What's Bothering You?

I've already done so much this morning and I still have more things I need to do but I feel so tired and lethargic, kinda just want to go back to bed. also I feel simultaneously hot and cold and I hate it.
 
I don’t even feel like anger anymore and I’m past obsessive self-loathing. Every day I’m just depressed. The ideas of things get my hopes up sometimes but actually doing anything, almost everything is boring. The things that aren’t are fleeting or hobbies I can’t just do 24/7 like ACNH. I’m also bored of people in general. I have a group of friends or like a private server so to speak and I feel like I’ve seen everything there. I bring up stuff people say is cool and they make the same jokes and don’t say much even though they seem genuinely interested in what I say, it’s like they don’t have a response or something of their own to share. Whenever I join new places they very rarely feel like anything new or actually nice (this place is actually nice, bless ye old forum format, I’ve missed that but so far this is a nice place regardless). All of this also affects my partner and we have our own disagreements and issues.
 
Ever since the internet went out the other day I can’t get my home camera to connect to my router. It keeps saying connection failed. I really want to be able to keep an eye on my dog while no one is home.
 
I had a really strange dream involving me and someone else on this forum.
 
I bought a Wii online that supposed arrived today. Still nothing… :/
 
My parents are talking really loudly, I can still hear them even with my headphones. I'm not gonna put the volume all the way up to drown them out, I don't think it'll work very well anyways.

I'm also trying to find information online about an unused Tomodachi Life song (the Japanese-exlusive Enka song amenokuinabashi), but the sites look . . . Sketchy? I dunno, I don't think it would be a good idea to click on those links.
 
I only completed one match today on my football game. It’s either someone rage quits or is kicked for excessive grieving (stalling the game). Wow.

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Can't get my Steam Deck to play Steam games with an external drive but can do emulation stuff with it.
Unfortunately mine is the 64GB so... not enough internal space to just ignore the problem. And I am not sure if it a me problem or a Steam problem.
 
god I’m really sorry about that xara. :(( I’ve been in a very similar position with my own mother and I know how hurtful it feels to be told to stop thinking about it. hugs. 🫂



Sometimes I think about that 7/10 I got on a REFLECTION PAPER. It’s a reflection paper? It‘s obviously my thoughts and opinions? And it’s not like I said anything disciminatory. I gave a thorough rundown on my opinions and hit the max pages. I don’t know how I could’ve made myself any more clearer. I honestly would‘ve been fine with a 9 or maybe an 8, but a 7? What the hell. I got even lower on this reflection paper than the case papers I worked on lmao. 🫥
 
PoGo changing so the location of a gift shows in English rather than its original language, poo.
 
Sometimes I wish I could delete some of my own threads from many years back, lol.
this or just some posts, lol :/

also, cultural appropriation *rolling eyes to infinity and beyond* like so you can't dance eg. lindy hop without being accused... lol.
 
Hahaha. Help me. I just saw a news headline saying that Australian homes are colder than the recommended safe temparature.

I’m pretty sure mine falls to 8 degrees celcius indoors, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was even colder this year. I used to check it. It should be around 18 degrees celcius. Ideally. And I’ve NEVER seen it at that temparature in winter when I checked.

The new houses don’t have better insulation.

And I found the name of some condition I’ve had- I thought it was cellulitis. It’s called chillblain (or pernio).

So guess what? Then if I put heating on it dries me up real easily, I can never get enough moisture to handle that. My skin gets flaky to the point it hurt, and once that crusted up around my eyes so even blinking hurt. And if I stay in a heated blanket it’s by far my best option but gets very sweaty very fast. Can’t put gloves on all the time for my pernio because my hands get sweaty as hell.

Living in this country is a miserable experience in a lot of ways; I think this is depressingly prominent in other countries too, but people here are woefully complacent with these issues that could be solved. Insulation is a chicken and egg thing, it’s not common enough to be made more affordable, but nobody is inserting it because it’s not cheap enough.
 
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me, finally mustering up the courage to tell my mother that her abandoning me when i was at my lowest hurt me beyond repair and that i think about it often:
her: don’t think about it. you bringing up my past is not helpful.

i am so ****ing angry.
I’m so sorry your going through so much. I had the same reaction from my dad after he abandoned me and I still tried to have a relationship with him. He wouldn’t talk about all the bad things that had happened between us then it got worse. Now that relationship can’t be repaired. It hurts when your parent won’t help you through things. It’s not about bringing up their past it’s about you trying to heal from yours.
 
I am so sorry xara, the same thing happened between me and my brother. It's so sad when you try to repair a relationship with a family member and they just don't do their part. I guess I can understand a sibling in my case (seeing that we hate each other), but hearing that from your own parent must be awful. Again, I am so sorry.
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My step-mom keeps getting mad at me because I forget a lot of things, even though she's aware of my memory problem. Then she has the audacity to tell me: "You forget everything, I think you have a problem in your brain. But you don't have a memory problem, you're just ****ing lazy." Honestly, how dare she dismiss an actual problem I have and accuse me of being lazy.

On a less serious note, I'm already having a bad day because everyone and everything is pissing me off, especially my family. Looks like I'm locking myself in my room to avoid them again.
 
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