What's Bothering You?
- Thread starter Oblivia
- Start date
Happier follow up: managed to get a short course of sedatives from the pharmacist after explaining I've not been sleeping for almost three weeks.
And my boss let me book this afternoon and tomorrow off so I could get try and get some rest. Thankfully timed well with the construction workers putting down new lino outside my office.
bestfriendsally
Senior Member (my name's charlotte)
i got banned again on ''withthewill'' forum... (which is a digimon forum)
for complaining to a staff member....
i don't care... but it's getting lifted on the 28th...
i'm not posting on there anymore, ... i'll look... but i'm not posting anymore.... at least i don't think so
i don't care anymore right now....
i'm mad about it but not too mad
...
i gotta take my mind off it....
edit at 12:50 pm on 24/7/24 - i don't go on there often anyway... but that's not the point....
for complaining to a staff member....
i don't care... but it's getting lifted on the 28th...
i'm not posting on there anymore, ... i'll look... but i'm not posting anymore.... at least i don't think so
i don't care anymore right now....i'm mad about it but not too mad
...
i gotta take my mind off it....
edit at 12:50 pm on 24/7/24 - i don't go on there often anyway... but that's not the point....
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I'm still not feeling great about my potential new diagnosis of a schizophrenia spectrum disorder. My therapist believes it's schizoaffective disorder - depressive subtype, but until I'm screened again I don't know for sure. I know for sure it's going to affect how people treat me for the rest of my life even if I'm self aware of my symptoms and have done a lot of good things like volunteer work. Public perception about these disorders is almost completely negative. I'm very lucky all of the people I've opened to about it recently have been kind. I know for sure if people knew about it back in school I would've been bullied even worse.
Portrayals of us in fiction is almost completely negative. That's why I'm glad the novel I've been planning depicts a schizophrenia spectrum person in a more humane and understanding way. It'll show the character doing good things throughout the story and what it's actually like to experience hallucinations and psychosis. The way it's usually depicted in fiction isn't accurate at all and I want to change that. My biological grandmother on my sperm donor's side was a published author, so the writer blood runs in my genes. I was also always told to become a writer by almost every English teacher I had since they said I was talented. It'll also help me process and accept some of my own experiences from the past. It'll also feature what it's like to be autistic and nonbinary.
One of my past therapists said I could be published in a year. There are other books that present the illness in this way so it's my odds aren't zero. My only concern is that I've never written long form fiction before and have only written a few stories in the last ten years. I'm a person who gets story ideas every now and then, but feels daunted and ends up losing interest in writing it unless it's an assignment. If I want to actually get this story out I need to take my finished outline, sit, and actually write it.
Portrayals of us in fiction is almost completely negative. That's why I'm glad the novel I've been planning depicts a schizophrenia spectrum person in a more humane and understanding way. It'll show the character doing good things throughout the story and what it's actually like to experience hallucinations and psychosis. The way it's usually depicted in fiction isn't accurate at all and I want to change that. My biological grandmother on my sperm donor's side was a published author, so the writer blood runs in my genes. I was also always told to become a writer by almost every English teacher I had since they said I was talented. It'll also help me process and accept some of my own experiences from the past. It'll also feature what it's like to be autistic and nonbinary.
One of my past therapists said I could be published in a year. There are other books that present the illness in this way so it's my odds aren't zero. My only concern is that I've never written long form fiction before and have only written a few stories in the last ten years. I'm a person who gets story ideas every now and then, but feels daunted and ends up losing interest in writing it unless it's an assignment. If I want to actually get this story out I need to take my finished outline, sit, and actually write it.
You can do it, Neb. I believe in you. The most difficult part of any task is getting past the procrastination and actually working on it, but once you do it becomes a lot easier. It'd be amazing if you got it published and helped change people's perspectives on the illnesses. I'm skilled at writing myself and wanted to write a series of fictional books based on an original concept, but am so busy these days that I can't find the time for it. Your topic is even more interesting though because it deals with a subject a lot of people have to deal with every day. If you ever want to bounce ideas off of me or want me to hold you accountable for writing it, let me know!
xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
ended up being ten minutes late to work today because of traffic, and when I got here I really felt like I wanted to cry. I hate being late for work. I probably should've taken the day off honestly, I'm so exhausted.
