What's Bothering You?

[Dunquixote]

No matter what happens, you provided an amazing life for her and that's all you can do for your pet! She's lucky to have you as an owner Dun. I hope you guys still have a few months together.

Thanks so much, Oak! I appreciate it so much. You’re right, though I can’t help but think I failed her and that I didn’t give her enough love. :/

 

[Xara]

snip

oh dun, i am so so sorry. i know there’s nothing i can say or do that can make this better, but you both are in my thoughts always, and my pms are always open if you ever need me.

your feelings of thinking that you didn’t do enough for her are valid, and i know how awful those feelings are as i feel the same way with my kitty. but they’re just feelings, and not fact at all — you’ve loved her with all that you can, and you continue to love her, and you’ve done the best you can for her. i mean, the fact that she’s made it to 19 years old is proof that you’re an incredible owner. she really is very lucky to have you.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

it's not even 7pm yet and I'm already so tired

also I know I should eat cause I don't like to eat after about 8pm but I'm not really hungry at all. I know if I don't eat soon however I prob will be hungry by the time I go to bed

 

[jiny]

today is one of the few days i have off of work and i wanted to spend it by going to the homecoming fb game and my parents keep making excuses not to take me :/ now they said they’ll take me whenever they get home and now they’re home and they’re taking their sweet time. i hate how everytime i wanna go out w friends they conveniently find ways not to take me they complain that i “use” them to take me places but like i literally can’t drive..???

 

[Dunquixote]

oh dun, i am so so sorry. i know there’s nothing i can say or do that can make this better, but you both are in my thoughts always, and my pms are always open if you ever need me.

your feelings of thinking that you didn’t do enough for her are valid, and i know how awful those feelings are as i feel the same way with my kitty. but they’re just feelings, and not fact at all — you’ve loved her with all that you can, and you continue to love her, and you’ve done the best you can for her. i mean, the fact that she’s made it to 19 years old is proof that you’re an incredible owner. she really is very lucky to have you.

thanks so much xara . I hope your kitty can be helped and hoping you’re doing okay too. Thanks for reaching out to me; I know you are sad and hurting too so you didn’t need to . I’m here for you as well ; you and your kitty are still in my thoughts . you’re right; i can’t help but think she deserved better than what I have given her. :/

 

[xSuperMario64x]

I feel incredibly nauseated right now

 

[moonbyu]

this constant feeling of dread and doom cannot be healthy for me lmao

 

[Sin]

the realization i have to dig up all these flowers to landscape my island... not happy

 

[Neb]

Spoiler: Yet another wall of text about my inability to socialize online

I wish more people understood what abrupt blocking can do to someone's mind. It's the digital equivalent of having a door slammed in your face. You question your self worth, you ruminate on how you conversed with the person, and you question why they would something so harsh. Every time it happens my mental health absolutely tanks. I become an insecure, cynical, and deeply depressed person.

My moms think it happens because I put too much trust in people online. Honestly, they're not wrong. I share way too much personal information with people I want to be friends with. I also tend to ask too many questions in order to continue conversations. In the past I thought this was okay. The people I met back then were (and still are) great friends despite my struggles to communicate. Ever since the first block in March I have changed. I impulsively text people, especially when I'm first getting to know them. I wouldn't be surprised if some of the blocks were for that reason alone.

The mental and physical effects are insufferable. My antipsychotics and antidepressants are only able to do so much. It takes hours to fall asleep because my heart keeps thumping through my chest. Just moving makes me nauseated. I'm constantly exhausted from ruminating on it. Sometimes I'll become paranoid that one of them will make false accusations about me.
What I've gone through these past five years has been traumatizing. Being thrown away time and time again wears on you. I wish I could go back to the days when I could open up to people online and not be at a constant risk of losing all contact.

 

[Midoriya]

- snip -

Hey there, Benjamin. I just wanted to say I’ve been through the same things you’re going through right now (maybe not in the relationship sense, but definitely in the getting blocked sense), and it would be a shame if I didn’t try to respond to you about it at all. I feel like I’d be doing a disservice to both you and myself.

I’ve been blocked by people on Discord from various places online in the past, and each time it kind of hit me hard and made me reconsider how I converse with people and also made me think about what I did wrong. After it happened enough times, however, and I saw that some people chose to remain friends with me (and still are), I realized that the saying “those who mind don’t matter, and those who don’t mind do matter” is really true. Now I have a comfortable set of people I talk to both online and in real life, and I wouldn’t trade any of them for anyone else.

