What's Bothering You?

Went to Urgent Care today as my right eye (and the entire right side of my face) swelled up after eating a nectarine. My eye was also red and runny, as it is in allergic reaction. I had an itchy throat too, but am better now. It was scary, though.
My mouth itches after eating stonefruit like apples, cherries, pears, etc. but I’ve never had an itch with swelling like this before. Took some Benadryl and will start prednisone soon. Also got a referral to see an allergist.

I will stay away from certain foods from now on. 😔
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The deja vu I’ve had several times a day for the past two weeks is a part of my condition apparently. I’m positive I’ve had mundane dreams featuring a lot of the interactions I’ve had online or in person right now months or years ago. Even down to the exact same words. I’d wake up from them and be confused why I would dream up something so boring and lifelike. I also became friends with someone last week who looks and has the exact same background of someone I dreamt up multiple times last year. I had never met the person until March of 2024.

I feel like the protagonist of The Lathe of Heaven by Ursula K Le Guin. Logically I know my situation makes no sense. People in real life should not be able to predict the future. Chances are it’s either a bunch of false memories (I don’t think that’s it because I remember talking about them to other people later the same day) or it’s a bunch of very strange coincidences stemming from my condition. There’s a theory that dreams are the brain visualizing potential real world scenarios and I just have unusual luck in something similar actually happening. I’ve also had lifelike dreams that would never happen so they can’t all be trusted.
Groggy and my body feels like lead. Barely slept and I figured out I consumed less than 1000 calories yesterday. Only managed that much because my girlfriend purposely bought me a high calorie dinner, which took me from 10PM-1:30AM to eat. 😅

Half-wish I'd taken up the offer to stay in the hospital as I'm in agony this morning. Hope the painkillers they sent me away with kick in soon. 🤞
I'm thinking I may need to get in touch with my family doctor again. I didn't talk about this on here before, but almost two weeks ago I slipped and fell on my back porch, and I didn't think much of it at the time because I felt okay and got right back up (though I have a history of having a very high pain tolerance). but the problem now is that I have had a headache every day since then. sometimes it turns into a migraine and it really sucks. I've also dealt with radiating back pain a few times. I've also also been feeling excessively tired, I usually feel tired anyway but lately it's been more than usual so I wonder if it has something to do with my fall. I didn't hit my head, but I must've jolted my neck when I fell.
I talked to the doctor on Friday about it, and he said that if it gets worse, or if I experience unordinary neurological symptoms, then I would need to go to the ER. thankfully it didn't get to that point, but while it hasn't technically gotten worse, it certainly hasn't gotten better. I might need to have an x-ray done and see a chiropractor. my mum has issues with her back and has for a long time, so it would probably be a good idea for me to do that anyway. I'm just hope I can get something figured out, dealing with a headache every single day for nearly two weeks straight is awful honestly. 😔 thankfully Tylenol does help a bit, but it's obviously not a permanent solution.
update on this. saw the doctor yesterday, and after talking about my symptoms, we were able to the come to the conclusion that this is pretty much entirely muscular. I have tension in my shoulders that has built up for... probably years at this point. the doctor said that the muscles in my shoulders feel super tight, and they honestly have for quite a long time now. that's probably why I feel tense so often, it's because my muscles are literally tense and painful to the touch. it's understandable that falling would cause so much strain in my neck muscles and cause headaches and migraines for me.

and the thing is, I've known about this. my muscles have been tense for as long as I can remember. I did research months ago on local massage therapists, and they were all too expensive for me to afford. half an hour is generally $55-65, and an hour is easily $110+. when I talked to my mum about it yesterday she thought it was $20 for a half hour. if that was the case I would've had this done a long time ago!

I did set up an intake session with a local chiropractor, just because it wouldn't hurt to get my spine realigned and all that, but really what I need is a deep tissue massage. I just don't know where to go where they won't charge me $60 for a half hour session, I probably need to go once a week and I certainly cannot afford that.

but I really, really need this. I have now woken up with a headache every day for the last two weeks. last night I went to bed early because my headache turned into a migraine again. I can't keep doing this and feeling miserable every single day. 😞
Hate when I have that feeling of creativity and it wears away, even though I do wanna do something today; I just don't feel it anymore.
An old family friend passed away today, and that was shocking to hear, but I'm glad she isn't in any pain anymore, for a long while even sitting in bed she was in agony. She can rest easy now. 💕

Also informed sadly that I basically can't upload dream addresses without online membership, so I just don't feel on any point to keep going with my island kingdom idea on my friends switch; because I can't see her ever getting an online membership.
And theres no way I could buy another switch, besides the fact that whatever the next game console will be. It absoltely SUCKS.

