What's Bothering You?

Being poor in a filthy ass rich school.

I mean, I did sign up for this LMAO. Still, though. Overhearing things like "Yooo dude, I definitely want to hit up UCLA" and being told "Why don't you just buy a car?"

...*****. I may have to take on another student worker job to pay off this semester bill. And I already have two.
 
Burnout is real. Wake up, go to school, go home, repeat. It's an endless cycle and it's breaking me :D

I feel you. Only for me it's wake up, drive for an hour, get to work, drive for another hour, get home, go to bed, repeat.

I could do with a fresh job that isn't so dang far away. Not many options right now though. 😣
 
I really hate my parents how they just treat me more like a tool than anything. Today my mom forced me to drive her to Wal-Mart because apparently my dad left her behind. So I went there to drop her off and I had to drive back on my own. I didn't have a proper driver's license but a learners permit. I was very upset and my dad doesn't seem to care and just told me to "shut my mouth" ugh, this is really the straw that broke the camels back. I really am fed up of being treated like this.
 
I hang out a lot with this one guy at my school, and we were sitting in the corner in the library at lunch looking at these dumb Instagram posts, and apparently when some other high schoolers walked in they thought we were making out, so now theres a rumor we were making out and im afraid we'll get in trouble, since the school has a really strict PDA policy. Im pretty worried about this at the moment since its a small school and i dont want everyone to think i was making out at school.
 
I hang out a lot with this one guy at my school, and we were sitting in the corner in the library at lunch looking at these dumb Instagram posts, and apparently when some other high schoolers walked in they thought we were making out, so now theres a rumor we were making out and im afraid we'll get in trouble, since the school has a really strict PDA policy. Im pretty worried about this at the moment since its a small school and i dont want everyone to think i was making out at school.
Rumors spread, unfortunately. They can’t punish you without proof though. If they do, that’s screwed up. Rumors are just rumors.
 
British Columbia has been dealing with some serious flooding. My parents basement flooded and every room down there was effected. Luckily I managed to save several photo albums cause they were all ontop of furniture. The whole basement is carpet though so you can imagine the clean up is dreadful.
 
I'm going through a lot of anxiety and depression right now. I wish I didn't have to be at work so I can mentally deal with it. It's been really hard...
 
Coming here has been painful since my cat died. I am doing better in some ways but still am depressed about something that happened when my cat was dying.
 
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Rumors spread, unfortunately. They can’t punish you without proof though. If they do, that’s screwed up. Rumors are just rumors.
thanks, the people who thought that have since apologized and i dont think the teachers really care anymore, so im ok now
 
my cavities are really bothering me rn, idk why cause they havent bothered me in a long time.

I've also been having mild pain in my left hip for like 3-4 days, whenever I walk. I'm not worried about it right now but if it doesn't stop soon I will be.

also also worrying about getting back to work, I'm so afraid of my mental health getting bad again 😔
and I keep having waves of emotions, like one moment im super excited about this job opportunity and I imagine having fun there, and then the next moment I'm terrified and just want to curl up and hide in my bed. idk what to do. I'm still gonna apply and hope they call me for an interview but my anxiety is ridiculous.
 
Warning: yet another vent about my abysmal social life
I hate how cynical I’ve become. Getting ghosted and/or blocked by so many people has really done a lot to my psyche. I don’t even get that upset by the jerks from high school who still stalk me anymore. It’s just the friends and ex that just threw me away like I was nothing. Aside from a few people I feel like I’m always at risk of being cut off.

The people who ghosted me never gave any warnings, so I rarely even know if it was something I did. Of course that’s kind of a risk of being friends with a nuerotypical. You’re expected to read people’s minds when they make one off comments like “you’re less charming over the phone.” In those situations I don’t realize the connotations until later.

I wonder if that’s why my longer lasting friendships tend to be with other autistic people. We don’t expect each other to read our minds or make unnecessary drama. We simply say what we mean and are upfront.
 
I would like to not be awake right now, thank you 🙃 I love mornings but waking up at 5 and not being able to fall back asleep is a bummer!!! Been trying to sleep for the past hour and it's not working
 
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