What's Bothering You?

The existential crisis continued to bother me today. It weighed me down and made it hard to enjoy anything. Once I ate I did feel marginally better though.
 
I'm feeling really conflicted bc a few days ago I sent a family friend (the same person who offered me a job at a local cat rescue) a message to see if she could find a foster home for one of our cats, bc she's been difficult to deal with, but now I feel really conflicted. she's not a bad cat at all, she's just very finicky and she honestly should be in a home with at most 2 other cats, not 5. honestly if I lived on my own and it was just her and my older cat I would be able to handle them. I just have a difficult time handling 6 cats at once.

I feel like I will be in a much better place soon, since I started my bipolar med and I'm working on recovering and unlearned all the stuff I got from having poor mental health. and who knows, once I've taken care of myself maybe I can handle all those cats. but right now it's still super difficult. and I just don't know what to do abt the one cat.

I know this for sure, when I'm on my own I def wouldn't want more than two cats. the older I get the more I lose my patience for them. 6 is too many to deal with.
 
I’m on a server that’s generally cool but it’s really obvious a bunch of them don’t care about art. There was a stupid AI art debate and one of the people there admitted that they just see art as means to an end. They don’t care about the process, and they seem to have pretty superficial ideas but still said they were doing the work of conceptualising.

People say that handmade art will always be valued but it’s discouraging when the people who actually don’t are more vocal, currently more visible, etc. with the whole AI art thing. I hate it so much. It’s difficult enough to find people with whom I can discuss art and feelings and meaning in it down to brushstrokes, composition, appropriation of aesthetics or time periods and what all that means etc. Truly philosophical art seems to become more and more niche.

Also, it kinda feels like any time I go on that server I just disagree with people at this point. I have a lot of hot takes in general, but they also just generally don’t like the newest games in that series. I’m not just negative, but it’s like even when I’m into the game I find this server and others aren’t and just complain about it when it’s mentioned. Like, idk. I’m just disappointed I’m on a place that actually has cool people and rules, and isn’t too big or small, but I still feel like I can never fit in anywhere.

Genuinely why bother sharing my art there. I don’t have the energy or time to challenge some strangers’ notions.

This also continues my streak of hating Discord. I feel so lucky to be on this forum even if I’m not super active, I love it here, theres something homely about it. Wish I had more to share here haha.
 
my art class is having a field trip on tuesday and i really don’t want to go. the bus is leaving at 9:00 am and we get back at 11:00 am, it’s two hours but the bus situation stresses me out.

it’s only for the art people, the rest of the school isn’t going so i’ll miss some classes.
 
Lately I haven't been able to focus on tasks. It's pretty frustrating that I can't get anything done.
 
Croconaw said:
I ****ing hate minors lol but I guess it’s my own fault because I let them use me for alcohol in exchange for friendship. I will never be friends with another minor again. I just can’t trust them or my dumbass not to let them use me. They’re so immature and are not good people to be friends with. I can’t do it anymore.

Lol like I said, they will NOT BE TRUSTED. I had another panic attack thanks to one of them.
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If you take away alcohol, what is the common grounds/interest? It's probably for the best if you cut ties with them if all they have you in their life for is to be a free pass for beer. Plus they're minors so being their go to for something like that can land you in hot water if they end up doing something stupid. And they could try to extort it out of you if you try to be their friend and stop supplying them. People just suck like that.

Drawdler said:
I’m on a server that’s generally cool but it’s really obvious a bunch of them don’t care about art. There was a stupid AI art debate and one of the people there admitted that they just see art as means to an end. They don’t care about the process, and they seem to have pretty superficial ideas but still said they were doing the work of conceptualising.

People say that handmade art will always be valued but it’s discouraging when the people who actually don’t are more vocal, currently more visible, etc. with the whole AI art thing. I hate it so much. It’s difficult enough to find people with whom I can discuss art and feelings and meaning in it down to brushstrokes, composition, appropriation of aesthetics or time periods and what all that means etc. Truly philosophical art seems to become more and more niche.
Click to expand...
That member sounds silly. Anyone can form an idea. That doesn't make someone an artist. Them saying they are doing the work by typing in prompts and having an idea just shows how AI art is devolving an already choked medium.


I like handmade stuff and wish I could love Etsy, but the entire place is just dropshippers. But they don't do anything because it makes them money. When they were only allowing handmade only of the purest quality Etsy was on its way to bankruptcy. People are also so spoiled by next day delivery methods made normal by Amazon that customers think handmade should be delivered the week they made the order.

If one is going to make a profit on something, say like handmade, it needs to be brought to a larger audiences attention. And that means advertising it to those that aren't passionate or understand it. So they'll want to pay what they think it's worth. Which is funny that they often want to pay independent services peanuts but don't bat an eye every time some corporation inflates stuff way over its original price.
 
I feel kinda hungry but it's hard to explain that if I say I don't want something, it's because I literally cannot eat that particular thing right now or else it'll make me feel sick.