And I am guessing I will have to go on UC again, absolute torture uggh.
So, my mom's been gone for over a month now (currently taking care of an indefinite family situation out-of-state) and I'm still stuck with my klutzy dad, who is driving me nuts. This was only supposed to last a week, but clearly things have not been resolved. I cannot clean or reorganize anything around the house without upsetting my mom, so things are just sitting in places that I can't get rid of. The last time I confronted her about house cleanliness, she refused to speak to me for two weeks.

We're also trying to get a stray cat that's been roaming our property spayed at the vet so she cannot reproduce without our knowledge, but appointments are super filled up. We tried (unsuccessfully) to send her in last Tuesday by caging her up, but she got aggressive and hid from us the whole day in our garage, thus forcing us to cancel the appointment. This is also a reason why large items that I want moved out of the house are sitting in the same places collecting dust. There are also belongings to my sister still laying around, and she lives on her own now. Why this stuff is still here is beyond me.

I told my dad how frustrated I was yesterday about this current situation, and he didn't really seem motivated to take action indoors. All he wants to do is yardwork. It's pretty stupid how little my family cares about organization in the house.
I think I've said this before, if the bug isn't too high suck it up with the hoover crevice tool! I know some people do not like this option. However, I easily stress out if there is an 'eight legged freak' as I call them in a room and it has to be done otherwise my heart will be pounding and I constantly scan the room/floor until I find it. 🫂
Can't eat. Can't sleep. Painkillers are taking the edge off but still very aware of it. Wish I was at the pub with my mates, but I'd be absolutely no fun right now. At least they understood why I had to cancel.

Went for a walk earlier. Stocked up on ginger ale, protein shakes, and had a good catch up with the cashier in the vape shop while the place was empty. Had to get the train back as I exhausted myself on the way into town but it was good to get some fresh air at least.
I think I've said this before, if the bug isn't too high suck it up with the hoover crevice tool! I know some people do not like this option. However, I easily stress out if there is an 'eight legged freak' as I call them in a room and it has to be done otherwise my heart will be pounding and I constantly scan the room/floor until I find it. 🫂

Thanks so much 🙂. It was about 4 Am and everyone was sleeping, so I couldn’t do that unfortunately 😭
I think my bad sleep schedule is starting to catch up on me, or I’m pmsing. I feel really bad for being so sensitive today. i’m really sorry. Maybe I should take some time off until I’m a bit more emotionally together. There has been stuff too that has made me a bit on edge too; I think I’m starting to feel better overall but still hurting since I’ve been and still do hold in so much not to mention stress. (sorry for the double post; should’ve just edited my post and added this there >.<>

Edit: Saw a pokemon in home with a name that is clearly targeting Muslims and a user in a raid with a name that was inappropriate (not racist but still really inappropriate). I just want to play and have fun. I reported it under other on their support; I really hope they do something about it. I really have zero faith in gaming support thanks to Hoyolab and EA. There was no category for offensive behavior.
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Well I’ve been dealing with various digestive issues for the past while now and it’s getting frustrating. I’m already on a super strict diet but my IBS or whatever this is just doesn’t care. Currently in a lot of pain and discomfort. Why does it have to hurt so much? 🥹
Just had someone come into the shop asking what time the cheese shop next door to us opens...
And then looked at me like I was insane when I said I didn't know. Like literally stood there for a bit, then asked me again saying the shop right behind that wall like...😒

The guy who owns the cheese shop doesn't open at a scheduled time. And also it is not on my job description to know when this guys shop opens, regardless if its right next to us. Like I remember he once was around when I was putting g the chairs out (first thing I do when I get there after cooking pastries) and today he wasn't out there so?

This cheese guy isn't really professional or talks to us so 🤷