What's Bothering You?

someone keeps touching the white board on my door, this morning is the third time I've seen it happen in less than a week 😑
I live with a bunch of ****ing idiots apparently (they do other **** that irritates me, cause they have no decency for others).
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Dawnpiplup said:
what's up dude?
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oh it's a personal problem, I feel like I can't be part of society bc nobody (in media) gives a **** about autistics and nb people and ace people 🙃

I know you guys care and I really appreciate that but it's so difficult to go about my normal life and feel like I'm a complete outsider.
 
When you find nice clothes at second hand stores but they're either too small or just not your colour. I mean if they were too large I could always ask someone to tuck them in for me or stuff but yeah stop handing in baby size XS female clothes thanks lol
 
I have to get the vaccine today 😪 I'm not anti vaccine but I hate shots in general so this is going to be a bad day 🙂 (sarcastic smile)
 
Also my mom.. what you get for thinking she might be nice.. she forgot to buy allergy eye drops when we were actually in the mall cause she only handed in old meds. I gave her money so she could go into the mall again but jeez lol
 
last day for having ns online. After this l won't be getting it back for who knows how long. Won't be surprised if it will be more than 2 years. I think l will sell splatoon 2 because that's online only game so its useless to have. Switch will be boring to play on again🙄 Nintendo should have online free like how it was back then
 
another day goes by without a response from my former friend. So he asked how i am and when i told him about me having anxiety and depression, he has nothing to say—not that I want his pity... and a bit tactless to contact me on my birthday even though he knew we weren’t on good terms. 😅 I want to move on—i don’t think i can forgive even though my friend said he may have some sort of disorder; wish he told me before I let this upset me or step in to explain what is appropriate and not and what anxiety is. i would like to stop dwelling but my brain and anxiety won’t let me. i don’t need any more crap to be upset about right now.

also i’m sleepy but not ready for bed yet 😋
 
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Hot weather is here, and I'm dreading the first summer without a pool in probably about 20 years. Thing just got too old this past year, and we had to tear it down at the end of the season. I'm not a hot weather person at all. Today was probably about 80 or 82, and I'm already cooked. Honestly, anything above 74 or 75 is too warm for me. Summer temps of 90-100 Fahrenheit are perfectly common here. So...I'm writing my last will and testament. Lol.

Not to mention, I just enjoy the water as a relaxation thing.

Going in there at 1am and lighting a tiki torch...drinking beer and looking at the stars. Ugh.
 
I wish there was a “forget past toxic/abusive relationship” button. My day was actually pretty good, but I had to fight my ruminating brain. An irl friend reminded me to not blame myself for what happened and give the healing process. Of course that’s easier said than done. She’s right though.
 
I am currently recovering from surgery and thought I'd check in here after a few years since my last activity.
I find it hard to let go of the feeling that something's just off. I think alot about my future and what it will be and look like.
Only a year ago I left school and I've been looking for a job ever since until I ended up in the family business which is definitely not my set of skill.

I've got barely anyone to talk to apart from my family these days and I always wonder why it is so hard for me to meet and keep other people around. I suppose I feel lonely in some degree. Otherwise I think my life is failry good. It's just that feeling. What's wrong? Can't put my finger on it.
 
Mr_Persona said:
last day for having ns online. After this l won't be getting it back for who knows how long. Won't be surprised if it will be more than 2 years. I think l will sell splatoon 2 because that's online only game so its useless to have. Switch will be boring to play on again🙄 Nintendo should have online free like how it was back then
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considering it's basically paying for 3ds/wii u for sure...

also meh dumb eyes stop being stingy and itchy... bit better than past days cause i think i had something stuck innit cause now it's just a bit red and warm rather than itchy
 
I just woke up and am a bit depressed and still upset about something.

I finally texted a mutual friend of mine and the guy i am no longer friends with offline and asked her to tell that guy to never text me again. i have too many hard feelings and unless he learns to show some consideration towards me and when i tell him i need space and about being on edge, not getting hurt if i snap and acting like the victim (i am sick of this and being trashed). i was willing to continue talking in the conversation but still nothing after i answered his text asking how i was. The text annoyed me and the fact he didn’t reply was a bit rude, but that isn’t why I’m mad. just been holding these feelings for way too long and with moving and some other issue, i really don’t want one more thing to be upset about (though too late for that). i feel bad for the long text to my friend but i can’t hold this in any longer and continue seeing the behavior repeat.

Update: my friend’s boyfriend (who is my friend) doesn’t want to get involved...again. I have been starting to hurt from the fact he didn’t side with me the first time even though I understand why. All i wanted to relay is for his cousin not to text me again since i deleted the text and don’t have his number and assumed he’s reply after i said how i was doing since he asked.
 
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Where should I start this.. So I have a best friend, she's really smart and kind. Her grades would be always on top of mine. If I'm lucky, I have better grades than her.

My parents never had been proud of me about my grades, ig some times when i was really young. I hate school, and I tried so hard to not fail on my exams. I haven't fail and have to redo. Is that not enough??

Every time just talk about my exams, like anything, they would ask me about my best friend. Well ig that's fine, but of course she'll be better than me. So I told them. Then they started comparing me to herself. Everytime.

They never not talk about her if it's about my grades. Can't you just be proud of me?? She's not your child, I am! Why talk about her so much!? And when I have better grade than her, it's usually only one or two subjects out of 8 or 10. They aren't excited as I hoped.

Sometimes I have thoughts leaving her, but I haven't because she's really nice and we have so much in common.
 
I made a new friend today and yet I feel an overwhelming sense of sadness. Is it the fact I’m still having this depressive episode? My mood is still fluctuating on a daily basis. Making new connections and forging existing ones usually helps me through the day. What’s going on with me? This should be helping.
 
Feel like everytime I come on this site I just feel ignored.
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CatladyNiesha said:
Where should I start this.. So I have a best friend, she's really smart and kind. Her grades would be always on top of mine. If I'm lucky, I have better grades than her.

My parents never had been proud of me about my grades, ig some times when i was really young. I hate school, and I tried so hard to not fail on my exams. I haven't fail and have to redo. Is that not enough??

Every time just talk about my exams, like anything, they would ask me about my best friend. Well ig that's fine, but of course she'll be better than me. So I told them. Then they started comparing me to herself. Everytime.

They never not talk about her if it's about my grades. Can't you just be proud of me?? She's not your child, I am! Why talk about her so much!? And when I have better grade than her, it's usually only one or two subjects out of 8 or 10. They aren't excited as I hoped.

Sometimes I have thoughts leaving her, but I haven't because she's really nice and we have so much in common.
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I know how you feel my parents compared me to my sister always telling me "WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE YOUR SISTER?!" This is why I never ask for help or advice because I don't want to become someone that my parents want me to become. I have to learn to be my own self which is something that I've learned after for so long, but the pain still hurts me mentally.
 
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