What's Bothering You?

I think I've said this before, if the bug isn't too high suck it up with the hoover crevice tool! I know some people do not like this option. However, I easily stress out if there is an 'eight legged freak' as I call them in a room and it has to be done otherwise my heart will be pounding and I constantly scan the room/floor until I find it. 🫂
 
Can't eat. Can't sleep. Painkillers are taking the edge off but still very aware of it. Wish I was at the pub with my mates, but I'd be absolutely no fun right now. At least they understood why I had to cancel.

Went for a walk earlier. Stocked up on ginger ale, protein shakes, and had a good catch up with the cashier in the vape shop while the place was empty. Had to get the train back as I exhausted myself on the way into town but it was good to get some fresh air at least.
 
I think I've said this before, if the bug isn't too high suck it up with the hoover crevice tool! I know some people do not like this option. However, I easily stress out if there is an 'eight legged freak' as I call them in a room and it has to be done otherwise my heart will be pounding and I constantly scan the room/floor until I find it. 🫂

Thanks so much 🙂. It was about 4 Am and everyone was sleeping, so I couldn’t do that unfortunately 😭
 
I think my bad sleep schedule is starting to catch up on me, or I’m pmsing. I feel really bad for being so sensitive today. i’m really sorry. Maybe I should take some time off until I’m a bit more emotionally together. There has been stuff too that has made me a bit on edge too; I think I’m starting to feel better overall but still hurting since I’ve been and still do hold in so much not to mention stress. (sorry for the double post; should’ve just edited my post and added this there >.<>

Edit: Saw a pokemon in home with a name that is clearly targeting Muslims and a user in a raid with a name that was inappropriate (not racist but still really inappropriate). I just want to play and have fun. I reported it under other on their support; I really hope they do something about it. I really have zero faith in gaming support thanks to Hoyolab and EA. There was no category for offensive behavior.
 
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Well I’ve been dealing with various digestive issues for the past while now and it’s getting frustrating. I’m already on a super strict diet but my IBS or whatever this is just doesn’t care. Currently in a lot of pain and discomfort. Why does it have to hurt so much? 🥹
 
Just had someone come into the shop asking what time the cheese shop next door to us opens...
And then looked at me like I was insane when I said I didn't know. Like literally stood there for a bit, then asked me again saying the shop right behind that wall like...😒

The guy who owns the cheese shop doesn't open at a scheduled time. And also it is not on my job description to know when this guys shop opens, regardless if its right next to us. Like I remember he once was around when I was putting g the chairs out (first thing I do when I get there after cooking pastries) and today he wasn't out there so?

This cheese guy isn't really professional or talks to us so 🤷
 
I'm having difficulty trying to communicate this.

I've grown older and alone. It's like I'm undergoing a period of isolation and there's no way out except for waiting.

Talked with an old friend from over a decade ago. We chatted for a bit, gave him my number, said he'd call. Nothing.

A co-worker of mine came back from doing a remote at a car dealership. A lady I once worked with heard me on the radio and wrote me a letter with her number on it. She now works at that same car dealership. So I contacted her as instructed in her letter, sent her a text, but no reply.

When I try to break out of isolation, it throws me back in.

When I think it's about to be over, it begins all over again.

I have no idea what to do anymore.
 
My dad was screaming at one of my nieces again; right now he is arguing with my mom because she yelled at him for how he is treating my niece.

He yelled at her because she kept screaming. She’s a kid and kids get excited and scream.

he yelled at her also because she wouldn’t listen. she has adhd. my mom tried to explain that to him but he is like, you know all the answers and you’re a psychologist.she understands more than him; i have adhd and he has never (even after my diagnosis) understood it since he always yells at me when i take forever to answer and says answer me or well?! He is the one that acts like he has the answer but when someone tries to explain he does the passive aggressive behavior that I really hate.

Even as a kid, he’d freak out when I showed any signs of adhd (before my diagnosis), anxiety. But he seriously is really deteriorating and going downhill and is even more unpleasant to be around. My nieces won’t ever want to be around him at this rate. He treats the middle niece differently; it’s so obvious.

He can’t take any criticism at all.
 

I was debating on responding to this, but just wanted to say I can relate. But after having thought about it for awhile, even if I feel lonely now, I still look back on my younger years and remember some of the times I was even more lonely. Just remembering that and knowing that there's more people looking out for me today helps ease the pain somewhat. Anyway, I wish I had a concrete answer for you but I don't. I just hope you feel better soon. 💜
 
You know… I really don’t like it when my mom is in a bad mood and just decides to yell at me (and my siblings) over everything. It just makes me feel like I can’t do anything correctly. But no, just keep doing what you’re doing, Mom. I really really appreciate it. 🙃🙃🙃
 
Still feeling pretty rough from Covid. I feel like I have all of the symptoms. I am extremely tired all the time and don't have a lot of energy, which makes getting my work done so brutal because I feel so weak. I still am running a fever that won't go down and I have no sense of smell or taste now. Plus my hands have been getting a pins and needle sensation. Apparently that is something that you can get from covid, but it's rare. The sensation won't go away. It's there 24/7.
 
I haven’t had my period in 7 months. I will start birth control soon, since this is the longest I’ve gone without one, and when I DO have that time, it’s very heavy and painful. The birth control should even that out.

This is yet another reason why Project 2025 is so disturbing to me. It’s sad to think there are people who think I’ve failed as a woman because I have PCOS, because I have to take pills to regulate my body, because I have no children. Like a woman is supposed to be is broken, with a piece inside everyone’s life, rather than an interesting person on her own. (Not saying I want any children…just that hardcore fundies want every woman to be a tradwife, married young, and constantly giving birth. Almost like a robot. Creepy.)
 
sometimes i get really sad and frustrated that i cant hold a convo in spanish :/ like at work its genuinely so frustrating when a coworker/customer speaks to me in spanish, i can understand what they're saying, but my brain takes a million years to formulate a response, then when the response comes out it's not even correct, then they look at me like im stupid. its something ive dealt w for a few years now especially now that i work. and now it makes me sad because i really want to be able to communicate w my boyfriend's parents who mainly speak spanish but it's so hard to !!!! i feel like it's more frustrating knowing what they're saying+not being able to respond vs. not knowing what they're saying+not being able to respond....

and i want to practice my spanish but for years now ive been so insecure of the way i sound when i speak it (do i sound stupid? is it obvious i dont know what im saying?) it's to the point where i dont even feel comfortable speaking it around family members because of that sole fear of being judged on how i sound. ik a way to fix that is to speak it more obviously, but its hard when i literally cannot spit the words out 😭 i just feel so dumb and im just frustrated that my parents didnt teach it to me at a young age ;_;
 
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