either, there's beauty in it

 

[staticistic1114]

ho boy can i write PARAGRAPHS on this topic!! ill try to keep it as brief as possible, this is all from personal experience haha

the boys in my country are a hopeless case, the only thing they can think about with all brutal honesty is sex. my country is pretty conservative, so dating someone in itself is seen as a sin, however, people find their way around it to "see the people they love". throughout school, i have heard rumors and gossips of people dating and hiding behind buses to kiss and all that but i have never had any of that. i was extremely insecure about my looks, especially being dark-skinned and bullied for it, and believed i would never find love irl. in fact, my friends pranked me during school that a boy was interested in me bc he thought i was pretty, but it turned out that boy never existed and i was waiting to meet no one. with that, you can imagine that i sought out love over the internet, where no one knew what i looked like!!

i had seen SO many people online, some who were straight-forward about just wanting nudes and others who speak with you a few days then ask for pics/nudes. i have also met people who publicly cheated on me and others who suddenly were uninterested and just ghosted me or started treating me unwell. despite that, i dont believe online love is impossible, it is just as valid as irl love but either works for different people. there was a recurring theme with boys who were genuinely interested: they never pressure you for anything and wait for you to take the initiative when it comes to private information and that include pictures of yourself! a lot of people argue that "you have to see the person first!!" but im just not convinced so much by it and we can agree to disagree

my bf who im with now is someone i met online when i was around 20, and have been dating for almost a year before we first met (its been two years now!). we did a lot of video calls and tried to understand each other as much as possible and make it bearable for the both of us to be that far distant but still virtually close. after roughly a year of dating, we decided to book a vacation together so we can meet and all that, we went to disneyland together then stayed at his home to meet his parents too. i know a year is not so long to be taking this step, but we were so close it felt like we knew each other for way more. we made it a tradition to meet every christmas and spend it with his family, its my favorite time of the year now. i am currently staying with him due to unforeseen circumstances (its been 3 months) and i enjoy my life with him and his parents. i help him get ready for work, we play games together, he takes care of me and helps me so much in everything i need, even his parents.

my relationship has sort of transitioned into being irl i guess, but it will go back to being online when things are back to normal. we both trust each other with our lives so its no biggie, but we will miss each other so much!! until im done with school, then we can move somewhere together in the states and buy a house and adopt dogs and settle in <3 in the mean time, we both do our thing that will bring us closer to our dream together. so to sum up, yes online relationships work! it may not be for everyone, but you also have to be careful. the internet is full of creeps who lie so be vigilant and dont believe everything you are told. think ten times before sharing anything, and reach out to anyone you trust for a second opinion in case you're not sure! i think i found true love online, others did offline, love is love in the end ❤

 

[Mayor Ng]

ho boy can i write PARAGRAPHS on this topic!! ill try to keep it as brief as possible, this is all from personal experience haha

View attachment 270410

the boys in my country are a hopeless case, the only thing they can think about with all brutal honesty is sex. my country is pretty conservative, so dating someone in itself is seen as a sin, however, people find their way around it to "see the people they love". throughout school, i have heard rumors and gossips of people dating and hiding behind buses to kiss and all that but i have never had any of that. i was extremely insecure about my looks, especially being dark-skinned and bullied for it, and believed i would never find love irl. in fact, my friends pranked me during school that a boy was interested in me bc he thought i was pretty, but it turned out that boy never existed and i was waiting to meet no one. with that, you can imagine that i sought out love over the internet, where no one knew what i looked like!!

i had seen SO many people online, some who were straight-forward about just wanting nudes and others who speak with you a few days then ask for pics/nudes. i have also met people who publicly cheated on me and others who suddenly were uninterested and just ghosted me or started treating me unwell. despite that, i dont believe online love is impossible, it is just as valid as irl love but either works for different people. there was a recurring theme with boys who were genuinely interested: they never pressure you for anything and wait for you to take the initiative when it comes to private information and that include pictures of yourself! a lot of people argue that "you have to see the person first!!" but im just not convinced so much by it and we can agree to disagree

my bf who im with now is someone i met online when i was around 20, and have been dating for almost a year before we first met (its been two years now!). we did a lot of video calls and tried to understand each other as much as possible and make it bearable for the both of us to be that far distant but still virtually close. after roughly a year of dating, we decided to book a vacation together so we can meet and all that, we went to disneyland together then stayed at his home to meet his parents too. i know a year is not so long to be taking this step, but we were so close it felt like we knew each other for way more. we made it a tradition to meet every christmas and spend it with his family, its my favorite time of the year now. i am currently staying with him due to unforeseen circumstances (its been 3 months) and i enjoy my life with him and his parents. i help him get ready for work, we play games together, he takes care of me and helps me so much in everything i need, even his parents.

