What's Bothering You?

I'm. Really sad.

I'm manic from my bipolar and splitting from my BPD. I'm so upset. I don't wanna talk about it in detail here; but someone I really love told me they didn't love me anymore. This was during an argument; so I'm really just hoping they were saying it out of anger. But.. it really sounded like they meant it.. I don't know what to do anymore.
My manager, who I am close friends with, has said multiple times that he wishes to do steriods to build up muscle again. He is a very tall and slim guy, and I honestly see nothing wrong with the way he looks. It's sad how people compare themselves to others when they're fine like the way they are. He's said he felt good not being the "skinny" guy.

Meanwhile, I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum as the fat girl who is jealous that some people like him are naturally slim. I can't help but get annoyed when he criticizes himself, where all I ever wished for growing up was to be thin.

I could also go to the doctor and ask for a weight loss medication and they'd give it to me, but I choose not to because what's the point? As soon as I go off it I'll likely put it back on again. Likewise for steroids; you'll lose the muscle mass after time as well. I don't like my body by any means, but I accept the way I am is what it is.

I guess in summary, why can't people be happy with what they've got, society sucks 🙄😮‍💨
Been having this medical problem that I won't get into detail here but I've gone to the doctors about it before.
But due to it still bothering me and waking me up every night I've tried getting an online appointment which only opens at 8am which is when I am at work.
When it wasn't busy today however I did try and I was unable to as they have a limit of how many online appointments and its full 😰

Meaning I now have to go there in person which I didn't want to do in yhe first place cause then I have to explain it in person and its personal and embrassing DX

Need to grab some pills from th vets so may do it after that
Really high temperatures are raising my anxiety because of the incident last summer where something exploded. I am so lucky the fire was put out before it could reach the house...
I am still scared of it happening again, though.
I'm supposed to be going to sleep, but I am thinking about this instead..
update, went there in person and all I was told was i could only get an appointment via online thing from before. I tried telling her i tried today and still nothing.
mu mum thought i shouldve said it was urgent and i get that but i dont wanna give up something for someone else.
i guess if i cant after trying each morning this week, i'll try and say its urgent.
Very minor, but I decided last night to fire up one of the games I have stepped away from for a long time to find out the developer changed the game's energy mechanics so much, that I feels like a completely different game and feels unplayable to me. I don't see how anyone could be happy with the game right now. I hopped on the store page to see if anyone else complained about this large change and if there was any word on the developer just trying something new and looking for feedback.. turns out some people did complain and I guess they were met with alot of negativity from other players so (Thier word. I didn't see the discussion).... I guess it isn't going to change, idk.

So, I feel pretty bummed about it as I feel like there isn't too many great games in this genre that don't have a real ending or I am picky about games in this genre. And this game was really great from the get go even though it was early access. It ran well and the game was just alot of fun. The only thing that was tedious about it before was moving dirt around but now everything physical is tedious because of the new energy system. It still is early access so I can't be to terribly upset about it, and it is just a game, but it is still annoying. :cautious:
Contemplating if this is even worth my time, lmao. These shifts are getting worse and worse. I’m glad I have a new job.