What's Bothering You?

Parents be bickering every day w/ each other about trivial things and it is creating a stressful atmosphere 😑 not a clue if this is an everyday thing for other people or not...?
dealt with that when i was younger, it isnt fun
 
Oh dang are you alright??
hope you get better soon, seems like you've been having a horrible go of it recently
whoa ;; hope youre gonna be alright man
hope you get better soon;; 💗
I'm hoping you'll get better soon. That's sounds scary.

i’m home now and should be okay but things do be kinda scary sometimes aha,, ty guys for checking in, though💗💗
 
The thoughts that I really don't want are coming back 👌 Only when I'm actively listening to music or reading or watching something do they leave me alone, which I only realized a little bit ago when I was doing the dishes in the quiet and I had nothing to keep my mind distracted. If I realized this sooner then maybe I could've solved some of my problems easier.
 
theres something thats been on my mind for a while, and idk if its just the negative headspace ive been stuck in causing it to come to my attention or what, but ive noticed something. it really feels like most of my friends (online & irl) never really want to talk to me, and that im always the one that has to come to them and drive the conversation. ive known a lot of them for years now and at times it feels like they treat me like im a stranger, especially since this whole quarantine started, and i dont know why. its not like i treat them bad or anything either, i try to be there for them when theyre having a hard time but when it comes to me they rarely if ever say anything... its gotten to the point where i haven't even told my "close" friends about how stressful these past few weeks have been, because i just expect that they dont care anyway.

its pretty bad when the only place you can really vent to is a public forum.
 
Had some fun thoughts today and now I feel exhausted. I really need a new hobby or something because I apparently can't trust my mind to start wandering.
 
The thoughts that I really don't want are coming back 👌 Only when I'm actively listening to music or reading or watching something do they leave me alone, which I only realized a little bit ago when I was doing the dishes in the quiet and I had nothing to keep my mind distracted. If I realized this sooner then maybe I could've solved some of my problems easier.
Okay so that was a lie really thought I had a solution there. Dunno how to get rid of them otherwise.
 
I live with my grandmother, who isn't my biological grandmother. My niece (not her biological great niece) wants to come visit at the end of the month. I asked my grandmother who said "yes she can come" so I told my sister that it was okay. My grandmother waits until I'm off the phone with my sister, confirming the visit, to let me know that she is worried about my niece coming because of COVID, which is understandable. I told her, I can call my sister back and cancel and she said no. At that point, I was already upset because it was obvious my niece will not be welcome here, not by grandmother.

After a few hours, I asked my grandmother if my niece can sleep on the couch in the living room? My grandmother says 'no, she needs to be back in your room'.

The upsetting part is that back in May, her daughter showed up uninvited and stayed here for two days. My grandmother welcomed her with open arms and no worry of COVID. But when MY family members come for a visit (which they rarely do anyways) she's treating them like they have the plague. It's like, 'what the heck'?
 
How is tomorrow not Friday... This week is going by so slowly for me. I also scheduled a PTO day for next Friday but so far nothing. I just want to know if it gets approved this week so I can look forward to a shorter week next week.
 
was talking to someone about things that have been bothering me lately and they really took it as an opportunity to try to make an advance.. can i just.. have a normal conversation lol..
 
I slept 11hrs and feel awful. Sore head, throat, earache, and blocked nose. I've had no contact with other people and not been anywhere so I'm assuming it's just a particularly annoying bout of hayfever rather than actually getting sick. :sleep:
 
No, I'm not "afraid" of covid-19 but I don't want it to spread and I'm trying to keep a good distance to people I haven't seen since its outbreak. I don't care if you are my grandmother or a random truck driver on your way to work. Since it can also show without symptoms I'm not gonna be close to people randomly unless it's like co-worker that I see everyday or my mom that I live with.

Also lmfao @ pro-mask leaders/people, do you really think 100% of the population have like science lab/hospital routines when taking them on and off?
 
Parents be bickering every day w/ each other about trivial things and it is creating a stressful atmosphere 😑 not a clue if this is an everyday thing for other people or not...?
oh yeah, this is everyday life for me in my household, you're not the only one 🙃 when you're able to fully immerse yourself in some music, gaming or some other interest, you can make yourself oblivious to it though!
 
Also yeah masks can be good as a last resort if you are really not able to keep distance in narrow areas but yeah the way people don't use them right now I'm like you can as well take them off lol
 
I hate going on Facebook. Triggers a ton of stuff for me and if I do need to be doing something on there (work or studies-related) I just don't want to hang around my timeline. The same goes for Instagram; like you do you and flaunt your lifestyle but I really don't want to start comparing my simple life to your extravagant every day, it just makes me feel the worst about myself. Twitter, discord, and messenger are probably the only social media platforms I use.

That being said, I really do need to control my urges to compare myself to others. Honestly when I start not caring about comparisons I also start to appreciate my friend, family, and other blessings I have.

I also want to see my psychiatrist, I never got to go through with the appointment last March because of the pandemic
 
I walked out of my room to find hundreds of ants :(
an ant emoji just appeared on my phone screen when I typed this and startled me d: I hate ants
 
I'm actually paralyzed with stress/anxiety over the situation with bringing my dog to my dorm. I have no idea what I'm gonna do.

edit: just sent a message to the head of disability services, hopefully she can help me out.
 
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