What's Bothering You?

i’ve been having really weird skin reactions either to the weather and my allergies have been reaaaaallly bad lately 😣😣

i went to an allergy specialist and they told me my skin isn’t reacting to environmental allergens but that i am allergic to ragweed and cats (the most devastating news tbh)
she said i could probably ask to be referred to a dermatologist for a testing but idk, maybe i’ll get around to it 😔
 
this is just a minor thing, but my PS2 really struggles to read discs. well, everything except for Revenge of the Flying Dutchman, it reads that game flawslessly. tell it to read anything else and it sits down and pouts like a child lol. I just want to play Gran Turismo 3 and Battle for Bikini Bottom, I know I've had this PS2 for like 20 years but come on 😭

himekirako said:
i’ve been having really weird skin reactions either to the weather and my allergies have been reaaaaallly bad lately 😣😣

i went to an allergy specialist and they told me my skin isn’t reacting to environmental allergens but that i am allergic to ragweed and cats (the most devastating news tbh)
she said i could probably ask to be referred to a dermatologist for a testing but idk, maybe i’ll get around to it 😔
Click to expand...
honestly in the same boat, I've been feeling itchy all over and really uncomfortable with the recent change in weather. benadryl helps a bit but not much. I had an allergy test done two years ago and found out that I'm allergic to ragweed, but ragweed doesn't come out til July here and I've been dealing with allergies off and on so I may or may not also be developing a cat allergy. feels like I may need another test done. hopefully you can get some answers, I know it can be frustrating.
 
a lot of the times I remember my Hammie.

I was browsing through an artist alley earlier when I saw hamster stickers that reminded me of my hamster..... I bought them and now that I'm at home I'm looking at the stickers again and I started to cry. My hamster Hammie passed away 3 years ago but I still think about her a lot... there are so many things that remind me of her, and even though she's only been with me for a year and a half, I still love her so much and I hope she knows that I loved her dearly. She was the very first pet I got to take care on my own, and she was with me for most of my first year alone in my apartment. She made me feel happy, she kept me company, and overall we had a lot of fun. Like literally without her I would be way more depressed, she filled my little apartment with life and sunshine. There was nothing much I could do during her final moments since we didn't have a nearby vet that specialized in hamsters, and a lot of the times I blame myself for whatever sickness she got. I couldn't also accept the fact that hamsters' lifespans were pretty short, so one way or another I was going to lose her too quickly....

Anyway, I want to learn how to feel at peace with myself and the passing of my hamster, I want to not beat myself up about what happened because I know deep down that I loved her so much. The hamster stickers I bought had the hamster smiling, eating, and one even said "I love you!" which absolutely broke me. I hope, hope, hope my hamster enjoyed her time on Earth with me, I hope she's happy wherever she is, running freely and eating all the sunflower seeds she wants. I hope she remembers me too. I hope she loves me too.

I miss her so much and I want to be at peace with her passing, even if it's been 3 years already.
 
I guess this is ironic after the last post (I don't exactly disagree though- I think people in general need more self-awareness).

Kinda coming to terms with how that guy I did cut out did use me up and I feel gaslit into thinking otherwise. Maybe it's the pain of those memories, making me feel so used, but that friendship truly was not normal or more importantly reasonable. I can seriously see why people kept cutting him out. I'm not the first one who did it.

It shouldn't matter, none of it should matter, he was always just some guy that inserted himself into my life, buttered me up and talked himself up... To ignore how much I cared and believed would also be unempathetic toward myself. I have to grieve that kind of loss again. It never gets easy. It never will.

Things could be a lot worse and I'm safe now. I'm away from that guy, another old haunt that hurt growing up, a veritable manipulator and... It's strange because I don't quite believe it or know what to do with myself.

Am I posting this in public out of old habit?
 
A lot of my friends have been feeling quite low these days, and they all came to me to vent and to have a shoulder to cry on. But with all the things they're dealing with, I feel like I don't have room to say that I, too, am feeling low and need someone to help me.
 
So my old shop I worked at took no time at all to gut the place inside out and make 'more modern' as someone said, and then has already opened this week.
What's gotten on my nerves is being lied to. My 'boss' said in her lil group chat message saying it was only her working there for a bit, and that was just for the paperwork bit. But today, I decided to have a quick glance in the shop window, and spotted her to be husband working there, sadly he did see he me and I quickly left.

Already gotten some people complain about the place aready though.

I mean, they;re only making it worse on themselves. I ain't backing down on reporting them for stuff.
 
Now this is just a silly video game complaint but Minecraft Realms… why is the limit on Bedrock only 3 people playing at once? You can have 20 if you just have it online without any sort of Realms sub and even Realms+ is 11 at once. Why do you pay more and get less? Why is it so stupid? Why have Microsoft mismanaged Minecraft so much over time? I miss my og account. Anyway, I’ve made a world for me and my server and I’d love to make it a Realm but with those limits is it even worth? Rhetorical question. This bothers me immensely.
 
Kinda wish I took the time to join in on the event. Looks like it was a lot of fun and I probably missed out on some fun shenanigans, but I just wasn't feeling it. I barely had the energy to get up and go to work everyday after dealing with things. I don't want to trigger anyone so I'll just leave it at that. You can skip this post, I just thought it might help to write it down.
 
I wish I was interested in certain things so I could join in on this thing some of my friends are doing, but I just can’t bring myself to force myself to do anything I’m not interested in. I don’t think it’s worth it, but sometimes I feel a little left out.

But thankfully, I’m not acting on these thoughts. I’m just letting it go and not thinking too much about it. It’s just weird seeing conversations I can’t be apart of because it’s discussing something I know nothing about.
 
Yesterday was a pretty good day. In between matches, i had some intrusive thoughts/feelings. Like I’m wondering if my friend will remember to chat with me again. And my heart still hurts about everything. I can’t stop myself from tearing up randomly. I hope today will be another good day.

sorry for being a broken record.
 
I’m alright, but I never quite internalise that I’m good enough. I reason that I am but when the universe gives me particular roadblocksI can’t stop doubting it for stretches.

I wonder what it’s going to take for me to believe again. Just to see long enough that life is okay I suppose.
 
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