Your thoughts on the LGBT+ communities.

[visibleghost]

The tumblr ace community/discourse is a nightmare. I'm not even a part of it but a friend of mine is constantly getting into it with people and... lord

Like I realize ace people aren't oppressed but I don't see why you guys should be excluded when you certainly aren't the majority and constantly get told you're "broken" or something just like other LGBT people do

yeah ikr!! i think that for some people it can be important to be in the lgbt+ community even tho they're cishet because they feel like their ace or are identity is an important part of their identity. and i don't really get why aros/aces should be excluded. obviously people who don't experience same gender attraction and/or are trans shouldn't use words as q*eer since they're slurs directed towards trans and people who are attracted to people of the same gender. but, like... ?? i don't see why that means we gotta be excluded.
in my opinion it is just way more harmful to try to force the aromantic/asexual community out of the lgbt+ community.

 

[seliph]

Honestly, I get tired of the word "community" just getting thrown around randomly for every characteristic. I just don't give a s*** what anyone's sexuality is and it's a total non-factor on the list of people I consider as part of my "community". Why are people always looking for people like them? Find people who are different from you; it makes life more interesting.

Aren't you straight? Obviously you wouldn't be looking for people like you for comfort and validation because literally everyone accepts you.

 

[Fleshy]

but to actually get back on ace discussion hhhh

i searched "ace discourse" on tumblr and honestly i'm kinda grossed out. yeah ik it's tumblr and Oh No Tumblr Is A Bad Place but honestly why is there so much hate.., like the ppl are being crappy af and i don't really get it..?? can't they just chill out lmao.........

i get that people dont want cishets in safe spaces for lgbt+ ppl. and i personally don't think that cishet aces would gain a lot from being included even on a personal level because, like, uh it doesn't really make a lot of sense since lgbt+ spaces are so very centred around oppression (like, pride was started because of oppression and stuff) and cishet aces or cishet aros do not face oppression in that way.
negativity and harassment towards aromantics and asexuals are often based on other stuff, as sexism, gender roles, ableism n such. but that doesn't make it okay for people to harass and mock ace/aro people and spread hatred. people kind of need to stop saying that aces are "basically het" because that's just offensive af.

also i don't really get why people want to exclude us so badly but Yeah Sure Whatevr.

I've seen so much tumblr discorse related to the ace community, it's everywhere, I don't get why other lgbt+ people are so angry about it? I get the cishet thing like you said, but I've seen people give ace people a lot of ****, maybe not the same level of opression that other lgbt+ people face but still. I don't have a problem at all with cishet ace/aro people being included if they want to be, it reminds me of the whole "remove the T from lgbt" discourse in that it's so pointless, like just harassing people just for the sake of it.

 

[visibleghost]

Aren't you straight? Obviously you wouldn't be looking for people like you for comfort and validation because literally everyone accepts you.

lol true.

that's another thing that i think is weird about people wanting to exclude ace/aro people from the community. we are not considered "normal" to straight people and we are constantly told we are going to find the right person one day, that we're weird etc. but now a big part of the lgbt+ community is saying "hey you are basically straight so um... leave?" and i don't really think it makes a lot of sense?

can't we just be included but, like, everyone knows that ace aro people don't face oppression in the same way as trans and people who experience same gender attraction.? because then it doesn't really make any harm..?

 

[f11]

yeah ikr!! i think that for some people it can be important to be in the lgbt+ community even tho they're cishet because they feel like their ace or are identity is an important part of their identity. and i don't really get why aros/aces should be excluded. obviously people who don't experience same gender attraction and/or are trans shouldn't use words as q*eer since they're slurs directed towards trans and people who are attracted to people of the same gender. but, like... ?? i don't see why that means we gotta be excluded.
in my opinion it is just way more harmful to try to force the aromantic/asexual community out of the lgbt+ community.

o I think I disagree with this a bit that cis and and not sga ace people shouldn't be in lgbt as they have their own different experiences and some sga and trans ppl have own separate experiences but that just my opinion rn

 

[Red Cat]

Aren't you straight? Obviously you wouldn't be looking for people like you for comfort and validation because literally everyone accepts you.

Is it really necessary to look for people "like you" for comfort and validation? Isn't anyone who respects and appreciates you someone you can turn to for comfort and validation? Does it really matter what sexuality those people are?

