What's Bothering You?
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xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
fourth night in a row that I've woken up I'm the middle of the night, except this time it was 4am instead of 5:30am and my time lying here, trying to go back to sleep, has been littered with very uncomfortable intrusive thoughts. fun! 
I took another one of my meds so hopefully I can go back to sleep soon, I'm not staying awake.
also sad bc my flower luck is actually nonexistent but like, what can I do. praying someone will trade me a gold rose somewhere down the line.
I took another one of my meds so hopefully I can go back to sleep soon, I'm not staying awake.
also sad bc my flower luck is actually nonexistent but like, what can I do. praying someone will trade me a gold rose somewhere down the line.
Feeling horrible today. Yesterday we flew back from Japan to our home country, to stay here indefinitely, due to a medical emergency within my family inlaw. That's already stressful enough, but we had to rush back and had no time to enjoy our last couple of days in Japan, and have to cancel our 2 month trip to south east asia...
Now we have to tend to our family, and soon enough we'll need to find housing and a job again... might not seem like the worst thing, and ofcourse our main focus is on the health of our family. But it's been hard on us all around. My heart is crying
Now we have to tend to our family, and soon enough we'll need to find housing and a job again... might not seem like the worst thing, and ofcourse our main focus is on the health of our family. But it's been hard on us all around. My heart is crying
ZeldaCrossing64
Sugary Cynic
I wish I could be confident more in my skills and be gentle on myself with the stuff I'm not-so-good at. I heard one of my classmates play guitar in music class, and I was like, "They sound really good! ...Not like I'd ever be at that level". Even though I haven't spent a ton of time practicing, I still feel like I haven't made any improvement at all since the first time I tried out guitar.
Not like I'd be able to practice anytime soon, anyways. I got frustrated because my hands were too shaky to play, and then I cut my fingertip when I pressed too hard on a string. It started bleeding and I had to bandage it. How the hell did that even happen?
I'm trying to remind myself that I'm diving into a newish hobby with very little guidance/tutorials, and that I'll be good eventually if I keep practicing. But at the same time, I get discouraged when I do play 'cause I can't even stand how I sound. I don't want to give up on this, though.
Not like I'd be able to practice anytime soon, anyways. I got frustrated because my hands were too shaky to play, and then I cut my fingertip when I pressed too hard on a string. It started bleeding and I had to bandage it. How the hell did that even happen?
I'm trying to remind myself that I'm diving into a newish hobby with very little guidance/tutorials, and that I'll be good eventually if I keep practicing. But at the same time, I get discouraged when I do play 'cause I can't even stand how I sound. I don't want to give up on this, though.
My mom started her chemo meds this week and I’m so worried about side effects. So far so good but I can’t help but worry.
I found out today that one of my Aunts had a heart attack on Monday . They placed a stent and she is slowly recovering. I would love to visit her but she is states away.
I found out today that one of my Aunts had a heart attack on Monday . They placed a stent and she is slowly recovering. I would love to visit her but she is states away.
Dunquixote
No dms and discord messages
I’m starting to think that my best friend is never going to chat with me again. i know he’s busy and he always has done this where it’d be weeks or a month or so until I hear from him again, but i can’t help but feel like it’s different and he forgot about me. I’m trying to keep my mood up and distract myself and avoid looking at where my whatsapp is on my phone or my text notifications but it is impossible to avoid seeing it when i need to go to text my mom something. I wonder if he’ll even say happy birthday to me when it’s my birthday.
Maybe I really am incompatible as a friend.
I just sent him another text but he didn’t respond to the last one or my whatsapp message. :/
I’m so lonely. sorry if I sound like a broken record. >.<.
Maybe I really am incompatible as a friend.
I just sent him another text but he didn’t respond to the last one or my whatsapp message. :/
I’m so lonely. sorry if I sound like a broken record. >.<.
