What's Bothering You?
- Thread starter Oblivia
- Start date
ZeldaCrossing64
Sugary Cynic
I reached out to my online friend and told her about my situation with my brother. She wrote a sort of 'letter' to my brother (she wanted me to show it to him) but made the mistake of putting it in her activity. Now everyone who reads it knows about my abusive brother. :|
I’m just unsure of who I am at this point. I feel that my interests are a bit obscure and it’s hard to meet people with common ground. First, I like sports video games. However, I can’t really be open about it because I’ve gotten messages on XBOX saying that I should go back to the kitchen or freak out over the fact that I’m a girl. I’m truly happy playing those games and being into sports, but I’m not really being myself either? I’m sort of hiding the fact that I’m a girl.
I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about what it’d be like if I were a guy. If given the choice to switch, I don’t know, I’d probably do it. I’m also into traveling which I’m more open about. I have friends, but I’m unsure if we are actually friends? I know making friends at work is the last thing someone should do, but my life outside of work is kind of lame. What else do I do? I play video games and hide behind the opposite gender. I spend time with my dog. I’m interested in traveling. I feel that if I had different interests or if I was someone else, I’d have much better luck. I am treated like the third wheel mostly.
And another slightly related rant:
I really dislike my one manager. I can’t come to the conclusion why. Is it because he’s ****ing obsessed with my favorite person (BPD issue) and I’m jealous? Is it because I feel like the third wheel when his two other coworker friends are there and I’m just in the ****ing background because we don’t share the same interest? Or is it because he barely ****ing works? He’s either tailing my favorite person and following her around like a puppy dog, or just sitting in the dining room talking to these random customers that are obsessed with him for whatever reason. I’m sick of hearing how great he is and how loved he is by these people.
Like, should I pretend to be into certain things when I’m really not that type of person just to have closer bonds with people? I do have a group of friends, but idk, they are conceited and goof off a lot. Their lack of work ethic pisses me off. My group of friends is like the popular group in a high school clique, basically. For some reason, they like me? But it might be because I’m of age. Am I falling for their bull**** and I won’t talk to them after moving permanently? I feel like the only person I actually trust is my favorite person. I’m honestly surprised she isn’t sick of me yet. She’s loyal as hell and I’m unsure I deserve it, but she’s still here. She’s still here.
I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about what it’d be like if I were a guy. If given the choice to switch, I don’t know, I’d probably do it. I’m also into traveling which I’m more open about. I have friends, but I’m unsure if we are actually friends? I know making friends at work is the last thing someone should do, but my life outside of work is kind of lame. What else do I do? I play video games and hide behind the opposite gender. I spend time with my dog. I’m interested in traveling. I feel that if I had different interests or if I was someone else, I’d have much better luck. I am treated like the third wheel mostly.
And another slightly related rant:
I really dislike my one manager. I can’t come to the conclusion why. Is it because he’s ****ing obsessed with my favorite person (BPD issue) and I’m jealous? Is it because I feel like the third wheel when his two other coworker friends are there and I’m just in the ****ing background because we don’t share the same interest? Or is it because he barely ****ing works? He’s either tailing my favorite person and following her around like a puppy dog, or just sitting in the dining room talking to these random customers that are obsessed with him for whatever reason. I’m sick of hearing how great he is and how loved he is by these people.
Like, should I pretend to be into certain things when I’m really not that type of person just to have closer bonds with people? I do have a group of friends, but idk, they are conceited and goof off a lot. Their lack of work ethic pisses me off. My group of friends is like the popular group in a high school clique, basically. For some reason, they like me? But it might be because I’m of age. Am I falling for their bull**** and I won’t talk to them after moving permanently? I feel like the only person I actually trust is my favorite person. I’m honestly surprised she isn’t sick of me yet. She’s loyal as hell and I’m unsure I deserve it, but she’s still here. She’s still here.
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ZeldaCrossing64
Sugary Cynic
I feel like I'm destined to not have friends, if that makes sense. I can never keep a friendship for more than two years, at most. I feel like the first few months are fanatastic and everything's perfect, but after that we get tired of each other's company (seeing that I spend time with my friends a lot, usually every day), which marks the end of our friendship.
If I'm being honest, I'm not sure I like having friends. Don't get me wrong - I do like my current friends, but I much prefer spending my time alone. (Go figure, I'm introverted and anti-social.) Sometimes I just don't have the energy to talk to my friends, or I just don't feel like it. It's like I don't even do my part to keep the friendship going when I definitely should be doing so.
There's also the fact that my interests are kind of different, so finding people who like the same things I do is kind of difficult. This is not always the case though, since I have friends who don't even like The Legend of Zelda (or know what it is). Sharing the same hobbies is not a requirement when I make friends, but it is preferred - After all, I need to talk about my Wii Sports accomplishment.
Sometimes I wonder why people like me in the first place. I have terrible traits - Cold, introverted, sarcastic, brutally honest, anti-social, and much more that I can't think of at the top of my head. What do my friends see in me that's good? I get told that I'm smart, logical, loyal, and a good listener. I suppose they're right, but I feel my negative traits out-weight my positive ones.
