Lightspring
🧡🖤
I’m overanalyzing my relationship even though I shouldn’t be. I should be happy that he’s spending so much time with his friends time after time and doing all of these activities. I feel really selfish that I feel jealous that he has a lot of friends to support him while I have little to no one. He tells me how great his day was and the challenges he does with his friends and I can’t help but feel lonely. The only thing I can tell him back was that I stayed at home and studied. I feel so boring and have no personality. I try and counter this by making new friends but they never seem to quite reciprocate back. I try to keep my options open and look for new people to be acquainted with but my social circle is very small and I can’t go anywhere. I have these feelings of having no where else to run and feeling useless. I feel trapped. I know he cares about me a lot and I appreciate it and I really want to make this work. I want him to feel appreciated and cared for when I can’t even do that for myself. I’m really sorry.
close to being done with school but I still have to write another entire essay and it's really upsetting 
; I think I should, just maybe not about yesterday and something else. This is another thing that will probably stick with me for awhile. I have counseling this week, but I don’t think I will be able to talk about it. I just feel like if my friends don’t understand me, then it is unlikely a stranger would even though she has been very supportive and seemed to understand. I know I am thinking silly but not sure really how to cope. I wish my friends would stick up for me once. Are my feelings not valid? Tired of all these negative feelings. Brain why can’t you just let me forget this crap.