my relationship has sort of transitioned into being irl i guess, but it will go back to being online when things are back to normal. we both trust each other with our lives so its no biggie, but we will miss each other so much!! until im done with school, then we can move somewhere together in the states and buy a house and adopt dogs and settle in <3 in the mean time, we both do our thing that will bring us closer to our dream together. so to sum up, yes online relationships work! it may not be for everyone, but you also have to be careful. the internet is full of creeps who lie so be vigilant and dont believe everything you are told. think ten times before sharing anything, and reach out to anyone you trust for a second opinion in case you're not sure! i think i found true love online, others did offline, love is love in the end ❤

Such a sweet story! I love it. Good luck to the both of you. I met my significant other's parent even before we dated, the mother was a teacher at our high school. I've gone to her house for dinners and during holidays that her family celebrate even before a year has past so a year is not too early to take the step of meeting the parents

 

[trashpedia]

I have never dated before but it is something I might be willing to try at some point cuz you never know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Currently, I'm not seeking a relationship due to my current life circumstances (I'm about to enter college) and I feel like it's too early for me but there is someone that keeps hitting/flirting with me and wants me to do a long distance relationship. I declined though.

 

[staticistic1114]

Such a sweet story! I love it. Good luck to the both of you. I met my significant other's parent even before we dated, the mother was a teacher at our high school. I've gone to her house for dinners and during holidays that her family celebrate even before a year has past so a year is not too early to take the step of meeting the parents

ngl i was pretty nervous to meet them, but they greeted me with open arms they're super sweet i love his family so much <3 im glad you enjoyed reading my story, i would hope people might learn from my mistakes. good luck to the both of you too! its so sweet that you were so close with your teacher like that, who would have thought you'd meet your so like that!

 

[Mayor Ng]

ngl i was pretty nervous to meet them, but they greeted me with open arms they're super sweet i love his family so much <3 im glad you enjoyed reading my story, i would hope people might learn from my mistakes. good luck to the both of you too! its so sweet that you were so close with your teacher like that, who would have thought you'd meet your so like that!

That's good to hear! Glad you met a super nice family I'm sure your story will help some people that might be going through the same situation. Actually her mother never taught me in our high school but the school was not big so the teachers would talk to one another if there was anything out of the ordinary, so while we were shy and flirting around in high school before we dated, her mother caught on before we even decided to be a pair Unfortunately, we are stuck in a long distance relationship while we pursue our ambitions and university choices but we are now both graduated but the pandemic has stopped any progression at the moment

 

[elo-chan]

They can work, but I find it more successful to have a LDR later on in life (like after you're >20 years old and not when you're a minor). It really depends on the two people involved and how seriously they take the relationship and try to make it IRL as soon as possible. I met my current boyfriend through a video game about 4 1/2 years ago. I was 18 in my senior year of HS and he was 19 (in college at the time but he has since dropped out and moved on to be the co-owner of a successful business!)-- now I'm 23 and he is 24. We have met and visited each other more than 10 times in that time period--each visit lasting 1-2 weeks each. I've met his family and he's met mine. I'm from the US and he is from Canada, so thankfully the timezone doesn't differ that much. It's also very possible for either of us to obtain citizenship in each other's respective countries, which we obviously weren't thinking about when we started the LDR, but it's proved to cause less strain on our relationship now that we're getting to the point where I am seriously thinking of moving and finding work in Canada after I finish school (which should be about 3-4 years from now, so we'll see how that goes). We have complete trust in each other and grew up in very similar environments. The reason I mention this is because a lot of times people's perspectives are shaped by their childhood and family dynamic. For example, I could not date someone who was religious/or their family was religious because I grew up to be very distant from religion.

My 2 cents on how to make LDRs or any romantic relationship as successful as possible for that matter--literally. communicate. EVERYTHING! Don't expect the other person to read your mind. No matter is too trivial to be discussed. If you're insecure about things, its important you communicate that to your partner and they should be patient with you + try to help you overcome those things. Be selfless and not selfish. Treat them how you'd want to be treated. And in this day and age, get psychiatric help if you're mentally unstable instead of trying to handle a long term relationship because I've seen way too much mental abuse in the relationships of other people I know.