This doesn't even feel like a vent or a rant anymore, I'm just rambling at this point. Erm, well . . . Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.
TL;DR - I'm an anti-social hermit who prefers video games over social interaction.
If I'm being honest, I'm not sure I like having friends. Don't get me wrong - I do like my current friends, but I much prefer spending my time alone. (Go figure, I'm introverted and anti-social.) Sometimes I just don't have the energy to talk to my friends, or I just don't feel like it. It's like I don't even do my part to keep the friendship going when I definitely should be doing so.
There's also the fact that my interests are kind of different, so finding people who like the same things I do is kind of difficult. This is not always the case though, since I have friends who don't even like The Legend of Zelda (or know what it is). Sharing the same hobbies is not a requirement when I make friends, but it is preferred - After all, I need to talk about my Wii Sports accomplishment.
Sometimes I wonder why people like me in the first place. I have terrible traits - Cold, introverted, sarcastic, brutally honest, anti-social, and much more that I can't think of at the top of my head. What do my friends see in me that's good? I get told that I'm smart, logical, loyal, and a good listener. I suppose they're right, but I feel my negative traits out-weight my positive ones.
This doesn't even feel like a vent or a rant anymore, I'm just rambling at this point. Erm, well . . . Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.
TL;DR - I'm an anti-social hermit who prefers video games over social interaction.
i can’t stand work anymore, i’m miserable everyday i’m there and it’s solely because of the people i work with in the morning shift. i wanna switch back to the shift i was in during school but i hate getting out of work at basically 12 am, and i’m happy that with this shift i get out at 5 pm and have the rest of the day to myself but the coworkers are just so hard to work with. they boss me around alot, treat me like i have no idea what i am doing when i’ve worked there for 6 or 7 months already, and i swear i’ve heard them talk bad about me when they think i can’t hear. rn i’m on a 2 week break bc i’m supposed to be out of town but my dad got covid so i’m just at home :/ but i’m so tempted to just not come back to work. either i switch to my old 5-11 shift, or i quit 
tbh i might just ask for some days 11-5, and some days 5-11.. but my general manager is such a b-word it’s kinda hard to ask her for a schedule change without her giving me attitude
tbh i might just ask for some days 11-5, and some days 5-11.. but my general manager is such a b-word it’s kinda hard to ask her for a schedule change without her giving me attitude
xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
I hate feeling like anytime I reach out to my friends that I'm being annoying and clingy
also really want to tell this person I like him but I don't want him to feel awkward or anything, ive just really enjoyed talking w him and I would love to get to know him better >~<
also really want to tell this person I like him but I don't want him to feel awkward or anything, ive just really enjoyed talking w him and I would love to get to know him better >~<
ZeldaCrossing64
Sugary Cynic
I want to live life normally without the fear of my brother hurting me again.
Shellzilla_515
Senior Member
Oh no, xara. I'm so sorry to hear that.
It's frustrating to hear your parents not even caring about what you're feeling and even trying to compete during the times of your grief. I don't think words can describe how gutted you are right now. I'll be more than happy to talk to you if you need it, so feel free to pm me. At the same time, if you rather spend time away online to recover, I respect your decision. All I wish for you is to be well again, xara. You deserve to be treated better with all the stuff you're going through. *Gives you a huge hug*
xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
the only time I wake up not tired is when I wake up around 8-9am but every day I wake up at 6am and I still feel really tired and I usually end up going back to sleep. like bruh why can't my body just let me sleep til 9 without waking up in between lol
xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
I feel like I've been neglecting my dog the last few weeks bc I've been through a lot and I don't have the energy to give him the attention he needs. I feel like a bad dog mom 
(if you're wondering, no I'm not actually neglecting him. he gets fed and always has adequate water and goes out when he needs to. I just feel like I used to give him more attention and lately I haven't been doing that.)
(if you're wondering, no I'm not actually neglecting him. he gets fed and always has adequate water and goes out when he needs to. I just feel like I used to give him more attention and lately I haven't been doing that.)
(if you don't want to be quoted in the future just let me know)
But just wanted to say I'm very very sorry to read this, I read your earlier posts as well and your family should never have made this behind your back. That's a horrible experience and very sad she can't even make it to her 1st birthday.. Ugh *sends you hugs and prayers*.
Violet Witch
☽Stay Wild Moon Child☾
This hot weather. It just makes me anxious, tired and overall grumpy from the constant lack of sleep.
ZeldaCrossing64
Sugary Cynic
I kind of feel bad for my brother. Sure, he's a total A-hole to me and makes me feel miserable, but his life isn't perfect. He's literally getting an operation to have his big toe removed because it has a raging infection on it.
I actually wanna give him a hug and tell him that I love him, but . . . I dunno, it wouldn't feel genuine. Our friendship has been very rocky lately and I don't know how he'll react.
I actually wanna give him a hug and tell him that I love him, but . . . I dunno, it wouldn't feel genuine. Our friendship has been very rocky lately and I don't know how he'll react.
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