What's Bothering You?
- Thread starter Oblivia
- Start date
@Drawdler I don't know the whole context, but I'm just going to be blunt. If you both are getting so heated over something as small as a video game and not something closely resembling a more relationship issue, I'd say this wasn't meant to be until there is more emotional maturity. It's probably not something you'd like to hear, but it needs to be said.
You can't change people. You should focus on yourself and finding ways to better yourself in your own way so that you can bring about your own happiness. A relationship is a lot of work. It's not something where you enter it and hope that your partner can create happiness. It's where they can help make you happier.
You can't change people. You should focus on yourself and finding ways to better yourself in your own way so that you can bring about your own happiness. A relationship is a lot of work. It's not something where you enter it and hope that your partner can create happiness. It's where they can help make you happier.
ali.di.magix
🌟💫🌟💫
I hate when people at work promise they'll do stuff for you then suddenly something changes everything. Don't make a promise in the first place if you can't commit to it 
@TheDuke55 I agree and thanks for your response. I’ve hardly spoke to people about the problems in this relationship so alas I feel pretty alone on solving it but I guess that’s how it goes.
Yes yes other people shouldn’t solve all my problems for me… it’s just I’ve always felt like I’m fighting for myself because even my parents push their problems on me without giving a damn for what I actually say. This relationship is another reflection of that… My partner is just there, we don’t really conversate or solve things or share ideas as I would like… It’s gone on long enough that I forget what I want for a moment sometimes and I just don’t know what to tell them anymore. I don’t want to act like the high and mighty one but I am more emotionally mature than my partner and this is their first relationship. It’s just truth.
I thought I was pretty emotionally mature when it started and in the last couple of weeks I tried having serious conversations with my partner. I can’t remember how I got to this point in the conversation but that’s irrelevant, I asked if they thought their problems would go away if they had a relationship, and my partner said yes to me. Stuff about how they thought if they had someone, they’d be happy and things would be simpler.
In our group I’d openly shared a lot about myself and my view on relationships… I thought if someone asked me for a relationship they’d have known that. I thought that would be a basic idea. I said over and over relationships aren’t a silver bullet to problems, just sharing thoughta about relationships in early random conversations. Lesson learned. But it sucks because now I feel even more reclusive, untrusting, and doubtful of people, when someone who loves me still looked over the things I was actually saying. I know I’m not stupid but it’s felt that way because I didn’t see my partner was like this sooner… I gave them the benefit of the doubt and trusted them because I thought this would be common sense and they’re a good person despite being an ill-fitting partner.
More or less, that isn’t really news to me, but it helps me feel a little less crazy so thanks… This seems one of the worse kind of breakups where neither of us is really in the wrong.
Every other one ended with manipulation or blackmail, this time we’re just different people. At least I could write those guys off for being awful to me. But I want to stay friends with my current partner which is more complicated /:
Edit: if this conversation continues I guess it would be better in PMs, so I’ll leave it at that but, either way this relationship is definitely bothering me so I’ll likely post about it again soon /:
Edit 2: if I can’t be friends with my partner in the future this would also separate me from my only real friend group and I’d be alone grieving over it and the end of it. I’m not good at making friends and unfortunately I also seem to attract people who use me to dump their rants or problems, or people who manipulate me, unless I just stay a recluse. So, I really don’t want to lose that friend group, at least I don’t think they would choose sides between us.
Yes yes other people shouldn’t solve all my problems for me… it’s just I’ve always felt like I’m fighting for myself because even my parents push their problems on me without giving a damn for what I actually say. This relationship is another reflection of that… My partner is just there, we don’t really conversate or solve things or share ideas as I would like… It’s gone on long enough that I forget what I want for a moment sometimes and I just don’t know what to tell them anymore. I don’t want to act like the high and mighty one but I am more emotionally mature than my partner and this is their first relationship. It’s just truth.
I thought I was pretty emotionally mature when it started and in the last couple of weeks I tried having serious conversations with my partner. I can’t remember how I got to this point in the conversation but that’s irrelevant, I asked if they thought their problems would go away if they had a relationship, and my partner said yes to me. Stuff about how they thought if they had someone, they’d be happy and things would be simpler.
In our group I’d openly shared a lot about myself and my view on relationships… I thought if someone asked me for a relationship they’d have known that. I thought that would be a basic idea. I said over and over relationships aren’t a silver bullet to problems, just sharing thoughta about relationships in early random conversations. Lesson learned. But it sucks because now I feel even more reclusive, untrusting, and doubtful of people, when someone who loves me still looked over the things I was actually saying. I know I’m not stupid but it’s felt that way because I didn’t see my partner was like this sooner… I gave them the benefit of the doubt and trusted them because I thought this would be common sense and they’re a good person despite being an ill-fitting partner.
More or less, that isn’t really news to me, but it helps me feel a little less crazy so thanks… This seems one of the worse kind of breakups where neither of us is really in the wrong.
Every other one ended with manipulation or blackmail, this time we’re just different people. At least I could write those guys off for being awful to me. But I want to stay friends with my current partner which is more complicated /:
Edit: if this conversation continues I guess it would be better in PMs, so I’ll leave it at that but, either way this relationship is definitely bothering me so I’ll likely post about it again soon /:
Edit 2: if I can’t be friends with my partner in the future this would also separate me from my only real friend group and I’d be alone grieving over it and the end of it. I’m not good at making friends and unfortunately I also seem to attract people who use me to dump their rants or problems, or people who manipulate me, unless I just stay a recluse. So, I really don’t want to lose that friend group, at least I don’t think they would choose sides between us.
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ethnicbraat
Senior Member
Sometimes yk i feel as if my bf prefers to not hang out with me anymore because of me I feel like I put to much pressure on him and I feel so bad
One of my fave roll/turtle neck shirts shrunk in the washing machine AND there was a hole in the armpit I didn't see when I bought it (second hand for sure but as long as the armpits are not hole-y it's usually good quality).
daringred_
✧ ghost lesbian ✧
pretty sure i'm really sick because of inhaling paint fumes from our newly done bathroom for a few days. not sure it explains the occasional stomach/abdominal pain though. (it's not menstrual, for the record.)
I posted this before. I saw this person again, and she gave me the look of disappointment. Afterwards, she messaged me saying that she only told me (which isn’t true clearly) and that she doesn’t feel comfortable exposing to anyone what her plans are. She’s trying to play victim here and it seems like her entire life is just drama. I don’t know if I should cut off this friendship or what.
Mr_Keroppi
Senior Member
Not throwing shade
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ali.di.magix
🌟💫🌟💫
Jeez, had 2 days off work and it's been chaotic since I was gone lol. Like 3 service strikes, no staff, now there's a heavy rain warning....hhhhh
Also why are my salmon run teams so useless
Also why are my salmon run teams so useless
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