I’m a bit hyperactive in how much I talk, so I feel like people have to put up with me in that sense a lot. But see, that’s why those are the kinds of friends you want to keep, you know? The people who stick with you no matter what as long as you treat them kindly, and don’t give up on you. THOSE are the kinds of people that you want in your corner. Anyone else who isn’t willing to do that frankly isn’t worth your time. That’s how you separate true friends from fake friends, and I’m going to tell you right now, I will NEVER turn my back on a true friend or give up on them. Because as Naruto says, “in the world, those who break the rules are scum, but those who abandon their friends are worse than scum.”

Sorry if I rambled on a lot. I’m not sure if that even helped. I just wanted to close by saying that I’m sorry you’re going through this, I truly am, and I can relate to it a lot. Just know that you’ll always have a friend in me, no matter what.

 

[Dunquixote]

Sorry Neb you’re struggling and thanks for messaging me! Sending you good vibes ; can chat a little about it if you want, just may not be very helpful.

Spoiler

depressed

 

[a potato]

I’m nervous to ask permission for something even though I really shouldn’t have to.

 

[Millysaurusrexjr]

Allergies have been a bit rough.

Also I've been posting my inktober/drawlloween challenges to my personal facebook each day for my dumb family to see, and last night I posted my Brewster painting. One of my grandparents commented on it saying "Less video games and more painting!" Another relative 'liked' the comment. And idk, it just rubbed me the wrong way.. Like what do you think I've been doing the past 14 days? I've been hyper-focusing on this challenge and have done very little gaming at all the past two weeks. Most of the art I've been making has been non-fanart stuff. And it's not like I'm posting non-stop about gaming stuff on facebook; I literally never post on facebook these days save for the drawing challenge stuff. So excuse me for wanting to paint a coffee birb and spending hours working on it only for you to take one second to look at it and then tell me to spend less time playing video games

So rude.

 

[Reginald Fairfield]

Smosh.

 

[Alienfish]

I keep reading "spaced out" as "space donut" lol

also, tired.

 

[Croconaw]

Spoiler: sick kitty

my gray kitty was brought to the vet and she has anywhere from 2 weeks to 6 months to live. she had double kidney failure . my poor baby. i am so sad. I don’t want to lose her. no infection this time and her heart is fine; she did lose some weight though

Sorry about your kitty! I wasn’t online at all yesterday so I must have missed this. My very first dog (a beagle) actually died of what I believed to be cancer. I was really young at the time and my dog didn’t get the medical treatment, but she did have a tumor on her tail. She only lived about 7 years which is very short for a lifespan of a beagle, I imagine you’re hurting and I’m sorry you’re going through this. Enjoy as much of your time with her as you can. Animals are wonderful being.

 

[ForeverALoan]

My stupid chest pains havent gotten any better. Every day theres always a mildly intense one. Nothing like the life-threatening one where I should have gone to the ER but they ****ing hurt so bad. I need my cardiologist appointment to come sooner please I need them to fix me before something more serious happens.. Again..

 

[_Rainy_]

I got bit pretty hard because I wouldn’t share my applesauce with Sora. I’ve never shared my applesauce with her idk why she assumes she can have it. Also I had a hard time waking up today, I don’t think I slept well at all last night.

 

[Stella-Io]

I just want this day to be over with uuuuuuaaaagh. Work sucked today and I had to wait an hour before I could even get home. It's almost 5 o'clock and I'm just now able to relax.

I have like no mental energy to make myself be productive. I just to eat a tasty dinner (which I doubt will happen today), eat some cookie cake I got (which I atleast have that to look forward to) and take a 12 hour nap.

I am very happy about what we got in the Direct today but I am just kinda tired today. I'm also hungry, I barely had lunch and I think I need some sugar my hands are shaking a bit and my legs feel weak.

 

[Dunquixote]

snip

thanks so much . i’m so sorry about your first dog ; sorry seriously isn’t enough :/. That breaks my heart hearing that . i definitely will try to enjoy the time i have left with her.

Spoiler: personal

Extremely depressed.

I just watched the nintendo direct for AC and I liked what i saw but my heart still feels heavy. Also, extreme anxiety about the scalpers and the amiibo cards. Also hate not having money or a job. Been unemployed for more than three years I think and no one still wants to hire me :/. Also so scared about so much including leaving the house. I’m trying not to give up hope things are ever going to be better and that I won’t be dependent on my family but it is so tough…

my mom wants me to start working on my christmas list soon but again, just can’t think about it. christmas depressed me since i can’t get anyone gifts myself :/.

still need to get frames for my prints but again i put it off because just can’t think of anything but my cat right now.

Haven’t been able to draw since I drew for Goomy’s contest and haven’t been able to play any games for quite some time aside from my gacha games. I want to be excited and play ac when the update comes (preferably before so i can get the new halloween recipes), but i just have no energy/motivation still and now depression :/. No need to reply. not posting for pity. just need to clear my head and mood somehow.