 

[visibleghost]

o I think I disagree with this a bit that cis and and not sga ace people shouldn't be in lgbt as they have their own different experiences and some sga and trans ppl have own separate experiences but that just my opinion rn

yeah i get that. but to just actively kick us out of the lgbt+ community when that is where the ace community has been for a long time now is in my opinion the opposite of helpful to everyone. i don't think people have been going all "oh i'm ace so i totally know what it's like to be gay xD" before so why are people acting like that's what's happening when ace/aro ppl want to still be included in the lgbt+ community.

 

[Trent the Paladin]

Be sure to respect each others opinions and try to keep "jokes" tasteful.

 

[Tensu]

what do you mean by not like anyone? if you dont love anyone romantically thats aromantic not asexual x.x

Ohh sorry I meant like sexually. I think that's right, correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[seliph]

Is it really necessary to look for people "like you" for comfort and validation? Isn't anyone who respects and appreciates you someone you can turn to for comfort and validation? Does it really matter what sexuality those people are?

Yes? If you're struggling with something regarding your sexuality or your gender identity, it is much better to have someone who can empathize and knows not only how you feel, but exactly what they're talking about. If straight people are giving me a hard time about my sexuality I'd much rather talk with my LGBTA+ friends about it because I feel better knowing they can relate.

 

[Tensu]

Yes, Aromantic however is when you dont want a relationship, we don't have any desire to have sexual intercourse.

That's what I meant in my original post. Should've worded it differently xD

 

[Fleshy]

Is it really necessary to look for people "like you" for comfort and validation? Isn't anyone who respects and appreciates you someone you can turn to for comfort and validation? Does it really matter what sexuality those people are?

It's very beneficial to communicate with people "like you" specially in relation to sexuality/gender. Of course it is great having people who respect and support you, regardless of their sexuality, it is comforting knowing you have people there for you and it's usually greatly appreciated but honestly sometimes you feel wrong for who you are/who are attracted to (or not in this case) and speaking to people like you, or even knowing that there are people like you out there can make you feel less worthless, less confused, less messed-up. When the vast majority of the world isn't "like you", it's great to have a community of people who are, a community of people who understand how you feel and have experienced what you're going through, or at least something similar.

 

[f11]

yeah i get that. but to just actively kick us out of the lgbt+ community when that is where the ace community has been for a long time now is in my opinion the opposite of helpful to everyone. i don't think people have been going all "oh i'm ace so i totally know what it's like to be gay xD" before so why are people acting like that's what's happening when ace/aro ppl want to still be included in the lgbt+ community.

hmm I guess I see where ur coming from but a place made from the backs of sga and trans ppl straight cis ppl (cis non sga aces) should be included imo as a line has to been drawn and for me including them not to be mean or insensitive but invalidates me and makes me feel unsafe.

 

[vel]

Don't really have thoughts on this, I think they're normal people and should be treated normally. Haven't had any negative encounters with someone who is asexual, so I guess they're okay? I don't like treating people differently just because of their sexual or romantic preference, or what they identify as. They're just people, so I guess that's all I can say.

 

[Katattacc]

No specific thoughts. What ever makes some one happy. We are all human.

 

[ams]

I've never met any asexual people. I don't doubt that there are people who genuinely are asexual, but I think the word is used too often to describe people that are socially awkward or even on the spectrum which I find offensive. I've also met people who claim to be asexual when in reality they are suppressing their sexuality due to their (usually religious) beliefs. If I'm annoyed by these things I can't imagine how annoyed actual asexual people must be.

 

[moonford]

hmm I guess I see where ur coming from but a place made from the backs of sga and trans ppl straight cis ppl (cis non sga aces) should be included imo as a line has to been drawn and for me including them not to be mean or insensitive but invalidates me and makes me feel unsafe.

How does it make you unsafe?

 

[f11]

How does it make you unsafe?

have het ppl in a safe space for me makes me feel unsafe do to hate crimes and all that junk.

 

[moonford]

have het ppl in a safe space for me makes me feel unsafe do to hate crimes and all that junk.

What does het mean, is it slang?

 

[Isabella]

My honest opinion is that in the end it's literally nobodies business who you're having sex with or if you don't prefer/choose to have sex at all.
I would imagine being asexual is difficult in some cases, like if you are in a relationship with someone who isn't asexual you'd probably have to come to a lot of compromises or something idk. Or just the fact that everything is so sexualized and it's considered the norm.