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NOBODY AT SCHOOL TOLD ME REGISTRATION WAS OPEN UNTIL NOW **** **** **** AND I CAN"T REGISTER RN
plus one of my classes is a ****ing zoom class UGH at least it's the only option and i didn't miss out on in person (yet)
plus one of my classes is a ****ing zoom class UGH at least it's the only option and i didn't miss out on in person (yet)
Mr_Keroppi
Senior Member
I just want to rant a teensy bit so thankfully its not something super important!
I am so sorry its so long but if anyone has any advice or anything like please let me know haha, maybe I'm the crazy one here. I just really needed to let this out and not delete it since I have been so frusterated the past week.
I have been super disappointed in my recent ELA project. I looked forward to this ALL Year, our podcast project. I was put into a group with three girls and only one of them was my good friend. I love this because new friends right? But the thing is one of the girls has been an absolute nightmare. This whole assignment has been a very unpleasant experience and I have not agreed with the creative direction that the girls have gone with at all but the thing is its their podcast, and mine(?)
Basically, I was given role as the editor / producer since I was the only one that knew how to use Audacity, it ended up coming out really well except... quality isnt the only thing that matters. The content did to me since it was a sensitive topic. We were supposed to make a podcast on a problem in our world and the girls chose sexual violence. I was originally really excited because I would love to raise awareness on a topic like this. I even got to interview my favorite teacher and she was so sweet and helped me out. The sad thing is that... I let the girls have creative control since it is a group you know and they had some....... interesting decisions. I mean the stuff about how men are evil and stuff can be true but as a male I was uncomfortable putting my name on a product like this. I am normally so impressed and proud of everything I submit but I just couldnt get into this.
I was so thankful my good group member did all of her work and even worked hard to make sure that my perspective was included through an interview with a senior and by talking about generalizing awareness and getting men to speak up as it happens more often than you think. The other two girls were just very immature and quite ignorant when they were speaking on a topic with the intent of educating and raising awareness. It kind of broke my heart.
All the teachers and general message ended up really well I just was shocked with the two girls and how they said "that men think its ok to do this kind of thing to women" rather than just something like "that offenders believe its okay to do these acts to others." And other statements behind the cameras like "men cannot get sexually abused" "they should be strong enough to push them off" "males don't really get abused though" "its mostly girls" "guys should like it lol." Things like that just rubbed me the wrong way. Its disgusting what our society has come too. The purpose is to raise awareness of sexual violence and eliminate all stigmas, including the ones surrounding men. Its wrong for both men and women and I just really did not like this project.
Disregarding the SNARKY comments and rude statements when I did 55% of the work, my friend did 35%, and the other two only recorded. it's over YAY and I am proud of me and the other girls work as me and her are close friends and she did great!
Basically, I was given role as the editor / producer since I was the only one that knew how to use Audacity, it ended up coming out really well except... quality isnt the only thing that matters. The content did to me since it was a sensitive topic. We were supposed to make a podcast on a problem in our world and the girls chose sexual violence. I was originally really excited because I would love to raise awareness on a topic like this. I even got to interview my favorite teacher and she was so sweet and helped me out. The sad thing is that... I let the girls have creative control since it is a group you know and they had some....... interesting decisions. I mean the stuff about how men are evil and stuff can be true but as a male I was uncomfortable putting my name on a product like this. I am normally so impressed and proud of everything I submit but I just couldnt get into this.
I was so thankful my good group member did all of her work and even worked hard to make sure that my perspective was included through an interview with a senior and by talking about generalizing awareness and getting men to speak up as it happens more often than you think. The other two girls were just very immature and quite ignorant when they were speaking on a topic with the intent of educating and raising awareness. It kind of broke my heart.
All the teachers and general message ended up really well I just was shocked with the two girls and how they said "that men think its ok to do this kind of thing to women" rather than just something like "that offenders believe its okay to do these acts to others." And other statements behind the cameras like "men cannot get sexually abused" "they should be strong enough to push them off" "males don't really get abused though" "its mostly girls" "guys should like it lol." Things like that just rubbed me the wrong way. Its disgusting what our society has come too. The purpose is to raise awareness of sexual violence and eliminate all stigmas, including the ones surrounding men. Its wrong for both men and women and I just really did not like this project.