I wasn't sure what I wanted, but it wasn't anything we have here. I got desperate and made tuna salad and toast and after only like 3 bites I had to stop bc now I feel bleh bc of it. if I had some money I would go get like a chicken sandwich or smth, that's about all I can handle atm 😔
 
The Bruce Springsteen concert is POSTPONED?!? Wahhhhhugghhh an hour and a half before doors open!! Disappointed doesn’t even BEGIN to cover it
 
-Blue- said:
That member sounds silly. Anyone can form an idea. That doesn't make someone an artist. Them saying they are doing the work by typing in prompts and having an idea just shows how AI art is devolving an already choked medium.


I like handmade stuff and wish I could love Etsy, but the entire place is just dropshippers. But they don't do anything because it makes them money. When they were only allowing handmade only of the purest quality Etsy was on its way to bankruptcy. People are also so spoiled by next day delivery methods made normal by Amazon that customers think handmade should be delivered the week they made the order.

If one is going to make a profit on something, say like handmade, it needs to be brought to a larger audiences attention. And that means advertising it to those that aren't passionate or understand it. So they'll want to pay what they think it's worth. Which is funny that they often want to pay independent services peanuts but don't bat an eye every time some corporation inflates stuff way over its original price.
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Well I’m kinda fixated on art lately… huh. But honestly, I agree with you 100% and I checked back and saw another pretty silly message from them. They were talking about female designs earlier and I said a lot of designers were just lazy with them until recently (which I believe) and he was like “lmao male designs can be more diverse because of bodytypes, its not sexism”. Like bruh. First of all, nobody else was talking about sexism, just character designs. Not all girls have a thin waist. Or a chest in general. Or prominent curves. And making that base female character design… then sticking solely to base female character design is LAZY and generic because its literally just sticking to basic traits.

I think that a lot of female characters are only getting better designs in the last few years as people who give a crap about visual design are getting a little more creative power over it and people are becoming more socially aware so seeing a buff woman for example doesn’t face as much ire these days. Some people still hate it but I feel like even when I was a kid it would have been more ridiculed.

And to go back to your message though, I forgot about the rise of Etsy Redbubble etc. but true. That was already further devaluing this stuff. I was never really on that side of things so it slipped my mind and tbh generally I don’t care about “reposting art” and a lot of art community drama (not saying its invalid) but when it genuinely gets stolen reprinted etc 💔 And people barely speak about that. It’s unbelievable people are just ok with artists having their WORK stolen and it always goes back to this built-in conception that art is a talent instead of work/skill. Schools failed us on art. It hurts people who could get into art and it especially hurts artists, artists are generally disadvantaged by that from the start imo

And I think the corportation thing comes down to clout. Not like petty friend circle clout but rich people clout. The companies can get away with more because they have clout under them. If someone calls it out it the companies can just snuff them out and the companies think just play dirty etc. and that hurts everyone below them but its often good for them. Im sure you know.

to end off on I swear I’m this close to leaving that server which stinks, that guy has no idea what he’s talking about with art which gets annoying and rethinking it all it has going for it are the cool mods, and some cool users will rarely post in to post memes. I don’t really want to be friends or chat with most of them. I’m frustrated not knowing if this is me being avoidant, or if I should genuinely just leave because either way it isn’t worth my time for a silly bandicoot server
 
I'm being asked to help a colleague out because she isn't getting the job done. I don't mind at all, but the problem is that it's super awkward. I essentially need to do her job for her. So when she asks why I'm doing the work, I don't want to tell her it's because they want me to step in since it isn't getting done. I just have to act clueless. But it's super awkward.
 
-Blue- said:
-snip-
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Yes, I have absolutely nothing in common with them and it’s been only me supplying them with alcohol. Clearly they’ve never had my best interest in mind and I was gullible to think there was a friendship there. I don’t think there was.

Thank you for replying!
 
so this girl who used to bully me in middle school is requesting to follow me on instagram. well.. idk how to put it, she usually was nice to me alone and we’d talk sometimes but with her friends she was mean. i also kind of overshared one time about how i may have had a learning disability and she told all that to her friend.

i feel like im being petty, a part of me wants to decline her request but another part of me says that middle school was a very strange time, and she may have changed.

my art account on instagram is public (unlike my private personal account which she is requesting to follow.) so if she really had beef w me she could just go on there but idk im kind of paranoid she’s going to share my personal account with her friends.

also my personal ig is full of cringe LMAO, kind of don’t want her to see that
 
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It’s probably stupid being upset about this now, but my dog Molly passed away a year ago today. I had her for ten years. My biggest regret is not saying goodbye to her. I had no idea she was going to be put down, and I didn’t say anything because I refused to believe she was dying. It doesn’t help that there are flowers popping up that are pink and yellow, the two colors I associated with her.
 
Tomorrow an art club has an open day. I just don’t want to go. Just two weeks ago I would have had great questions.

My emotional baggage is killing me. It got my hobbies, it got my happiness And all my optimism

i hate seeing myself like this but i hate trying to fix it for no returns
 
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