also psoriasis is flaring up really bad again, hopefully I'll get a call soon to set up an appointment with a dermatologist but in the meantime I guess I'll just suffer :,,,,,,)
also psoriasis is flaring up really bad again, hopefully I'll get a call soon to set up an appointment with a dermatologist but in the meantime I guess I'll just suffer :,,,,,,)
Dunquixote
No dms and discord messages
My dad made fun of me when I came downstairs and asked something. My mom just tells me to ignore it. It is always just ignore it, to me which is like saying it is okay that he makes fun of me. :/
I’m not feeling much better than I have been the last few days. There have been little things that cheer me up here and there but even then it is still a struggle.
I’m not feeling much better than I have been the last few days. There have been little things that cheer me up here and there but even then it is still a struggle.
ZeldaCrossing64
Sugary Cynic
I'm tired of thinking that my problems feelings don't matter. The things is, they probably don't. I should just keep my ****ing mouth shut because nothing ever gets solved. I just get told "shut up, that's stupid" when I voice my concerns and I'm expected to be okay with it.
I'm just really annoyed right now since my family is getting on my nerves. I wanted to shower, but there's too many people and I'm uncomfortable showering when there's company over. It's too loud and I can hear everything from my room.
I'm just really annoyed right now since my family is getting on my nerves. I wanted to shower, but there's too many people and I'm uncomfortable showering when there's company over. It's too loud and I can hear everything from my room.
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ZeldaCrossing64
Sugary Cynic
Sorry for double-posting, but... I'm a little shaken.
I was basically forced into a video call with my grandma (on my mom's side), and it was super obvious that she was drunk. I really don't like talking to people who are inebriated, especially my family. It reminds me too much of my mom. Speaking of, my grandma mentioned that my mom's birthday would've been next week, and that she was gonna go decorate her grave. That just felt like a punch in the gut. How could she just casually say that when her death is still fresh on my mind...
Needless to say, the call made me feel even worse. I just can't deal with this.
Needless to say, the call made me feel even worse. I just can't deal with this.
Snap Crackle Pop
Senior Member
I don't really understand how asking for more hours at work somehow leads to me being told that starting in a few months they are going to hire more people and need to be able to give them hours as well and I am over here thinking why are you hiring more people if you can't give hours to your current workers.
So I guess there has been another sudden health scare out-of-state regarding one of my mom's family members. By now I haven't seen her in well over a month, and this situation could potentially make her stay even longer. It's now gotten to the point where my dad has to head down there as well for at least a weekend, which means having to cater to my pets alone. He offered to take me, but I would definitely not be mentally okay to go on this trip, and I need to keep working to get some form of income during the summer. Heck, my own dad even told me yesterday that he might have a heart problem of some sort and requested to check on him this morning to see if he wakes up. Thankfully that issue went away quickly.
I've already cried in front of my new therapist earlier today regarding other personal family matters unrelated to what I've explained (I very rarely get emotional by the way), and it's all too much for me to handle at the moment. If anyone has noticed a drop in my activity on TBT as of late, it is mostly because of the stuff I've explained before and my efforts to filter such bad stuff out of my memory. I can't let my emotions dictate what I post in normal threads. If I don't feel okay, I'll step away for a bit.
I hate posting in this thread. Sometimes, however, I feel as if it's the only way to make me feel better.
I've already cried in front of my new therapist earlier today regarding other personal family matters unrelated to what I've explained (I very rarely get emotional by the way), and it's all too much for me to handle at the moment. If anyone has noticed a drop in my activity on TBT as of late, it is mostly because of the stuff I've explained before and my efforts to filter such bad stuff out of my memory. I can't let my emotions dictate what I post in normal threads. If I don't feel okay, I'll step away for a bit.
I hate posting in this thread. Sometimes, however, I feel as if it's the only way to make me feel better.
caught myself ignoring almost everyone's text messages today and am wondering if responding at this moment will be okay despite me being in a really bad place mentally. had a conversation with a friend last night about avoidance and how i also tend to also use that when i'm really sad, but i wonder if i should just have some alone time to collect my thoughts and have some space and not feel guilty for ignoring everyone if i myself am not in the right mind to socialize atm. ahhhhhhhhhh im losing it rn.