Disregarding the SNARKY comments and rude statements when I did 55% of the work, my friend did 35%, and the other two only recorded. it's over YAY and I am proud of me and the other girls work as me and her are close friends and she did great!
I am so sorry its so long but if anyone has any advice or anything like please let me know haha, maybe I'm the crazy one here. I just really needed to let this out and not delete it since I have been so frusterated the past week.
ZeldaCrossing64
Sugary Cynic
Keroppi, I am so sorry to hear that. It's not a small complaint at all, and it really sucks that this happened. It's disheartening that you put so much work into your project with the intention of spreading awareness, only to not be proud of it because of your teammates.
I would suggest talking to a trusted person at your school, whether it be a teacher or other staff member. You shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable due to your teammates making hurtful and insensitive comments like that. You had good intentions and put a lot of effort into the project, which they should've recognized.
I would suggest talking to a trusted person at your school, whether it be a teacher or other staff member. You shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable due to your teammates making hurtful and insensitive comments like that. You had good intentions and put a lot of effort into the project, which they should've recognized.
Dunquixote
No dms and discord messages
sorry for posting so soon.
my best friend just messaged me on whatsapp and i can’t stop crying even though nothing bad has happened. He just said hi and asked me how I am. so we’re finally chatting. aside from me crying, it feels almost like things are normal. he’s even scolding me on stagnating on unpacking. he has left me hanging for so long and now he’s scolding me. i know he really does care and never is intentionally mean to me, but like it hurts that he wasn’t here after he told me about meeting someone and how bad I was feeling. I’m happy we’re still friends but at the same time I’m so sad. I can’t stop crying when I think of him or hear from him.
edit: why does he have to add after saying he won’t forget when I asked if he won’t forget to talk to me again, he has now a lot of things in life. I don’t need to be reminded he has a gf since i know that is what he meant.
edit: why does he have to add after saying he won’t forget when I asked if he won’t forget to talk to me again, he has now a lot of things in life. I don’t need to be reminded he has a gf since i know that is what he meant.
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-Apples-
Apple Imperialist
It’s been three weeks since I’ve been permanently banned from Mollycord, and yet I’m still suffering grief over my ban from the server. I know that it’s best to move on from stuff like this, but it’s very difficult for me to move on considering the following:
I have a question for you guys. How long does it take to let go of your anger if you’ve been hit with injustice like this? Does it take a few days, a few weeks, or is it something that’s difficult to let go of?
- I never broke the server rules, yet they still moderated me for stuff they didn’t like.
- They were excessively harsh over their warnings towards me.
- They even moderated me for off-server activity.
- The rules were inconsistently applied.
I have a question for you guys. How long does it take to let go of your anger if you’ve been hit with injustice like this? Does it take a few days, a few weeks, or is it something that’s difficult to let go of?
ali.di.magix
🌟💫🌟💫
Ankle pain 
I always feel like there was a lot more damage done after ankle surgery; fallen arches and possibly nerve damage?? Or maybe I'm being a hypochondriac lol
I always feel like there was a lot more damage done after ankle surgery; fallen arches and possibly nerve damage?? Or maybe I'm being a hypochondriac lol
xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
I'm gonna have to take another cat to the rescue. she has been peeing all over our house, which is ridiculous bc we have three other cats (my three boys) and they all use the litter box just fine. she has like 5-6 different spots she pees on, and sometimes she just goes wherever she wants. I've caught her almost peeing in a food bowl a few times these last couple of weeks, and today I did catch her doing it.
I can't deal with this, I won't put up with it. my dad is gonna throw a fit I'm sure, but I really don't care. if he wants to live in disgusting filth then what the **** ever, but as long as my mom and I are living here I'd like our house to not become a biohazard cesspool (if it isn't already).
the place I want to take her is a rescue that I worked at for a while, they take good care of their cats and will even put them in foster homes if need be.
