What's Bothering You?

[-Raven-]

I’m looking back on years of experience and what I’ve learned, and I feel like I can’t make anything out of it anymore.

Kind of just feels like nonsense and the ultimate point bing that I can’t get too attached to people. I want life to be so much more. Every tome I go through trauma though I get more resigned and this has really been a massive breaking point.

This is going to sound so vindictive and I guess it is, but it really bothers me the people responsible for contributing to this are never going to understand or face comeuppance. I thought I was better than this. Maybe I was and I’m not anymore. Progress isn’t linear but going back on years of mental development…..

 

[DaCoSim]

My dad (stepdad) has been in hospital twice this last week with pneumonia on top of stage three lung cancer. He’s down to under a hundred pounds and hasn’t eaten anything the past few days. They decided today to let him go home on hospice. It’s not going to be long. We’re about to go in and my plan is to stay as long as my mom & dad need me to stay. I lost my other day in may 2020 so this is a huge hard blow even though I knew this one was coming. He was diagnosed last august. My heart aches for him and my mom.

 

[Chris]

My dad (stepdad) has been in hospital twice this last week with pneumonia on top of stage three lung cancer. He’s down to under a hundred pounds and hasn’t eaten anything the past few days. They decided today to let him go home on hospice. It’s not going to be long. We’re about to go in and my plan is to stay as long as my mom & dad need me to stay. I lost my other day in may 2020 so this is a huge hard blow even though I knew this one was coming. He was diagnosed last august. My heart aches for him and my mom.

I'm so sorry to hear this @DaCoSim. It sounds like he's really suffering, so I hope he's getting the best end of life care. Cherish this time with him and try to remember him as he was in health. All my love to you and your family.

 

[DaCoSim]

I'm so sorry to hear this @DaCoSim. It sounds like he's really suffering, so I hope he's getting the best of end of life care. All my love to you and your family.

Thank u so much. Yeah, I’m hoping they are giving him plenty of meds to keep him out of pain. We’re leaving here in about to 30 min to head that way so we should be there by 5-6 my time. I just hope we make it in time to say goodbye. I didn’t get to say goodbye to my other dad.

 

[Chris]

Thank u so much. Yeah, I’m hoping they are giving him plenty of meds to keep him out of pain. We’re leaving here in about to 30 min to head that way so we should be there by 5-6 my time. I just hope we make it in time to say goodbye. I didn’t get to say goodbye to my other dad.

I really hope you get there in time. Absolutely here to talk later if you want someone outside of family to air thoughts to.

 

[Aniko]

Today it's canadian statistics and mandatory surveys that bother me, like "you have been chosen among millions to answer our survey and if you don't do it, we will go to your house" kind of survey. They chose my family more than 5 times already, and since nobody wants to do it I'm always the one forced to do it in the end and I'm really not good with those or any kind of surveys because questions are too confusing for me. Plus I hate phones or talking to ppl in general.

Like once they asked me if I could afford dentist once a year and I said "yes" (because I have no choise because of condition), then they asked me if I could afford clothes and I said "no", restaurant "no", cinema "no", I was being honest, the dentist takes all my money so I can't afford anything else but I couldn't explain that, so I don't know how they interpreted this. Once on the phone, I don't remember what it was about but the lady said I was contradicting myself all the time, and I told her she was not asking the right questions, then I got so flustered and annoyed that I answered "I don't know" or similar answers to all remaining questions. The rest of the family is no better, my mom being deaf just answer anything, we are messing their statistics, so they should stop bothering us! Today my mom couldn't understand what they were saying so she just hung up... ...ah...they might show up now...

With all that agitation I'm so behind with my diversity project...

 

[jiny]

i literally asked my manager for more hours and what do they do? proceed to give me less hours i’m not even considered part-time atp, i am actively looking for new jobs but haven’t heard back from any employers. i’m at my last straw w my current job honestly lmao

 

[-Lumi-]

I'm so angry and frustrated. All I did was slip while walking. On the flat sidewalk!!! I wasn't going up or down a hill or hiking or anything. Just regular walking. And now my ankle is broken and I feel so useless.

