Just curious-- do you think this forum has a generally positive attitude towards non-binary people? Unlike other forums, I haven't seen a lot of cissexism here, but at the same time I find that generally my correct pronouns are ignored or avoided entirely.
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Is BTF a safe place for non-binary people?
- Thread starter goatling
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well maybe in your sig you should put your pronouns, i honestly couldnt even tell by looking at this post and if its on your profile most people wont check
edit: ik people are gonna say never assume genders but it's not that easy and it takes a little getting used to. so we need reminders sometimes
edit: ik people are gonna say never assume genders but it's not that easy and it takes a little getting used to. so we need reminders sometimes
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This is something I've thought about and will probably eventually do, but at the moment the idea makes me slightly anxious.
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The forum is about Animal Crossing, and this a thread for off-topic discussion. I'm just curious to hear what experiences people have had here.
Damien Collier
Raymond and Dobie are grandpa husbands
Personally, I don't think it's come up much. I'm transgender, and open about it, so I think if anyone would talk about it a lot, it'd be me.
Generally people just don't talk about their gender, and I think some of it is because its unlisted on the profiles themselves.
Generally people just don't talk about their gender, and I think some of it is because its unlisted on the profiles themselves.
That would make sense! I haven't been on this forum for a while (though it's been almost a year since I joined, I took a very long break from New Leaf and thus, this forum) so I haven't been able to get a good idea of what the general attitude is like, you know?
Damien Collier
Raymond and Dobie are grandpa husbands
*it comes up, lol
Yeah, from what I've seen, just like anything, you have to be around a certain crowd for them to really get it. With that being said, though, the little I have seen people talking about their genders (particularly ones that aren't cis m/f) it doesn't seem like anyone attacks them or shames them in any form. I'd say you're safe, and even if someone does give you a hard time-- they're just being an *******.
That's good to hear! I can tell that BTF is a more positive place than the other Animal Crossing forum I originally joined, so it's good to hear that it's generally safe too!
MyLifeIsCake
~Impossomble~
Honestly I don't think that it would be a big issue since this is the internet and no one can really tell who is what gender without them specifying it on the forum... If I wanted to refer to a user I would simply use their username. But yeah, maybe if you want to be referred as a certain gender put the pronoun in your sig so that way someone won't make a mistake.
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I understand that, but there are people who do tend to assume pronouns, and it never feels good to be misgendered, even when it's a simple mistake. I will eventually put my pronouns in my signature, but like I said, the thought makes me anxious as of now.
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I do think that, even in communities like this, gender does matter in some way, especially since many people tend to assume you're male or female, even if it's not being said outright.
From what I have seen, gender doesn't matter on here. Though there are a few people it might bother, the majority of us simply don't care. Yes, people will assume what gender you are based on avatars or whatever, but that shouldn't really matter. Just correct them and all will be well.
Pretty much what I'm trying to say is, as long as you aren't going to be overly sensitive about pronouns and whatnot then you'll fit in well here ^-^ Hopefully this didn't come off as being rude .-.
Pretty much what I'm trying to say is, as long as you aren't going to be overly sensitive about pronouns and whatnot then you'll fit in well here ^-^ Hopefully this didn't come off as being rude .-.
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ShinyYoshi
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There have been big arguments when gender-specific threads were around, it's hard to explain, but people weren't being rude just because someone said they were a specific gender. If that makes sense.
I don't think someone will be rude to you just because you are non-binary, but people will be rude to you just in general. This is the internet, sadly.
I don't know how many times I've posted that I am a female, but I still get male pronouns thrown at me. And people will assume your gender without asking, and they usually don't mean any harm of it if you've never told them the pronouns you prefer.
I guess just try and be clear what you want to be called, but remember not everyone will know and people will make mistakes.
I don't think someone will be rude to you just because you are non-binary, but people will be rude to you just in general. This is the internet, sadly.
I don't know how many times I've posted that I am a female, but I still get male pronouns thrown at me. And people will assume your gender without asking, and they usually don't mean any harm of it if you've never told them the pronouns you prefer.
I guess just try and be clear what you want to be called, but remember not everyone will know and people will make mistakes.
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Ah, I'm not trying to pick a fight, I was just wondering about the experiences other n.b. people have had here...
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I understand that people make mistakes, I try my best to be understanding and I'm quite used to it. When I do get upset, it's because I recognize that there's a fine line between making a mistake and purposely misgendering someone. Again, I am not trying to pick a fight, I'm just asking for opinions on the matter from n.b. people.
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I understand that people make mistakes, I try my best to be understanding and I'm quite used to it. When I do get upset, it's because I recognize that there's a fine line between making a mistake and purposely misgendering someone. Again, I am not trying to pick a fight, I'm just asking for opinions on the matter from n.b. people.
Okay, I disagree with your opposition to being sensitive about pronouns, though. People have the right to be upset about being misgendered because it's honestly very insulting. I obviously don't think it's okay to yell at someone who doesn't know better or just made a mistake-- it's a hard adjustment for some people, and even I make the same kind of mistakes too. That said, people do need to realize that it is incredibly upsetting, and some people have a hard time handling it emotionally.
It really shouldn't come as a surprise that people can be sensitive about their pronouns.
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This is a kind thing to say, thank you!
No no no, that's not what I meant. I meant if you're going to yell at someone who misgendered you once and it was an accident, then you won't be welcome here. But, if they are purposely doing it or have done it multiple times, then be my guest and yell at them, they deserve every bit of your anger. Sorry about the misunderstanding ;-;
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ShinyYoshi
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I'm sorry if my post came off that way, I can tell you aren't trying to pick any fights. I was just saying there have been fights here before, but they were more about the equality of different gendered people and I think you would have had to read those fights to really understand when I say they weren't about trying to just pick on people with different genders.
I think the people here are pretty accepting of other genders and I hope you find it to be that way!
KittybotANI
Senior Member
I generally assume everyone is male until specified otherwise. Since it's grammatically the traditional neutral pronoun, I feel it's the safest bet. I don't particularly think it matters or anyone here cares, it's just most expedient when typing a post to have a default pronoun to use so you don't have to go to everyone's profile (if they even mentioned it) every single time to check when you're just typing a short post. For example: "SoAndSo posted in the looking for thread that he was looking for Lolly." It isn't a matter of offense, it's a matter of efficiency. Also seems less rude than "it" and less grammatically clumsy than "they." Though that's an awful lot of thought for a two to three letter word.
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