What's Bothering You?

just now i was at home depot with my father and younger brother and a lady fell to the ground and passed out. she stopped breathing so my dad and her family helped turn her to her side and she started vomiting while someone called 911. we did what we could to help while the ambulance came and i did see them wheel her out.

however during this i was absolutely baffled by the fact that half of the people who saw her ignored her and pretended that she wasn’t there. like literally walking around her and acting like nothing was happening. where are people’s hearts nowadays? it triggered me more than i can express.
 
Minor thing:

I don't know how people actually manage to win eBay auctions. I mean, I know, but it has just never worked for me for as long as I've used the site. Always prefer when they just have a Buy Now option. The thing I was trying to get wasn't like, super important or anything, it just would've been neat to own. Oh well.
 
Minor thing:

I don't know how people actually manage to win eBay auctions. I mean, I know, but it has just never worked for me for as long as I've used the site. Always prefer when they just have a Buy Now option. The thing I was trying to get wasn't like, super important or anything, it just would've been neat to own. Oh well.
I always wanted to be petty with ebay snipers/bots and just bet like $1 below their default bid so they have to pay 'full price' lol
 
i've been breaking out so much lately and it's made me so much more insecure :< i've struggled with acne for years honestly, and my skin was doing so good before march, when i randomly got a breakout on my jawline/neck, its so stubborn and will not go away, ive tried so many spot treatments, different face washes, and i dont understand what triggered it in the first place!!! but now im feeling so insecure and makes me not wanna show my face anywhere lol
 
its been 6 months since i ended my last relationship, and all the feelings i had for him basically went away before i even ended things. from what i remember, he treated me horribly. but then i remember the nice things he did for me? then i feel stupid, like it wasnt all bad but at the same time i remember the bad, small things he did that added up and made me feel horrible. anyways, come to find out hes talking to a new girl it makes me feel sick?? idk why?? i know i dont want him back, but why do i feel sad that hes moving on.... ive moved on too, ive already gone on dates and everything which makes me seem like a hypocrite. i assume its because i dont want him to be happy because of the way he treated me? like idk how to put my feelings into words but everytime i think about him with someone else it makes me feel so sick and makes me sad at the same time ????? like how is it fair that he gets to be w another girl but im over here still struggling with the way he left me emotionally, to the point its affecting my relationships with new people. it feels so silly and petty to be upset over something like this, there are bigger things in the world to be worried about but im here upset over my ex LOL i really dont even know what i feel anymore, i just hate that hes out there possibly being happy and im just not, im struggling
 
Today has already been a roller coaster of emotions. Maybe I should have taken today off too. Slightly worried about what I will walk into today at work after being off for a week.
Today would have been my grandfather’s Birthday and though he passed years ago I still miss him. I miss our talks and walks in the park . I miss how I could always go to him with anything. He was kind and loving and always accepted me . I don’t always feel that way with most of my family. I just miss my Papa Bear.

It doesn’t help that today is Father’s Day. I miss the person I thought I knew . I wish we could have had a good relationship but no matter how hard I tried it wasn’t meant to be. Whenever you are I hope you are well. I still care about you and always will.
 
I've already had my Internet connection looked at, and despite having connection, a few times my laptop will suddenly mess up and say 'Connected, no internet'

But I'm using it right now on my phone and it's fine. The router is displaying the correct light so I dunno why it's being like this.
 
me looking at all my unanswered messages and convos cuz i’ve been unable to find the mental energy to write a sentence for months
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Ive wanted to sob all day today. Doesnt help that Ive been doing a lot of my activism work today so naturally, Ive watched a lot of harrowing videos today. Im having a hard time holding it in, I just need my partner to come home.
 
i hate spending moneeeeeeyyyyyyy ugh. i just bought a car and i KNOW i needed to get a new one for my own safety, but man :\ having a car payment is a harsh reality i have not had to deal with in years. that + student loans still looming over me. ugh.
i will get over it eventually.
 
I'm not really happy about Father's Day anymore since my father went into a mid-life crisis and moved out of the house back in 2014, it has just been me and my mom living in the house ever since. The situation got so bad that we once ran away to a state fair to escape from our troubles. At least my father is much nicer and he doesn't act hostile anymore, but it still hurts to be reminded about Father's Day and seeing other people around with their fathers to this day.

I'm still in contact with my father, he now lives in a house near mine. Even though I'm not close with him, I still sent him his Father's Day wishes via text messaging.

But my mom has it much worse...her father had MS and died of a heart attack when she was only 8-years-old. It sucks never being able to meet my grandfather.
 
The stress from moving again next week plus having a decent amount of coffee this morning has made me super stressed and anxious. I think I’m going to cut caffeine and just drink decaf until I’m settled in my new place and I’m not stressed anymore.
 
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