I miss the babies at work. My boss is going to call tomorrow to see about me going in next week and I just want to cry. I don't know what to do. I can't get around effectively. I'm hopping on one leg with my crutches still because it hurts to put any weight on the stupid broken ankle. And I can't hop around for long because then my other leg gets really tired. And my job is super active. I'm always on my feet.

It doesn't help that the hospital doctor didn't really tell me much. He left that for the specialist to do but I don't see them until July 8th so. Am I just supposed to keep hopping around and spending the day in bed until then?? I hate it. I hate this. I feel so useless and hopeless honestly.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

This is pretty minor (and it hasn't even happened), but I'm pretty frustrated about something.

Spoiler: Ugh

My brother is at a friend's house right now, and my parents are going to Montreal for the night. I was excited that I get to have the house to myself, since I like to be home alone... But my brother is coming back home with his friend.

This is just a disaster waiting to happen. My brother doesn't usually listen to me to begin with, but he's even more defiant when a friend is over; He doesn't listen to me AT ALL by then. It's incredibly frustrating and I have to contain my anger, which is really hard for me. Also, I have to do all the chores myself, since my brother insists I do it so he can spend more time with his friend. I get that, but it's not fun for me.

Honestly, I shouldn't even be complaining. This doesn't happen often, and there's probably others who have to live like this in much worse situations. But... I dunno. It sucks to know that my evening's gonna be wasted just so my brother can enjoy himself.

Also, we might get another storm tonight, so there's a good chance our power and Internet will go out. Which is exactly what we needed. :T

 

[VanitasFan26]

I really feel like I'm backed into a corner.

 

[The Pennifer]

Oh, my precious @DaCoSim … my heart is weeping for you … I will private message you later … here are some loving comforting hugs … be strong Honey

 

[xSuperMario64x]

literally just told my neighbour yesterday, I'm hoping to drive my car for another year or two at least. now I'm not sure if I'll even have it for another month.

I've been having so many issues with it, I've sunk over a thousand dollars into it since the beginning of this year. I had to replace the battery (and buy a battery jumpstarter), replace both front tires, replace all four rotors and brake pads for them, replace the passenger side brake light housing, replace the entire radio head unit, and I just paid to have my AC system evaluated and I bought a brand new compressor because the old one is completely shot. now I have to buy new back tires, the one on the passenger side is shot and the driver side pretty much is too. not to mention, I still have no clue what's going on with my fuel system, and sometimes my car will just stall because the fuel system is "too lean". my car broke down four times while I was in Ontario, one time it literally wouldn't start at all (scared poor Shell half to death), and it's stalled a few times since I've been home as well. not to mention all the electrical issues my car has, and now the gear shifter is going out and that's about $230.

I'm so tired of this, I'm tired of constantly sinking more money into this car than it's worth. we got it for $5k back in 2019, it might not even be worth half that now. I didn't think I was on the market yet for a new car, but I may not have a choice now. my car is slowly but surely becoming an unreliable source of transport, and considering I commute 250 miles per week for work, that's kinda not a good thing.

it sucks because I've been driving my buggy (a 2007 VW Beetle convertible) for almost four years now, and I have a lot of wonderful memories with this car. but as much as I love my buggy, I can't afford to maintain it like this. I just can't. it's bleeding me dry. I already struggle with finances because I'm only working part-time. I need to find something that's reliable and affordable, even if it means leasing it for however many years.

I don't know what to do, this is so frustrating and I don't have much money to work with. I'm just annoyed.

 

[themysterybidder]

People who hardly know me, thinking they know everything about me.

Edit: I'm having one of those days. It started off good, then it's went downhill.

 

[boring]

Spoiler

A while ago I said my roommate was being very horrible to me about my CPTSD by like, making me cry and have flashbacks and stuff and I just want to vent that its gotten SO MUCH WORSE. Ive been forced into a situation where I have to shut up and quietly sit in my flashbacks while he gets to do whatever he wants to trigger them until he (finally) moves out.
He is absolutely convinced Ive been talking to other people we know about the issues I take with him and lord I wish I had been because maybe then I would feel better - I was arguing with him about this and pointing out that its just not possible that he's 'spoken to people seem to have spoken with', since I only spoke to one person we both know about this (this person has been trying to help us) but he just keeps being so rude to me and replying with things like 'Mhm.' and 'Im not snitching on [who I spoke to] like. are you insane. I have found this so triggering and infuriating because its just not true. I wish I had been talking about this to other people but the truth is that Ive found this all very embarrassing and humiliating since its my PTSD that's getting worse because of this and Ive therefore hid it from my social circle.