 

[staticistic1114]

That's good to hear! Glad you met a super nice family I'm sure your story will help some people that might be going through the same situation. Actually her mother never taught me in our high school but the school was not big so the teachers would talk to one another if there was anything out of the ordinary, so while we were shy and flirting around in high school before we dated, her mother caught on before we even decided to be a pair Unfortunately, we are stuck in a long distance relationship while we pursue our ambitions and university choices but we are now both graduated but the pandemic has stopped any progression at the moment

ohh sad to hear this pandemic is in the way when you both finally graduated!! it will be over soon and i wish you both a happy life together ❤

 

[Shukie_Bunfox]

I think, Times are changing also.
Even 10-15 years ago it was seen as foolish, a waste of time, "It'll never work", or as something you might do "As abit of fun on the side"

But as people are becoming more and more connected online, and it is easier than ever to accidentally meet and fall in love with someone on a online format, i think "online relationships"/"Long distance relationships" will become more commonplace.

I met my now-husband online in.. 2008? playing Secondlife.
We spent 6 months or so doing the whole online relationship thing, And i think what made it nice was a feeling of... looking forward to something.
"We'll meet up someday!" is a very romantic notion.
But he came to visit me in the summer of '09 (him being from the UK, and me being from the US)
And after that i decided to move over to england with him.
Been together 10 years now!

I think, for the right people, and under the right circumstances, it can work out great, but it is absolutely not for everyone, as some people need to be more intimate and close with their partners. just talking to them is'nt enough.
And thats fine!

But i do believe that it will become more common place in years to come.

 

[peachmilke]

I’ve been in one for about 2 1/2 years now! We started dating when I was 18, I’m now 20. It’s definitely a lot of work and I think your communication skills have to be strong (but this should be the case regardless of LDR) I’ve heard a lot of people who say they could never do it, but then do it anyways when they find someone that they love a lot. I think some think it’s doomed to fail without being able to be physically there sometimes, and although it can suck not having your partner be there for you in person at times neither of you can help it so there’s no reason to get upset over it. It’s definitely not for everyone, and I think the idea of meeting someone online is scary for some people. I was with my boyfriend for about a year before we even met in person, and we still don’t get to see each other super often since we’re both poor and busy, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

 

[AppleBitterCrumble]

i think they can work if they're with the right person.

my current boyfriend is a bad and forgetful texter so it was hard to maintain a long distance relationship with him because there were times when i was struggling with my mental health or school and id ask for him to check in more and he wasn't able to do that.

 

[Mary]

I've been in a few long-distance relationships that fell apart, and my current relationship is long-distance during certain times of the year because we're students at a university that's out-of-state for me.

I'll say one thing - I don't think one couple's LDR is the same as another couple's LDR. For some couples, LDRs are no problem. For others, they are impossible. It really depends on the individuals involved, their communication styles, and their intimacy needs. Part of it is knowing yourself. For me, I avoid LDRs when possible because I'm not great at communicating via text/phone/video chat, but some people I know do just fine in an LDR. At the end of the day, it's like any other relationship, but with a few added challenges.

 

[anne17]

I think that if you don't have the active intention and plan to close the distance it's not really real, but that's just me, I'm jaded from middle school kik days.

 

[Lightmare]

personally, i think i could actually do it! i mean i've only ever really had crushes on people in person, but i've held LOOOONG really close friendships online - even when we talk for a little bit here and there when we're busy. i also know people who are currently in long distance relationships even during college when they were separated and even to this day they're still together. it depends on the relationship and the chemistry between the two people, i think. if it works for them, then i totally believe it!
however, i think i prefer to have a relationship that's not long distance though because for me i believe to rly get to know a person i have to both be able to talk to them/be comfortable w them via online and via irl.

 

[idiotdoomspiral]

just gonna post here again since my opinion has changed........again................
they work, you just have to be the type of person for it. i'm someone who loves the idea of being physically affectionate with people and it's easier for me to build trust like that online. interacting with others in real life is extremely draining and sometimes scary for me, especially if i don't have much of a connection with them. in my city the places that are interesting and fun to meet new people in are very limited, there is no scene for anything. it's so much easier finding similar interests and being able to relate with someone online, you might also meet someone while travelling to a different city to go somewhere that interests you.