I always feel guilty doing stuff like that bc I know that animals undergo a lot of stress when being surrendered, but I seriously cannot have a cat who pees in the food bowls and every other place. it's unhealthy and unsanitary, and just downright disgusting. and considering my dad is basically a hoarder and refuses to clean, I know nothing will get better. I don't have the time or patience to deal with this anymore, I'm done. my dad can get over himself and stop being such a stubborn control freak.
I can't deal with this, I won't put up with it. my dad is gonna throw a fit I'm sure, but I really don't care. if he wants to live in disgusting filth then what the **** ever, but as long as my mom and I are living here I'd like our house to not become a biohazard cesspool (if it isn't already).
the place I want to take her is a rescue that I worked at for a while, they take good care of their cats and will even put them in foster homes if need be.
I always feel guilty doing stuff like that bc I know that animals undergo a lot of stress when being surrendered, but I seriously cannot have a cat who pees in the food bowls and every other place. it's unhealthy and unsanitary, and just downright disgusting. and considering my dad is basically a hoarder and refuses to clean, I know nothing will get better. I don't have the time or patience to deal with this anymore, I'm done. my dad can get over himself and stop being such a stubborn control freak.
i cried really bad earlier cuz i missed home and i cant go home in the foreseeable future bc my schedule is all messed up and i dont have more than 2 consecutive days off which is just not worth it. i miss home i miss my family i miss my room i miss my dog i miss literally everything there, i hate it here where it's dirty and messy and crowded and loud, i hate my small ass apartment that makes me feel so cramped up and lonely, i hate that it doesnt feel like home at all here. all i want to do is go home and curl up on our sofa on a lazy afternoon, i hate staying here and being forced to work almost every day for 12 hours. i hate how i dont have weekends off, i hate how we dont have holidays off, i hate how all i do is wake up eat work go home sleep repeat. i want to go home. i want to enjoy my life and spend my time doing things. i dont want to spend my free time in anxiety of my next shift. please i just want to go home to my family and loved ones.
also my friend told me i should probably go see a psychiatrist at this point bc ive been feeling Not So Great and i have so much pent-up feelings for years that i havent been able to fully sort out. And i have this kind of weird depressive/anxious episode during a specific time of the day? i absolutely hate sunsets, i used to cry frequently when i'd see a sunset and im alone, like there's just this great wave of sadness and anxiety that consumes me and it pretty much continues through the night. the Sad Episode i had earlier was during sunset time too so idk i dunno what to think of it. though im really scared to go to a psychiatrist bc i remember an experience i had with a counselor back then who basically told me i was just sensitive and that i needed to get over it. so for years i always thought i was just a big baby and havent learned how to Not Be Sensitive idk.
sorry my thoughts derailed so much idk how to end this post. i have no satisfying conclusion
also my friend told me i should probably go see a psychiatrist at this point bc ive been feeling Not So Great and i have so much pent-up feelings for years that i havent been able to fully sort out. And i have this kind of weird depressive/anxious episode during a specific time of the day? i absolutely hate sunsets, i used to cry frequently when i'd see a sunset and im alone, like there's just this great wave of sadness and anxiety that consumes me and it pretty much continues through the night. the Sad Episode i had earlier was during sunset time too so idk i dunno what to think of it. though im really scared to go to a psychiatrist bc i remember an experience i had with a counselor back then who basically told me i was just sensitive and that i needed to get over it. so for years i always thought i was just a big baby and havent learned how to Not Be Sensitive idk.
sorry my thoughts derailed so much idk how to end this post. i have no satisfying conclusion
-Apples-
Apple Imperialist
I hardly got any sleep last night, I couldn’t go back to sleep right now. It’s hard to get some sleep when I’m under a lot of stress.
Honestly, just thinking about the Mollycord situation has put a lot of stress and anxiety on me. Even when I got to vent about it, it’s still too much for me to handle.
Honestly, just thinking about the Mollycord situation has put a lot of stress and anxiety on me. Even when I got to vent about it, it’s still too much for me to handle.
Cutting your fingers on the strings is a rite of passage; Pink Floyd sang about it, and they’re the greats. You got this
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