He told me I only care about my mental health and act like Im the only one with problems (so close! Im actually just the only person who has communicated I have issues and you're the person who agreed to be considerate! If you had an issue or needed your own considerations you should've said and I would've listened) and apparently all his friends don't like me and don't like coming to our house (Ive never met them??? Idk who they are????). For someone who is accusing me of having told loads of people about this, it sure is funny how all these people who are strangers to me know the drama and hate me for *checks papers* setting boundaries. I just feel so small and stupid because the stalemate of it (that HE decided on) was 'stay away from me and ill stay away from you' but we LIVE together, so Im forced to be uncomfortable in my own home. I came to this city to escape abuse and homelessness and this is the first home Ive ever had but for most of 2024 Ive felt trapped by his selfishness. This is my only home in the world, I want the doors to be open and the air to be light. I don't want to always hide in the corner like Im 14,15,16,17,18,19,20 again. And its all well and good for him because while he pushes back my recovery (that I have worked so hard for) by a million steps and then leaves me and my partner to pick up the pieces, he gets to toddle off along to his job in another continent, probably talking crap the entire way.

I guess its upsetting that he's doing the vast majority of the things he's accusing me of, like only caring about his own problems and talking about me to other people. Theres so much more but I cant get into it because his actions really are giving me flashbacks, I just needed to vent. When he moves out it will be me, my partner and two dear friends who have always been very respectful of my deep deep trauma and supportive of my recovery. That will be good - no more regressions because of someone else's horrible actions.

There. Now I really have spoken about you to other people.

And the most annoying part is all of this has made me unable to create any craft for the on going event. That alone is enough to make me sob, since I really wanted to make a piece about my Greek Jewish identity

Edit: There has been a development in the 20 minutes since I posted it which is we have found the wine glasses given to us by my partners parents amongst our roommates belongings. Every single glass, which are unique and special and also older than we are. Theyre also filthy and stored in ways that's just asking for them to get broken. This really doesn't bode well for our roommate who also has a habit of ignoring my pleas to return the special cutlery I bought when we moved in, a set which has been shrinking for months and months. I know its just cutlery but I absolutely adore them and the vast majority of the set is gone - sometimes pieces show up in his dish-washing-pile but most of the time they just disappear.

 

[Doo]

Oh @boring i don’t know what to say but that’s awful, I’m so sorry

 

[Foreverfox]

I hate people.

My partner likes when I crossdress, so I did that for our date tonight. Result? I was out the house less than 3 minutes before someone wolf-whistled from their car. Like what the hell dude. Is this what women have to put up with?

Yeah, I hate people too. Last year or maybe it was two years ago now, I tried to take Nicholas out for a walk by myself (usually my husband goes with us) - I didn’t even make it past the next block before I was cat-called. I immediately called my husband and told him I wasn’t going to go by myself anymore. And we live in a nice neighborhood, it’s a shame.

 

[Yoshi155]

There was this one post I made in this thread a long time ago. The reason I’m bringing it up is because I hate that I still feel this way. Why do I give a **** about someone else’s opinions on me? Why do I have to be insecure? Why can’t I just not care. Whatever, I’ll just stop now. I don’t think this will ever change.

 

[Doo]

When I was younger, someone made fun of me for liking animal crossing. They mocked all my interests to the point that I can’t share them at all with people irl anymore. I’m grateful for everyone here showing me that it’s okay

 

[Croconaw]

-snip-

Somebody that was 10 years old told me that they used to like Pokémon, but they grew out of it. He told me he was too old for it, and was even making fun of me for liking it, among other things, despite being the same age.

Having any interests at any age is okay. I'm realizing that people are more open about their interests now rather than keeping them hidden, and I think that's great. It's obvious with anime. It used to be taboo or unheard of to like it, or you were seen as weird. Now, I can't go a day without seeing somebody wearing anime merch. It makes me happy that it's more widely accepted now, and that people aren't embarrassed to show love for their interests. There are even anime movies coming to theaters. I can't say I could've ever predicted that ten years ago.

 

[Clock]

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